Category: daily thoughts

Power and Money

I’ve spoken about money before, in regard to truth, and love. I wrote about the threat that the lack of it can put pressure on how we wield love in the world, https://maryfrancesflood.com/2019/02/02/love-and-money/ Of all the difficult lessons in my lifetime, that wasn’t the hardest I am content to say. Looking at the relationship between power and money, though, has been demonstrably more difficult. My family has faced tremendous challenges in the last many months, like many others have as well. The challenge for me, in this year of understanding power, is to become aware of and utilize a kind of power that only comes when the power that money yields, whether it is status, stability, fulfilling all the necessities, demands and obligations of life are temporarily at a standstill. Humbling as though it may appear, I never put my self worth into fiscal terms. But when separating the wheat from the chaff (money being the chaff, in my mind), there are other clear sources of power present.

There are few things more powerful than the true power of friendship (including family) that rises up when need is at its greatest and when the reciprocal nature of true friendship is demonstrably one sided. The power that comes with being surrounded with unconditional love keeps me going (also my own small family, but I’m only speaking for myself here). Not to sound disrespectful to those who extended prayers, they are another source of great power and are always welcome, but I am speaking about the tangible and physical presence of those who show up to aid and comfort in the trenches. More importantly, for me anyway, are those who respond without having to be asked (which I suck at). I am still able to channel that power forward to continue on my path.

I would be remiss if I didn’t address the power of my own “talents” too. Sometimes, the greatest fruits come out of difficulty. I won’t be specific, but I surprised myself at my ability to adapt to horrible circumstances with my wit, problem solving skills, and commitment in tact. The world outside may not underestimate my abilities, but I certainly did…but for today at least, I am speaking in the past tense. I also rely quite heavily on a passage in Luke where Jesus tells the people that the Kingdom of God isn’t observed but is in and around us. Jesus chastises us in the Gospel of Matthew about worry. especially in regard to money, as well:


15 “No one can serve two masters. He will either hate one and love the other, or be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.

16 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat (or drink), or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?

Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they?

Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span? 17

Why are you anxious about clothes? Learn from the way the wild flowers grow. They do not work or spin.

But I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was clothed like one of them.

18 If God so clothes the grass of the field, which grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith?

So do not worry and say, ‘What are we to eat?’ or ‘What are we to drink?’ or ‘What are we to wear?’

All these things the pagans seek. Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.

But seek first the kingdom (of God) and his righteousness, 19 and all these things will be given you besides.

Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil

I think that’s why Jesus is so harsh about the relationship humanity has with money, and with God. Like fear and love, they are often mutually exclusive. If you are going to embrace Christianity, this is its most essential tenet: either the power of money drives you, or God…it can’t be both. As much I can say I’ve always understood that concept cognitively, in this year of understanding power, I have to understand it in a multidimensional perspective and while it seems money has no power, the lack of it certainly does. Today, I step around that power and choose God

Fueling the Power of Love or Fear

I know everyone experiences both love and fear, essential parts of being human. There is a difference, though, between what we experience as love or fear, and what power becomes its driving force. For example, it isn’t uncommon for a person to “love” something or someone in such a way that in fear of losing it or feeling undeserving of it that fear becomes more of a motivation than the initial experience of love. Scripture tells us that love and fear are mutually exclusive, so when fear is a stronger motivator than love, the results are never good.

Regarding the general environment of the world today, I often hear the phrase, “how did we come to this” meaning the general level of anger, bullying, violence, greed, mistrust, blaming, etc. I think its taken a long time to get here. When love and fear are so intermingled for so long, its hard to keep those corrupting forces at bay. If you’ve ever been to a Christian wedding, I’m sure you’re familiar with 1 Corinthians 13, which espouses the many qualities of love: patient, kind, not jealous, not pompous or inflated, not rude, does not seek its own interests, slow to anger, doesn’t obsess over injury, does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in truth. Importantly, love bears all things, hopes all things, and endures all things…and never fails. A powerful phrase that I never forget: “If I speak in human and angelic tongues, but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or clanging symbol:.

Seems pretty clear to me. I can’t say I love my brother or sister and behave in a way that is antithetical to any of those descriptions of love listed above. And since we are all human, its understandable to believe that no-one acts purely out of love or fear, but when the fear out weighs the love the scale tips in favor of all the vitriol we are facing today. I may not control what motivates others, but I can see how they behave, and often, even when defining what love “looks” like, whether it is love of God, another, or a country, it doesn’t take a genius to see what their primary motivation is. In truth, those angry, accusatory, and loud mouth individuals out there blaming sections of the population for all the world’s ills, are nothing but gongs and clanging symbols. There are loving ways to express anger and outrage…and that noise? It’s not love.

Jesus spoke a lot about separating the goats from the sheep (in my mind those who are motivated by fear and those by love respectively) and he speaks of what their personal motivation is: “For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me, naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for me, in prison and you visited me” And when the righteous challenged him responding that they had never seen him in any of those situations, he said: “Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for the least of these brothers and sister, you did for me.” Boom

Overpowered or Empowered

As someone said, and I’m paraphrasing, “We can’t always control our circumstances but we can control our response to them.” A part of me knew that when I started looking into the idea of power this year, I would be bombarded with experiences that would not only transform my understanding of power, but also my lack of it…and it was the latter I was most concerned about. Face it, no one wants to feel powerless, but we all do. How we respond to the kinds of circumstance that limits power and control, not only change the dynamics, it also changes the level of power those circumstances exert.

While being forced (always against my will, even considering the learning curve) in situations that have limited the power I have over certain circumstances, I have figured out that just curling up and dying isn’t a viable option. I’ve applied the old saying, “that which doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” too many times in the last few months. Granted, I have come out stronger, but have limited feelings about how it has empowered my life. I’m putting that into the time will tell column. I will say, though, I’m not overpowered by them…at least yet.

I’ve also become more aware of the types of things, many that are simple that we let overpower us on a daily basis: addictions, fears, money, health, the future…and so many more, I’m sure. Sometimes, the empowering response is to recognize that we all need help once in a while to combat difficult circumstances, sometimes the empowering response is to quit depending on other people to solve our problems and use our own abilities. It’s often difficult to pinpoint what response is best. For addicts, one must acknowledge they are powerless over their addiction, and the following 11 steps can help you through it. For health issues, sometimes enlisting help means getting the necessary help from health professionals. The overpowering response would be to blame others or an addiction, or in terms of health, expect doctors to “fix” you without making changes to your lifestyle in response to any disease.

The most crucial, in my book anyway, is how to respond to situations where there is no ability to change a circumstance, a death, life ending disease or life altering injury just to name a few. For me, then, the greatest mechanism of empowerment is my faith. I go back constantly to one particular phrase in scripture MT 7:7-10:


“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.
For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
Which one of you would hand his son a stone when he asks for a loaf of bread, 
or a snake when he asks for a fish?
If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good things to those who ask him

I do feel empowered when I ask for things in prayer, even though I think my overpowering circumstance may seem silly compared to many others I see and hear, I do believe that my prayer will be answered. The trick to continued empowerment is to be open to however God, in God’s infinite wisdom, decides to answer my prayer, i.e. actually letting go of control of the situation and using God’s power to move forward. The older I get, and the stronger I am via learning through tough circumstance means that God’s answer often pushes me harder and farther than when I was younger (which is good, but sometimes sucks when you just want to coast for a bit), but the result, regardless of how difficult getting there was, generally turns out for the better. Sometimes the result won’t be apparent for a long time, but I pretty solid on feeling answered up to this point

So empowerment, vs being overpowered is still a personal choice, in my book. That’s not to say feeling overpowered at any given moment is a bad thing, its when the emotional decision to stay there, do nothing and let it drain all the goodness within, is where it becomes a tragedy and builds a stronghold for fear, anger, hatred, judgement and all other sorts of darkness that thrive as a result of doing nothing. Simply asking for help, whether it be in prayer or a hand held out to another, isn’t doing nothing. It may be the most empowering step.

Power and Words

Let me just geek out for a moment…not to worry, this isn’t out of the world stuff, so just bear with me. One of the most exciting premises of quantum theory states that the very act of watching, “the observer,” affects the observed reality. Electrons can behave as particles or waves depending on an observer, and how they are observed. Until then, for example, when measuring light to determine whether it was a particle or a wave, (up until that time it had to be one or the other), it was discovered that it could be both, depending on the act of observation. While I’m not going to get into the particulars of the science here (although I did do so in a high school course I taught on science and religion) I simply want to stress the power an observer or participant in life has in shaping what that life looks like. We are active, and willing participants in what takes shape in our world.

There is also plenty of science out there to back up that attitude is everything when it comes to engaging in any endeavor, a new job, success in school, solving a problem, or facing a hardship. How we engage with the world has an impact on it, and what we believe about the world does too. So, the first step in my year of understanding power begins with what place you and I have in the balance. How does what I observe in terms of information, words I hear and read, affect the direction the the world takes?

I am reminded of the ripple effect, how our small acts in the world ripple outward to effect others in a way we may never know. I am even more mindful then, of how the words and information I take in impact the world. My goal is to take the gifts God has given me, and produce good fruit from them, How do I do that? One way is by being clear about the power of the information that I ingest everyday, and what it does to my sense of empowerment and impact in the world. I say this because of the amount of literal lies and misinformation out there, much of which is inappropriately under the guise of faith and religion. Jesus says that the truth will set us free, and I work hard to find out what that looks like in my life.

The Gospel of John begins: “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God”. It is one I’ve always pondered over a lot over the years. Is God a particle or a wave? Something demonstrably impossible for us as humans to know, except through words, scripture, history, the testimony of Jesus who by his teachings and ministry show the observer where God’s power lies, and what it looks like as applied to life as a disciple of his message. The words of scripture have shaped who I am as an observer, my outlook on the world and how I behave in it. I would like to believe that the power of the Word, as John speaks of it, guides my every movement, and yet being human I know I have succumbed to becoming deaf to it when the voices of fear, hate, judgement and sadness seem too loud. The tether God has to me, though, by my personal belief and choice, brings me back eventually. While my circle may be small, I still take my influence in it very seriously…as we all should in our own circles. I know that my small ripple when combined with others does impact our world. As an observer, I want the fruits’ of my labor to build trust, love, faith, hope and ease fear, pain, anger and sadness. I want my power to reside in the words that Jesus left us, not in the structures of power built around him, that are limited to a human ability to hold to those truths.

Jesus, in his ministry often spoke of the power of words, he said that by our words we will be redeemed and by our words we will be condemned. He also said anyone who would lead astray the likes of these (children) would be like having a millstone around their neck in the depth of the ocean. We must humble ourselves to be as children, who are curious and open to the world, and that when God is with us, there is nothing that can keep us down. That is my goal as an observer, to fill myself with awe at God’s power, to see God as he is meant to be seen and instill that into my world.

Power

What enables one to move or act in a particular way? Who or what has the capacity to influence the behavior of others or the course of events? What is the source of our ability to move and influence? And most often the most elusive, is understanding a source of power and where it comes from necessary in its function? i.e., just because I believe something is a source of power, does that make it so? Tough questions, and this year will be dedicated to the source, methods and effects of different kinds of power. Terrifying prospect, really. After all these years I am pretty sure that most people have a clear idea and belief about what their source of power is and how it fuels and sets the direction of their lives, and the types of power that control our destiny on a larger level…and I say right here and now, most people don’t have a clue, because I think most people just tell themselves what is necessary to keep believing what they want to believe. Why? Just look around you, this world can be pretty f’d up. But since I asked the question in sincerity and love to God, whom I believe is the source of all power, I expect to get an answer. For Jesus said,

Amen, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it shall be done for him.

Therefore I tell you, all that you ask for in prayer, believe that you will receive it and it shall be yours.

I take him at his word, whether I’m happy about the result remains to be seen. One thing I do know, at a point where I feel most powerless in a worldly sense, I have never felt more powerful in a spiritual sense…because to my core, I believe that it is the source of all my power.

A couple of things before I start. While I was being taught to draw by my cousin who is amazing artist, I learned to appreciate the subtle shades of grey that portray the final image. The subtle shifts from dark to light make all the difference in the world when bringing life to a drawing. You have to learn to see and shift the pencil in order to get it just right. I think power works the same way, it is clarified in subtle shades of grey. I think I am a pretty good observer at this point, but I can’t see every subtly. I will try, however, and it is my hope that the picture that emerges at the end will reflect the life of what I’ve come to understand about power..

A few themes have emerged so far: having power over vs, empowering, power of politics, power of religion, power of money, power of truth vs lies, the power of education and information, and the power of fear vs love. I’m sure more will appear, and they will be added as such.

Seeing and Hearing Through the Darkness

Sitting in the dark in the glow of our Christmas tree and the beautiful multicolored lights, I realized how much more beautiful it is in the dark, when all the small little lights pierced the darkness and together create such a picture of beauty. It gives me great comfort. I think of the great star on the night of Christ’s birth that pierced the darkness and gave cause to shepherds to rejoice that something wonderful and great had occurred. Sometimes, in the darkness of the season, (both figurative and literal) I have to remind myself to appreciate how the lights we share with each other can penetrate the darkness to see that something great and wonderful has occurred.

Jesus told a story about hiding one’s light beneath a bushel basket. He said we were the light of the world, like a city on a mountain that can not be hidden. He said that no one would light a lamp and hide it under a bushel basket, and challenged us to let our light shine before others, so that they may see how to glorify the father. Without the light each of us brings, the world stays in darkness and the darkness wins. The purpose of the season is to realize and embrace the power of the light Jesus brought into the world. His light shows up in many beautiful and colorful ways. He also admonishes any who try to snuff out that light.

This is the important message of the season. Light can defeat the darkness, and of all the ways the gospel teaches us how to be a resplendent light in the world, it says nothing about judging, defaming, and hating what someone else’s light looks like, even if it different. Jesus explains what he means in the parable of a man who sows seeds on different soils and what he means by it. The sower is the vehicle for distributing his words, the soils reflect the kind of person who receives it.

5 Jesus said to them, “Do you not understand this parable? Then how will you understand any of the parables?

The sower sows the word.

These are the ones on the path where the word is sown. As soon as they hear, Satan comes at once and takes away the word sown in them.

And these are the ones sown on rocky ground who, when they hear the word, receive it at once with joy.

But they have no root; they last only for a time. Then when tribulation or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away.

Those sown among thorns are another sort. They are the people who hear the word,

but worldly anxiety, the lure of riches, and the craving for other things intrude and choke the word, and it bears no fruit.

But those sown on rich soil are the ones who hear the word and accept it and bear fruit thirty and sixty and a hundredfold.”

He said to them, “Is a lamp brought in to be placed under a bushel basket or under a bed, and not to be placed on a lampstand?

For there is nothing hidden except to be made visible; nothing is secret except to come to light.

Anyone who has ears to hear ought to hear.

I’ve spent a lot of time in the dark trying to figure out what my light is and I’ve begun to understand that my job is to simply become the best soil for the word and let go of what it is supposed to look like and let it shine, the rest will follow. I know my light alone is dependent on others who share their light to the world with me. All the metaphors Jesus uses about nurturing and bearing good fruit and being a shining light are the singular responsibility of the individual.My success is never dependent on anthers depletion. Those who try to crush or put out anyone’s’ light are truly the enemy. Fruit is fruit, and light is light.Our only job is to share what we have sown and grown and like a light shine it to the world. The unity of many small lights can defeat the darkness.

When There is No There, There

This is always a tough one, recognizing we all have a singular perspective and may not see things from every angle. Sometimes we rely on listening to another’s perspective when we are unable, or unwilling to move from where we are standing to see and hear it for ourselves. In this age of so much accessible information, I can understand how easy it is to just fall into to the practice of believing what someone else says is real or true. Except in this world of easily accessible information, it is also way too easy to manipulate someone by feeding them information that supports and perpetuates the bias one already has…especially on the internet, TV and social media.

Algorithms, simply put, are a set of instructions that when followed step by step solve a problem or figure something out. Something like instructions to tie your shoes, or follow a recipe or finding a book in a library are all algorithms. When computers have algorithms built into software, they work via input and output and build on reactions and expectations when you do A, B or C to get a result. It may seem weird that you purchase something or read something online, and then all of a sudden you are inundated in various apps by things that are linked to that purchase or interest. Your interests and biases are tracked and algorithms are built to recognize and link you to your desired result. Many algorithms are built to recognize and cater to a person’s desired result based on reactions to previous input by the user.

I know there are plenty of knowledgeable computer people out there who would snort at my limited expression of what an algorithm is and how it works, but for the purposes of today, I want people to understand why their world view is the way it is, and the potential dangers of it. Like I said in the beginning of this post, we all have one perspective and often rely on others to share their opinions to help expand that one perspective. It is the process of seeking, that can either lead us closer to a larger truth or just enhance the perspective that keeps us seeing what we want that world view to be that is important. For example, lets say a person despises vegetables and by their input on the computer and perhaps social groups, that particular attribute is compounded by being bombarded with information about others who despise vegetables, and even more information you click on as to why vegetables are not important, or even dangerous. Your perspective is more deeply embedded and you soon question other’s perspectives about the worth and necessity of vegetables and their worth as proven untrue by all the many pieces of information in your possession.

The weakness of the the algorithm, is that it doesn’t take much to prove the veracity of any post or perspective. It is the act of inputting requests for checking the veracity of any one perspective that broadens the output of the algorithm to a variety of different perspectives. Let’s say you look for a great recipe for a “great and easy cake” Personally, I would actually try said recipe to see if it was great and or easy before I pass it on to someone else with my endorsement. I have tried certain recipes and they were horrible! (I have a ton of food allergies and am always on the watch for replacements for my favorite traditions options). Just because a recipe says its easy and great doesn’t make it so. I have been inundated with recipes for alternatives ingredients described as the best, when I actually put them to the test, many are not.

The same does not work for information these days about so many deeply felt beliefs. People read something and pass it on as true without missing a beat, just because it appeals to their own personal perspective and justifies a bias they are rooted in, or maybe unaware they even have. A few weeks ago, I was talking to a friend about something read online about a school district putting kitty litter in the bathrooms for kids who are furries identifying as cats, and addressing teachers as cats. Now, in that moment I thought that was the stupidest thing I had ever heard. But when I researched on line, the very story caused so much trouble for a real school district the superintendent not only had to address it, but spent an inordinate amount of time diffusing it. THERE WAS NO THERE, THERE. I have learned that the idea of “identifying” as something other than male or female, creates such terror, that there are people who maliciously take advantage by using algorithms to bring people down rabbit holes and increase their fear.

That is why before I commit to seeing and hearing another’s perspective on whether THERE IS REALLY A THERE, THERE. I get out of my comfort zone and check it out for myself. In the process, I’ve not only seen and listened to people with a different identifiers, even furries to see they are nothing like how they are described and defined online. That is not to say that individuals can’t be a reprehensible example of any given group, that is just to be expected because they are human. It is the commitment to the truth that I am most concerned about when it comes to succumbing to our limited perspectives. Who you listen to matters. And as a final caveat…just because you read it on the internet or saw it on TV, doesn’t mean its true, you have to work a little bit to find out first. And Jesus did say there would be plenty of false prophets dressed up in sheep’s clothing who underneath are ravenous wolves.

Our House Built On Rock

worn, but not worn out

Such has been our experience over the last 5 weeks…There is a great parable in Matthew where Jesus talks about those who live by his words are likened to someone who has built a house on rock, which stands against the wind, the rain and floods. My husband and I feel that way right now, our friends and those who love us have helped us hold steady against the unique storm we are facing with his injury. More than ever, we are humbled, honored and celebrate the love extended and shown to us during this struggle. Sometimes, even under difficult circumstances it is important to see and understand the impact of the good fruits we have shared to the community around us and see how they have indeed benefited and sustained others.

In difficult times that we have all faced in the past couple of years it is easy to come to the conclusion that what you offer to the world isn’t significant or doesn’t matter. But when the storm came, so did those whose lives we have touched and they held us up, unconditionally without asking. It’s truly overwhelming at times, to embrace the love that has poured forth from so many people, and it has given us greater stamina to move forward into the future and reestablish and perhaps even produce different and better fruits to our community.

We celebrate and are thankful for our village

Radiating Heaven

Today is Good Friday, and I’m reminded that to Christians, it is the holiest time of the year. It is the day that traditionally, the crucifixion narrative is read. Beyond the obvious, that is, that it is a horrific way to die, it is the hatred and fear of the mob who stood against him that frightened me the most about this story. What was it that could turn a crowd, who just days before were singing songs of adulation and waving palm fronds in his wake as he entered Jerusalem? Was it the machinations of the church leaders and Romans who turned the public against the one who had healed and supported, taught and fed them during his short ministry? I often asked myself the question, “Would I have been like them, or like Peter who denied him three times?” Perhaps it is because of the grace I have been given that I see and understand the reasons why mob rule is so dangerous, and the horror and evil that individuals en mass are capable of when fueled with angry rhetoric (especially if the source is religious). All of us are susceptible, and if you think you’re exempt and never worried about how you would respond to mob anger, I don’t think you’re being totally honest with yourself.

So with Jesus’ great sacrifice, where are the effects of this super power we celebrate on Easter Sunday? Is the extent of it held in the future promise of eternal life? Or is there a mechanism we gain to transform the world around us in the moment? I continually struggle with what makes me, as a Christian, so different than other humans, religious or not. What makes me visibly different? I truly believe, that with seeing and hearing through the gospel message I am meant to, challenged to, radiate heaven in a way that shows I fully understand what Easter means: that they will know I am his disciple because of how I love. We understand Jesus sacrifice because we are gifted with holding the Kingdom of God within us…

Asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, he said in reply, “The coming of the kingdom of God cannot be observed,

 and no one will announce, ‘Look, here it is,’ or, ‘There it is.’ For behold, the kingdom of God is among you.”

This is where it gets tricky for me. There is so much noise and dissonance from churches around the world that not only contradict the idea that “the Kingdom of God is within” and what it is supposed to look like, but actually subvert it by redefining what heaven is through exclusive and authoritarian methods, not unlike those in power did at the time Jesus was crucified. The corruption that often lies hidden behind the righteous in power is why I continue to look to how Jesus radiated the Kingdom…extending mercy, the relinquishment of earthly power, the focus on those in need, loving your neighbor and enemy, loving God more than money, and kind civil rhetoric. That isn’t the rhythm of many professed Christians who radiate superiority, judgement, and yes, mob anger and hatred, the kinds of behaviors that Jesus deplored in his day. I think of Jesus’ quiet power standing broken and beaten in front of Pontius Pilate, refusing to be bated and justify his questions and ignorant assumptions, his quiet strength in carrying the cross and his mercy once on the cross to those criminals beside him. That is how in the worst of circumstances we radiate heaven.

Like any superpower, grace must be continually exercised, and expressed. Jesus made clear the road to heaven was to treat others as if they were indeed him. He also promised that he will come again and until then we must radiate the Kingdom of Heaven like children do or never expect to exist there. Beyond righteous behavior, we must be willing to sell all we have and follow him, and when we feel unworthy, be reminded that what is impossible for humans is forever possible with God.

Happy Easter!

Blessed are your eyes and ears

Sometimes I think of that moment in the story of Adam and Eve, when they both become aware of good and evil and what that must have felt like. Their sense of innocence was gone and they were keenly aware that they are naked, exposed, and were immersed in a world of sin. And then, I remember a line from the Easter liturgy that says: “Oh happy fault of Adam which gained for us so great a Savior” So, while none of us ate a bite of that damn apple, sin is in the world, its consequences glaringly apparent (at least to those who aren’t blind, metaphorically speaking). The good news is that we are not without hope, without help, without guidance; we were blessed with such a Savior. Which is why I’m confounded to think that there are those who think that sin isn’t their problem and that if they simply sanitize what they see and hear in the world then some how that becomes an acceptable response in dealing with its ugliness. Sin is here, that ship has sailed. It’s presence and legacy is unavoidable and is something we all have to deal with, even our youngest and most innocent. With the interconnections and expanse of social media, we are literally running out of places to sweep things we don’t want to see and hear under the rug. I also am acutely aware that one person’s definition of what is unconscionable is vastly different than another’s. And while accepting the gift of grace by following Christ has opened my eyes and ears, it doesn’t make me any less of a sinner or any less susceptible to its temptations. I think the Gospels lay out pretty clear criteria on how to go about dealing with sin. There is a clear conversation, though, about why Jesus teaches the way he does through parables:

 This is why I speak to them in parables, because ‘they look but do not see and hear but do not listen or understand.’ Isaiah’s prophecy is fulfilled in them, which says: ‘You shall indeed hear but not understand you shall indeed look but never see. Gross is the heart of this people, they will hardly hear with their ears, they have closed their eyes, lest they see with their eyes and hear with their ears and understand with their heart and be converted, and I heal them.”But blessed are your eyes, because they see, and your ears, because they hear. Amen, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it

Jesus used story telling as a mechanism to teach us about sin, love, sacrifice, and who God is. It is clear from Jesus’ perspective that many people wouldn’t get it, because they refused to be open to it, even the Pharisees. So from where I stand, I do not believe that book burning, or banning is the answer. I must admit, on a list of banned books, “To Kill a Mockingbird” and “Wrinkle in Time” are why I am a reader…and I read them when I was 11…and was not tainted by them in any way shape or form. As a matter of fact, I learned a lot about the horrors of the world without needing direct experience in how to face or understand those horrors. I also learned a lot about standing in someone else’s shoes and more often than not I was left hopeful. Sometimes, though, I learned very hard lessons about myself, that changed the way I moved and behaved in the world. Regardless of the discomfort one may feel reading a book like “Lord of the Flies”, which I hated and yet still learned a great deal about bullies and the nature of power, I learned about sin and what havoc it can create in this world, and what can happen even in the most unexpected circumstances. I think books like the ones I mentioned are necessary, not as an approval of, but as an awareness of the destruction that evil and sin have brought into the world without having to have first hand experience. Utilizing our eyes and ears and exercising what hopefully are evolving ethics and humanity in a safe environment are a way to contain the sin that need not be perpetuated as an inevitable result of being human.

I am in no way saying that any parents don’t have the right to guide their child’s education, but I am clearly saying that burning books or banning them in righteous indignation could also mean that you are afraid to see and hear uncomfortable truths about the world. Sin affects not just those who commit bad acts, but those who are victims of it as well. And most importantly ignorance of the sin is never an excuse to say you can never be responsible for it. I’m not saying this cavalierly at all. Reading a book like “Schindler’s List” was devastating for me, but knowing atrocities like the holocaust happened, opened my eyes and ears to a kind of hatred that designates a whole people as unworthy. That’s why there are those out there who would have you believe that none of these atrocities are real, and to block that knowledge so ignorance may abound and the sin can continue. I have also spent much of my lifetime working among righteous Christians who were wonderful reflections of Christ and at the same time, in the same environment Christians who were the worst kind of sinners. Hypocrisy abounds among those who believe they are above the decay of sin and refuse to acknowledge their own sin and portray themselves like wolves in sheep’s clothing.

Claiming moral superiority about how to address the nature of sin is the kind of hubris that Jesus despised. He hated the kind of hypocrisy that existed in the temple at the time of those who proclaimed a moral superiority but spent much less time living as God expected all of us to. You don’t have to like a book to appreciate it and understand its value, or believe that the very act of reading a banned book is a tacit approval of its content. There are many great books that simply depict, honestly, albeit sometimes harshly, and horrifically the character of our sinful world…but to pretend that somehow you and yours simply by the act of knowing about a sin, will be tainted by it somehow suggests you can remain free from its corruption magically in the first place. Like I said at the beginning, that ship has sailed. We are in the same boat. I will leave you with the man born blind who Jesus healed, and was booted out of the temple for being a sinner. Thinking you see, doesn’t necessarily make it so

When Jesus heard that they had thrown him out, he found him and said, ” Do you believe in the Son of Man?” He answered and said, “Who is he, sir, that I may believe in him?” Jesus said to him, “You have seen him and the one speaking with you is he”. He said, ” I do believe, Lord,” and he worshiped him. Then Jesus said, “I came to this world for judgment, so that those who do not see might see, and those who do see might become blind”. Some of the Pharisees who were with him heard this and said to him, “Surely we are not blind, are we?” Jesus said to them, “If you were blind, you would have not sin; but now your are saying, ‘We see,’ so your sin remains.

Woke

Before I offend…I am aware of the visceral reaction this word causes, and at this point in the game of my life, I don’t really mind. I could have used a euphemism like, “awareness” or “evolved” but I really think that to move beyond our own personal bubbles and being uncomfortable is essential in coming together as a people, so I don’t think I want to mince words. I absolutely believe that I am still stuck in the groggy bit between waking and sleeping, so I have a way to go before I am fully awake, or “woke”. Not because I don’t want to be, but because of the singularly small perimeters of my solitary life. I am, to use the modern vernacular, a cisgender, white, educated, Midwestern woman…I guess you could say that by nature I am pretty vanilla. And yet, regardless of the privilege of that status, I am very aware that I am so much more than that and have the scars to prove it.

For me, I am not offended by the phrase “woke” whether its used as a description or an epithet. I am only interested in what it means to me, and what has been part of my journey over the last seven years…to put into practice what God called from the heavens when Jesus was baptized, “This is my beloved, my son…listen to him.” So I have tried, sometimes harder than other times, to take the conversations, parables, teachings and actions of Jesus in a way that keeps pushing me outside of my bubble and become fully awake:

This is why I speak to them in parables, because ‘they look but do not see and hear but do not listen or understand. Isaiah’s prophecy is fulfilled in them, which says: ‘You shall indeed hear but not understand you shall indeed look but never see. Gross is the heart of this people, they will hardly hear with their ears, they have closed their eyes, lest they see with their eyes and hear with their ears and understand with their heart and be converted, and I heal them. “But blessed are your eyes, because they see, and your ears, because they hear.

I can’t comment on anyone else’s “wokeness”, except, according to Jesus anyway, that some absolutely won’t get it, he’s made that very clear. The stepping outside of one’s bubble to really see and really hear is just too uncomfortable and threatening for some so they vilify anyone else who does. I am of the “that which doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” school of evolution and when I jumped on this train I did so willingly with utmost faith and the promise that I would absolutely go where God put me and keep walking regardless of the discomfort (even though now its with a gimp instead of a dance…see original post of starting this journey, “dancing naked before the Lord”). The sad truth after all this time? You can never un-see or un-hear those painful moments that pull you out of your comfortable slumber to witness the harsh realities (and some beautiful ones too) that are out there in this world. And it has changed me and moved me beyond so many people who are happy with the bubble they are in, because I know I can’t go back to whatever it was that I thought I knew before. I just don’t have anything to say to them any more (nor they to me if I’m being honest).

I used to think that what I wrote on this journey might…I don’t know, help others in some way. I don’t think about that much anymore, because the only thing I’m sure of is what I, myself, have learned…and its been a lot, with so much more to come. So this year is dedicated to seeing and hearing beyond the bubble and by listening more to God’s beloved.

Leadership and Fear

There is a song that I used to love to sing during Mass, called “Be not Afraid” by Robert Dufford, a Jesuit. The refrain goes: “Be not afraid, I go before you always, come follow me and I will give you rest.” It is a reminder to me that throughout the whole of the Old and New Testament, the message is clear; God is always with us and will pave the way forward, regardless of the circumstances. It’s a difficult concept to embrace in these troubled times, given a pandemic, climate catastrophes and political upheaval (all the products of accumulative human free will and not God’s punishment, by the way). And yet, for me anyways, it is the most essential quality of any great leader that fear is never the guiding principle for any action and that the trust, hope and faith in the ideals and principles one stands for run so deep that nothing will impede their progression forward in bringing them to light. A leader must be the voice that rises above fear, and reminds us of who we are and what we stand for. A leader must not be swayed by the darkness that threatens us but be that hopeful voice that challenges us to stop hiding our light under a bushel basket and to uncover it for all to see and shine so bright the darkness cannot and will never win. They must remind us that we are not alone, and that together, with our combined light and talent (and for people of faith the presence of God) will guide us all to a better place.

I’ll end this short post with one of my favorite lines from scripture from the first letter of John in which we are reminded that love is the opposite of fear:

There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment, and so one who fears is not yet perfect in love. We love because God first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” but hates their brother or sister, they are a liar; for whoever does not love a brother or sister whom they have seen cannot love God  whom they have not seen. This is the commandment we have from God: whoever loves God must also love his brother or sister.

A Simple Pause….

As it sometimes happens, with me…my normally indomitable spirit has been laid flat. It doesn’t matter how or why, but only that I had to scramble to find something to hold on to so I could climb up from the darkness. Then, I had a dream about my father; we were in my childhood home’s basement. I was standing in front of our old piano and he was standing in front of his workbench, which had been moved to the foot of the stairs, and he had his back to me. In my dream I knew he had passed, and I asked him what he was doing. He said, as he was building or working on something, “hopefully not making a mistake.” Then I woke up and remembered a post I had written right before he passed away, called “letters from my father.” It helped me rise up a bit, and I offer it to you. Read them as if he were talking to you, even if the context of them don’t fit, I hope the wisdom will.

Letters from my Father

Leadership, Lies and Loyalty

While it may appear that I’m being swept away by alliterations, I think that this is the most apropos way to end my discussion on leadership and lies. Think for a moment, why would anyone remain loyal, pledge their fidelity to a leader who lies to them? There are many of us who have given our fealty to people who didn’t deserve it, whether it is due to ignorance, willful or not, fear of violence, retribution or loss, perpetuating an environment that supports our own personal illusions, or because stepping away they would lose any advantage they believe they might have as a result of an association with them. I completely understand there are a myriad of reasons why people do what they do, but this isn’t about that, this is about not wanting to remain loyal to a liar. If you don’t care, move on…but if you want to grow and evolve, it would seem to make sense that any loyalties you have should grow and evolve too. This is about analyzing and letting go of loyalties that are just not good for you anymore…and while it should go without saying, the first step is to recognize and acknowledge when you are being lied to.

While I can’t comment on anyone else’s reasons for choosing who to be loyal to, I can tell you the reasons I choose. I remember a long time ago when discussing codependency, I was challenged to look into those relationships that had, but did not deserve my loyalty. Initially, standing on my “strong woman” platform my gut reaction was that that my circle was not huge and that everyone in it was already worthy of my loyalty and I theirs. I thought it would be an easy task and like many of my initial conclusions, I was so wrong. Instead of seeing who certain people really were, I saw them as who I needed them, or wanted them to be much of the time. Without going into detail, I had to decide what criteria was necessary for me to choose who to be loyal to, and secondly, based on that criteria, did the people already in my circle deserve it. And finally, was I deserving of their loyalty too, it is a two-way street after all.

My first criteria is the foundation for any and all of my deep connections I have in my life, any loyalty has to be founded in truth. Liars, carnival barkers and gas lighters need not apply. I had to evaluate whether my associations worked to my detriment or to my sustenance and growth. Did I like who I was as a result of this association, did it bring out or stifle my potential, or did it bring out my better angels and in turn, did I bring out the best in that association as well. It was and still continues to be a long and harrowing journey, because some of the constructs and people I held onto for dear life, began to dissolve before my very eyes when they didn’t hold truth anymore, and the road ahead became more ambiguous and challenging without those comforting landmarks that no longer gave me confidence and hope. I have learned that while life’s journey is filled with many people, most moving beautifully in and then out of ours lives, more often than not our personal journey is a solitary one. And after awhile, I felt comfortable seeing my sojourns as solitary ones, even in the presence, direction and companionship of any leader I choose to follow along the way. Ultimately, where I end up at the end of my life is on me. I feel as if I can see, hear, feel and understand God much better once I stopped trying to see, hear and feel God through someone else’s construct. I think that is why I have such a visceral reaction to those lying liars who lie. Loyalty to these types of leaders is inviolate, never to be questioned or challenged, and more times than not is not reciprocal.

My second criteria is responsibility. Any leader who blames everyone else for their problems, or scapegoats other groups when they get caught up in a lie, making a mistake, or acting in a way that is contrary to what they say they believe, is unworthy of my loyalty. Leaders, regardless of their effectiveness make mistakes…period. If they admit them, take responsibility for them, and learn from them, it is a sure sign that they may indeed deserve my loyalty. The phrase “the buck stops here” has so much more meaning to me now, given the state of blamers our there. I am firmly of the “those who have not sinned throw the first stone” kind of attitude when it comes to responsibility. When a leader understands that they are not infallible, I think they work harder to get it right.

My third criteria is courage. It takes courage to stand in the forefront, share your vision and ask people to follow you even when you may make mistakes, even when you tell them the road may be hard, and there will be challenges and sacrifices along the way but that a renewed commitment to those fundamental building blocks, and axioms that hold us together as a group will set our path toward success. It takes courage to say that one leader doesn’t have all the answers and that we all need to work together and use our individaul gifts collectively. It also takes courage to make choices that help foster unity and not divisiveness, regardless of how hard it is. As the apostle Paul said so eloquently:

But as it is, there are many parts, yet one body.

The eye cannot say to the hand, “I do not need you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I do not need you.”

Indeed, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are all the more necessary,

and those parts of the body that we consider less honorable we surround with greater honor, and our less presentable parts are treated with greater propriety,

whereas our more presentable parts do not need this. But God has so constructed the body as to give greater honor to a part that is without it,

so that there may be no division in the body, but that the parts may have the same concern for one another.

If (one) part suffers, all the parts suffer with it; if one part is honored, all the parts share its joy.

1Corinthians 12:20-26

So all of you leaders out there who have deemed me as inconsequential and unnecessary, or anyone else who you blame for the word’s ills because you are too cowardly to take responsibility for your own actions…you will never have loyalty from me.

Leadership and Lies

This particular issue is going to take multiple posts. First, I don’t think its helpful to call people liars because I don’t think it does anything except further polarize us. However, lies exist everywhere, from simply lying about the size of whatever, be it your brain or your bank account, the amount you drank during quarantine, lies about relationships, to lies about elections and race and gender. Whether it is just telling someone what they want to hear even though you believe the opposite to avoid conflict or judgement, or the many lies we tell ourselves and the people we choose to be around to the help us sustain those lies to keep up the illusion of being other that who we really are, we all live in a culture that is far from truthful. If you can’t see yourself in any of the above examples, then I absolutely don’t know what to say to you except you are in a vulnerable place that the lying liars who lie have a special ability to pick up on, and you best be careful what band wagon you jump on.

I think its human to rationalize away our faults, weaknesses, fears etc. but I also know you can’t evolve if you spend all your energy doing so. My father taught me that in order to grow and evolve, you must continually challenge yourself and the beliefs you hold dear, to see if they still remain a reflection of who you are and what you stand for. As I’ve started this blogging journey with God, I have learned to recognize those who rationalize their way out of and refuse to change and adapt by finding someone or something else to blame or choosing institutions that allow you to believe that you have a leg up on everyone else. It isn’t enough anymore to simply say that everyone does it, or the little white lies we hide behind are no big deal…because they obfuscate the simple truths that are supposed to push us through those illusory patterns, better enabling us to recognize these deceptions and weaknesses in the future. This isn’t a push to walk around emotionally exposed, it is a push to see with your own eyes those truths that help you evolve and face your weaknesses, fears and darker side. Jesus always said that the truth will set you free, and I, for one, take him at his word. The greatest threat of leadership today are those leaders who represent and feed on the lies that perpetuate a false narrative of control, righteousness, and privilege above others who are different. These are the kind of leaders who convince you that anyone who doesn’t support them doesn’t deserve the same abundance of what the world offers their followers. They do it by undermining those champions of light who try and shed light on the lies they tell to keep people in a deep state of fear. It’s happened over and over throughout history. Let’s not let it happen again.

Goodness isn’t relative to the happy thoughts you have and just a desire to be a work in progress…it is relative to the effort you put forth to be that tree that bears only good fruit that Jesus talks about. It is relative to your ability to allow the truths that are present to remove the illusions we cover ourselves with. Truth knows that the best of who you are doesn’t need all those coverings and trappings that the liars who lie tell you that you need. Facing your own truths better enable each of us to choose those leaders who not only do the same, but will ensure that we all become trees that bear good fruit.

An Environment for Leadership

Yes, it’s already March and I’ve yet to post, but there was much wading through necessary existential crap to be done before I could see a starting point. I could write a multitude of papers on the essential qualities of a good leader, histories of great leaders, the measurement and impact of evolutionary roads forward like I did in grad school…but I don’t think that is what this year is about. Considering the climate of the present time, and the depth of anger, misinformation and lack of any true critical thinking of the masses, I think even the second coming of Christ would have difficulty being seen as anything but another rabble rousing anti-(insert appropriate noun) dissident. And if you react adversely to the last statement, ask yourself this: how easy is it for you to lap up that latest sound bites against people or movements you hate…yah, not much use of critical thinking there.

So, it is incumbent upon all of us, I believe, to create an environment where good leaders, in whatever capacity, can succeed. What we don’t need are those kinds of leaders who divide, create fear, lie, disseminate misinformation, and encourage isolationism, all for their own power and gain. You know, the kind that creates such a frenzy of political and vitriolic illusory dust that we can’t even see straight as to who or what we are following. So, what this year will be about for me is settling the dust of anger, hate, and just bad information so we can see clearly enough to follow leaders out there who best represent what we stand for. Let me add a small caveat: what we stand for, is not the same as what we stand against. Standing against something as a primary motivation is too easy for someone with less than altruistic ideals to manipulate the anger that lies within us all who feel harmed in some way into creating the kind of mob mentality that is the source of much of the destruction we’ve seen over the last months. Let the anger we feel from injustice, help us understand and clarify what exactly it is we actually stand for, and find a way forward that is a larger reflection of those ideals. And if what you stand for is destruction and the preservation of your own self interest…you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

For me, the anger I’ve experienced since I’ve started this blog, is the disregard for truth, the hubris of the privileged few, the lack of informed civility in debate and information sharing, the tendency to scapegoat others and avoid personal responsibility, racism and the corruption of Christianity which is the source and soul of my entire existence. So that means, for me anyway, that I stand for: truth, the pursuit of happiness for all, the work that goes with being truly informed and using common decency and civility to share that information, taking responsibility for my own failings and make the necessary changes instead of blaming others, extend a listening ear and commitment to fight against the forces that unfairly marginalized people of color, ethnicity, religion and sexuality, and to declare and model with love all that my faith requires of me. I’m sure there will be more in the coming year, but I’ll start with those for now. Let me finish then with this question:…what is it that you stand for?

Joy and the Long Game

As I have stated often, it is hard to speak of joy during turbulent times. While I’ve learned to focus on small joys, and clean my house of those who obstruct my personal evolution, I have also learned that living in the moment demands acting in a way that builds joy for the future. There are a lot of my Christian friends who are convinced that revelations is unfolding before our very eyes, and speak of doom and gloom that I believe only perpetuates fear (and somehow those who push said fear are sent from God…go figure). Fear has never been the focus of the gospel message, it is quite frankly the antithesis of the gospel message. Jesus the Savior more than anyone understood the frailties and failures of the human spirit. Jesus the teacher, though, speaks more of what brings about troubling times and how we should behave to survive them (from the 24th chapter of Matthew:

As he was sitting on the Mount of Olives, the disciples approached him privately and said: Tell us then, when will this happen and what signs will be of your coming and of the end of the age?” Jesus said to them in reply, “See that no one deceives you. For many will come in my name and say ‘I am the Messiah’ and they will deceive many…But of that day and hour no one knows, neither angels of heaven, nor the Son but the Father alone…Therefore stay awake! For you do not know on which day your Lord will come

Interestingly, prior to the disciples query, Jesus goes on a rampage about what liars and hypocrites the church leaders have become and to be wary of those who appear holy in name and appearance with positions of high esteem and power, yet don’t practice what they preach. My favorite lines he uses to describe them are from Matthew 23:

You are like whitewashed tombs, which appear beautiful on the outside but inside are full of dead men’s bones and every kind of filth…Blind guides who strain out the gnat and swallow the camel…You cleanse the outside of the dish but inside they are full of plunder and self indulgence…

The point is so clear…a title of power means nothing if their words and actions are empty or contrary to the teachings of scripture. Jesus demands that the greatest among us must be a servant, and the way to survive the trouble of the times is to always be ready, by treating the least among us like we would treat him. For me, that is joy in the long game. Joy in the future is contingent on my actions today. My readiness also means that I am critical of anyone who promises salvation and yet behaves like the scribes and pharisees , the liars and the hypocrites that he decries prior to his comments on troubling times ahead. Actions speak louder than words. There is no other way to look at it.

Prayers for you on my Birthday

So, here I am starting my 61st year, a bit shocked at the place we are at. It leads me to believe that prayer, among many other actions are more important than ever. I think we can agree that we live in troubled times (yes, I know that’s an understatement) so my prayers for you this year on the anniversary of my birth are about evolution.

First, if you are one of the few who believe that you are already on the top of the evolutionary scale and everyone else simply has to catch up…I pray you pull your head out of your butt and understand that as long as you’re still breathing (pun intended) you have plenty of room to evolve. And if you remain resolutely firm in the belief that you have all the answers, or even most of them, I pray that karma doesn’t hit you too hard to force the issue.

I pray for you to find and develop your spiritual intelligence, from whatever source inspires that spiritual essence that exists in all of us…be it nature, music, art, meditation, scripture, or more traditional church. With that inspiration, I pray that you learn and grow and expand that intelligence into all that you do. The world is changing around you whether you like it or not and honing spiritual intelligence can only help you evolve with the changes.

I pray that you are able to evolve past what isn’t working in this world and find ways to change in a way that supports the evolution of everyone and not just you. Just as everyone walks their own path, its more important than ever that your journey doesn’t progress at the expense of someone else’s. Your success in this world should never be predicated on some one else’s failure. This is not the same as saying some will fail on their own, I mean more of the stepping on someone else to move forward kind of evolving. I think its evolutionary to believe and embrace goals that help all of us succeed, and I think it also honors a God who has created a body that can and should celebrate every part of it, even the seemingly insignificant.

I pray that you can evolve beyond what makes you afraid, and understand that the greatest way to overcome fear, is to shed a light on it and face it head on instead of turning a blind eye. Fear only controls what you allow it to and should never be the primary source or reason for any action. We are all afraid of one thing or another, be it rooted in money, judgement, violence, sickness, gender and race or a host of other things…and addressing fear with love, which is so much more powerful and bigger than we are individually, I can guarantee will help fear dissipate (and for those of you who claim to be Christian, you are commanded by God to love one another, because the opposite of love is fear, and choosing fear over love means you reject God who is love)

I pray that we all can embrace change, because it is a universal truth whether we like it or not. Evolution comes when we can clear our vision of illusions and work hard to see truth. While technology advances and tightens our global circle, it can also move us toward even more falsehoods or expose them. Words matter, facts matter and while you may disagree, the lying liars who lie are becoming even more deft at manipulating the truth, So, in order to evolve within change, truth, not opinions or falsehoods are essential.

I pray that that you can celebrate the unique and perfect blueprint that God created in making you. (go with the poetry for a moment and leave genetics aside). I pray you can evolve every great talent that has been built in and bestowed on you, and in doing so I want to thank you ahead of time for the impact it will have on the world and all its troubles right now. We need every gift we can get, and as soon as you understand how gifted you are, the quicker those gifts can be used to help our world evolve.

Lastly, I pray that throughout all the necessary changes our world needs right now that through them you feel and know that you are loved, that you show others that they too are also loved (especially someone you don’t love right now, because I guarantee you they need it) and celebrate the joy that comes with building a new and stronger future for everyone.

Joy and …..

This post was originally titled something else. I tried to live within the theme of joy, but given the current situation in our country and world, the message seemed inappropriate, because truthfully,…it felt trite, disingenuous, disrespectful, entitled, and simply unfair to be talking about joy right now. So, if you would indulge a bit of diversion this is my “not joy” insight. If joy is feelings of great pleasure, happiness and contentment, then we should all take a quick hiatus for a moment. There are times when given the gravity of the violence happening in my home town, when a discussion of joy is reserved for a later date. There may be a time to talk of joy amidst crisis, but that moment is not now.

I have only one single perspective. If I stand alone and demand that the only value is in what I see, and hear and dismiss any other vantage point because it is contrary or different than my perspective then it is antithetical to my personal evolution and contrary to my faith. If I try to move around to see things from different angles and ask for and listen to the perspective of those who may see things vastly different than I do, I think that not only helps me evolve and fulfills what Jesus requires of us, but is the only necessary place from which good solutions are to follow. I think its essential to take a moment and walk a mile in someone else’s shoes. Looking at things from a variety of perspectives, asking and listening to others doesn’t mean that I have to buy in to any one perspective, but it is required if we are to love our neighbor as ourselves, and love the least among us as if they were Christ. What seeing from a variety of perspectives does for me is to create a sense of empathy, understanding and a greater truth beyond my own limited perspective. Then I get to re clarify and move beyond my limitations.

We have some difficult steps to take now and into the future. It can’t happen without a dialogue, one that is sure to be charged with emotions and opinions. But, if we truly want to get beyond this crisis of the pandemic, racial inequity and the resulting violence and bring together the people of this country, then confronting the uncomfortable and learning to address these problems with civility and respect is a necessary requirement. Before any of us stand in polarity for or against any issue, remember these words that Jesus spoke:

I tell you, on the day of judgment people will render an account for every careless word they speak. By your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.

There will be a variety of perspectives on all the worlds ills in the weeks to come, especially before our elections…let reason, love, truth and the golden rule of treating others as we would treat ourselves reign. I won’t tolerate bullying, but I am open for dialogue. I am praying all the time, for us all.

Joy and Revelation

me

Amidst scrubbing for the umpteenth time, dried food on pots and pans and the ratsin’ fratsin’ that kept pouring out of my mouth, I had a revelation that brought me peace among the crust of other people’s garbage. The revelation pulled so much of my journey over the last few years together, amidst a pandemic, financial upheaval, polarizing anger and judgement…it all became so very clear. And to begin with, this has nothing, well mostly nothing to do with partisan politics, those of you who think differently than me should know by now how dear you are to me…if not, I’m sure I will be rethinking my ability to communicate that better. Secondly, I really don’t give two hoots in hell if I make some people angry. Do you want to know why? I DID THE WORK…and when I didn’t get it right, karma came crashing down until I got it right. (my relationship to God stems on a quick turn around so I waste no time) please check this reference on “standing in the middle” https://maryfrancesflood.com/?p=7930. Third, because I did the work, I am emboldened to tell you what I think is important information kind of like a philosophical/ theological explorer of sorts. And Forth, and maybe the most important of all, the possibility exists that I am totally fuc@#$g completely off base, and like Thomas Merton said “My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.” And also my obsession with Job; https://maryfrancesflood.com/2012/04/25/the-patience-of-job/ I am perfectly aware that I don’t have the omniscience that God has, so if I’m wrong about any of this, it certainly wasn’t for failed effort. I don’t think God would allow me to keep such delusions. Anyway, here we go.

I’ve been think a lot about this particular scripture when Jesus talks about the separation of the sheep and the goats. When Jesus comes back in all his glory, he will separate the sheep from the goats…basically those who understood the point of his ministry and utilized the power of grace to inherit the kingdom of heaven (which is super goal oriented, I guess). The bottom line is that the prize will go to those who treat the least among us like they were Christ…there is a lot fodder for discussion for what that means, but let me assure you it has nothing to do with the recitation of the phrase “I accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior” and then keep kicking the least among you because you think they are sinners and disgusting, and well basically because you said the magic phrase and I’m in the club now, and gives you license to be God in judgment and jury. Love is more efficacious than that…which is evidence why I can love people who stand on a different polarity than me…their love is efficacious (look it up, its a cool word…you’re welcome).  Also, the least among us may look differently to each person see:https://maryfrancesflood.com/2015/01/02/of-consequence-and-consequences/. What makes us a sheep and not a goat, is how we respond to the people we think are of no consequence, or using my reference from the beginning of the post, who throw cooked on dried on food container in the sink for us to clean up. Jesus taught me in a dream, that if I really wanted to keep true to that message I had to be willing to wash someone’s feet that I think is so off it would be painful to do so, and I’m also reminded of  that question that my eldest son posed when he was eight that rocked my world, “Mom, there isn’t a place even in hell that the love of God can’t reach, right?” This is where my frailty comes in and my deep dependence on God to do the right thing when someone has spiritually knifed me in the back…while the anger and all that comes with that is justifiable and all I want to do is eviscerate them with my velociraptor like vocabulary…I recommit to refusing to let it turn me into a goat. (even though for the record this metaphor is lost on me because I love me some baby goats…I understand Jesus meaning though).

The joy comes because of the work that I’ve done, work for which I WILL NOT AND NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR, even if you call me a pontificating freak (which in so many words people have said a lot).I have the war wounds to show for it, and the wisdom to know what is self inflicted and what is not. The joy comes because I have walked and listened to a multitude of perspectives…again, here is the reference: https://maryfrancesflood.com/2018/02/15/truth-and-perspective/. The joy comes because I am so much more than those people that are stuck in one position and refuse to broaden their perspective by simply moving and opening their eyes to a different angle. I have joy because I recognize clearly those who are stuck and understand that it is as impossible to change their minds as it is to have someone color blind understand the color purple. The joy comes because “I” am so much more, because my eyes are open and God has shown me a multitude of colors I hadn’t seen before…and that does make a difference. As the little prince says in St Exupery’ great book: words are often the greatest source of misunderstanding…and then goes on to say “What is essential is invisible to the eye; it is only with the heart that one can see rightly” Jesus says it too: they will know you are my disciples by how you love one another. The joy also comes even amidst the anger that I feel when someone else’s stupid fear (and or just someone’s stupidity) creates havoc in this world. I have joy even amidst the sadness of so many life changes and losses, because the crux of my faith is when God is with me, nothing can keep me from his love…and those who don’t live by that are becoming or already are goats. And I can’t change that, except to treat them, and the least among my particular world as I would Christ. I can only change my response to them, and see if that makes a difference. And sometimes that response looks like wielding a sword, and others like washing feet. The joy comes when I simply do what the Gospel asks me to do, and the promise that I am not alone, even if I am physically in any given moment.

The joy comes, also, because for the first time in a very long time, I don’t feel alone. I feel connected to the great source that connects us all, and in my prayers I feel you, (even though I may not physically know you), struggling to become or stay sheep. I feel joy in praying for you every day too.