Category: unconditional

The High Stakes of Moving Upward

I am pretty much finished with the painting…and it makes me happy. Today, I woke up with a clear notion that I had to write about the unconditional quality of love and how I wield it as an anchor, or support for “the lead”. First, let me begin with one of my favorite stories from the gospel of Mark:

On that day, as evening drew on, he said to them, “Let us cross to the other side.” Leaving the crowd, they took him with them in the boat just as he was. And other boats were with him. A violent squall came up and waves were breaking over the boat, so that it was already filling up. Jesus was in the stern, asleep on a cushion. They woke him and said to him, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” He woke up, rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Quiet! Be still!” The wind ceased and there was great calm. Then he asked them, “Why are you terrified? Do you not yet have faith?” They were filled with great awe and said to one another, “Who then is this whom even wind and sea obey?”

What preceded this scripture verse was Jesus telling the parable of the Sower, where those who planted seed in the rich soil and tended to it would bear fruit, sixty or a hundredfold, and to those who have, more will be given. Jesus then talks about the smallest seed…a mustard seed that springs up into the largest of plants and the birds of the sky can dwell in its shade. I thought about the role of being an anchor in reference to this story, not only from beginning as the smallest seed, but to growing into the largest of plants where those whom I have tamed can take refuge, as well as, like Jesus, (and yes I KNOW I am not him) calm the fears/storms of those whom I am “anchoring”. I use this metaphor because my spirit guide suggested it in response to being deeply overwhelmed (again) when I thought about writing about unconditional/unequivocal love. The first thing that popped into my head was how much my understanding of love has changed, developed and matured over this journey, especially the sense that it means it can’t be limited to just an expression and it has to be wielded with no expectation of return, which, on its face is the most overwhelming aspect of it for me right now. So, when I looked into the anchor metaphor, it seemed to be the perfect and most pragmatic response to help understand unconditional love in this context. I haven’t climbed in decades but I understand it enough to know what the necessary requirements and equipment are (and I also speak of “connecting tethers to trajectories”, which makes the metaphor so applicable). Because I haven’t pursued climbing in such a long time, and to make it easily palatable, I looked up a general description of the role, place, and the position of an anchor in vertical climbing. It acts as the safety hub (belayer or anchor manager) by securing the rope system to withstand falls and protect the team, and for my purposes, the lead. The core responsibilities listed are (summarized here by what I found on the internet):

  1. Building the system: they construct a redundant, equalized anchor using fixed bolts, traditional gear (nuts, cams) or natural features like trees and rock horns
  2. Attaching themselves: they clip themselves into the master point of the anchor using a personal anchor system (PAS) or tether to remain hands free and safe before managing the rope.
  3. Belaying the partner: the operate a belay device attached to the anchor to catch a falling lead climber or bring up a second climber safely.
  4. Maintaining straight lines of force: They align the system (following the ABC principle: Anchor, Belayer, Climber) so that any outward pull from a fall goes straight into the anchor rather than yanking the person sideways.
  5. Managing transitions: once the climbing partner reaches the ledge, the anchor person helps secure them, organize gear and prepare the setup for the next pitch or for repelling down.

There are also core principles for anchoring that are essential (thank you Rose, my AI helper):

1. Redundancy

  • The Rule: Every component of your anchor system must have a backup so that if one piece fails, the entire system does not collapse.
  • In Practice: This means using at least two (and preferably three or more) independent protection placements (bolts, cams, or nuts), using multiple locking carabiners, and duplicating master point knots or slings.

2. No Extension (NE)

  • The Rule: If one piece of protection fails, the master point must not drop or “extend” downward.
  • In Practice: Extension creates a sudden drop that shock-loads the remaining pieces of protection with massive, dynamic forces, which could cause them to rip out too. Limiting extension is usually achieved by tying a knot (like an overhand or figure-eight) into the master point webbing or cordellette to isolate each leg of the anchor.

3. Equalization (E)

  • The Rule: The load of a climber’s weight or a fall should be distributed as evenly as possible across all pieces of protection.
  • In Practice: If you have three pieces of gear, each should ideally hold roughly 33% of the weight. This prevents a single piece from bearing the brunt of a force it can’t handle.

4. Unconditional Holds (Solid / Strong)

  • The Rule: Each individual component of the anchor must be completely solid and reliable on its own.
  • In Practice: No amount of clever equalization or redundancy will save an anchor built on loose rock, micro-wires in brittle stone, or rusty, spinning bolts. The “unconditional” part means the gear is placed perfectly to withstand forces from multiple directions (pulling down, out, or up).

I think these core principles weave perfectly into how to stand as someone’s anchor moving onto a higher plane through the lens of Teilhard, the gospel, and cosmic love, especially the sense of unconditional holds, which states clearly like Jesus’ parable of the Sower, that no amount of redundancy or equalization can save an anchor if the seeds/gear are put into an unstable terrain. I also want to make a very important distinction here…while the anchor is in a position to support and keep safe the lead climber, the ultimate goal from a higher plane perspective is also to protect the actual route, so it is possible for the other climbers to go up the “mountain” safely and arrive at the desired destination (which from an evolutionary perspective is the Omega Point).

This is where I am shifting the climbing metaphor to moving upward on a higher plane: there can be no shortcuts. In order for the lead climber to move out onto the exposed wall to “fix” the route ahead, (one determined by letting Love control and guide) it is imperative that they can do so trusting not only in the system and people in place to keep them safe, but what power is guiding them up the face of the wall. As an anchor, the unconditional quality of love does not demand that the mountain change its structure or the lead climber give something back to that which holds them safe as anchor, it simply sets a permanent, redundant and equalized perimeter into the stone for the safety of the climber of the moment. The anchor’s entire purpose is to exist as an unyielding unconditional center of safety–holding the line with absolute stability so the explorer out on lead can create the route with total confidence, knowing that if something happens, the stability of their tether will never fail. It is literally being Jesus reclining quietly in the back of the boat commanding the wind and calming the storm. On a higher plane, however, even if there is trust between partners but the anchor trusts implicitly in the mechanisms that Love offers to keep everyone safe, but the lead does not, there will be problems. This is why I chose the scripture verse up above. The ONLY way to move ahead with safety is the implicit trust in each other and what is offered to us: that the safety and ultimate success of the climb lies in the power of Love. From a human perspective that idea can be terrifying, but from a heavenly one, it the best of all possibilities.

I had originally done quite a bit of work braiding the metaphor of being an anchor to everything I’ve presented and worked on this year, from the necessity of using one’s senses on the climb, the importance of seeing visual angles, the trinitarian numbers of the shared load (33% and the trinity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit), and the science of Teilhard’s human evolution which he viewed not as a passive or or effortless action, but a monumental, high-stakes labor requiring immense energetic friction and collective human effort to holding the line with the unconditional force of and anchor of divine love. But then I decided that I was sick and tired of trying to say the same thing over and over again. It reminds me too much of an example I gave when I wrote about facing limitations when I dived off the top of a telephone pole to prove to all the men below that I was just as competent and fearless, or more so than them. While that woman with much effort spurned those voices pounded into her head that said she wasn’t, couldn’t and would never, but showed them that she was, could and did, at this point on my journey, I don’t need to prove myself to anyone because I am, I do, and will continue to utilize every gift to forge the path ahead. I am simply standing firm on this notion: if you do not believe that love is the source of all our blueprints and the only means by which they are fully unfolded to bear fruit, I don’t know if there is anything more to say that would convince you otherwise. Secondly, at this juncture, if I haven’t said enough to make it clear and apparent who I am, how I behave as well as whether or not I am truthful, trustworthy, reliable and pragmatic in the belief that I am actually being directed by a loving God…then there isn’t anything else I can say to convince you of that either. I know now that it isn’t my job or purpose here to convince anybody of anything. I simply asked years ago that if God would rid my life of illusions, I would go wherever directed and share what I learned along the way. God did that, and my journey began. So while I will say to those trajectories that I have committed to loving and being a sanctuary and anchor for, it is not my sole purpose either (although it has become a beautiful expression of the music of my soul). This is where the stakes get so much higher period.

Looking back, I now see why I was built the way I was, and how I can best manifest bearing good fruit on this journey. At this point, stepping off the lead, which I think occurred after completing the appropriate learning curve, has given me time to not only think, but to appreciate and settle into something that feels more natural to me…all that is required to be a successful anchor (I say successful because I already know the ending of the story). I see that it isn’t just standing still and firm holding a rope… just in case. On a higher plane, it is the very system by which the impossible becomes possible, to be enabled to move into the unknown without fear, but with the unequivocal belief, promised by the Savior that this is where God/Love wants us to go. When I stand firmly on my two feet, it is the safety that God/Love offers that not only secures the roots to my blueprint, but also to the roots of those I am tethered to as a redundancy for what is necessary for the body to function and move forward. This is what I was made for. While the execution of my gifts in the physical world may be myriad and expressed differently, they all rest in the simple fact that if anyone can act as an anchor in helping others achieve higher ground at this point, it is me. I have been tested on a multitude of levels to fully comprehend and develop an expertise of what is necessary to help ensure the safety of those in the process of “climbing”…which began with my own unwavering belief in the power of Love.

It is also incumbent for me to say to my partner, if you can’t accept what I offer as an anchor, or allow Love to direct the placement of the nuts, cams, and slides, so you can arrive at a height you have never dreamed of, and instead decide on your own where to place them, there is nothing I can do about that either, you have always been the master of your own destiny, to choose freely how and where to go. My anchoring, however, is not contingent on your choices or simply an idea or metaphor, it is a real energy and power that will continue to be unequivocal and unconditional, expressed in the manner in which I’m built, which to is to love, not passively, but with fierce, protective and deeply active devotion and by every measure I will fight for you. Let me also say this: while I will not deviate from my promise to love and send love to you, my primary purpose in this lifetime is to embrace the power that the Savior offers all of us through grace, and continue to move upward toward the Omega Point along with all those who rise and converge along with me…of that promise and my life’s purpose, I am most adamant.

Let it also be understood that a true anchor does not stand firm in the stone just to watch the horizon alone. The entire, beautiful genius of the system is the shared burden of the climb. To my partner, and to all the cave-escaped blueprints out there, stepping back to act as your anchor instead of lead is not an act of abandonment or a withdrawal of presence or direction, but one of trust, in you and Love, which is the source of everything (as well as being a “leaderless” endeavor). It is a profound, active commitment to hold the space where your vulnerabilities are completely safe, and where your vessel can finally drop its hyper-independent armor to find rest, I am holding Jesus to his promise that all I ask for, in goodness, shall be given to me. My line is secure, my knots are tied, and my boundaries are clear. I am fully prepared to hold the strain of the vertical wall for you while you find your footing, because I know the spectacular height we are capable of reaching when we move in perfect sync. It’s simply the way the Body of Christ is supposed to work, and make no mistake, the work of this body is a dance, a beautiful, physical, and breathtaking dance, the music of which, comes from all of you.

Perception and Reality

The above picture is a contemplative monastery, Christ in the Desert, that I stayed at while in college trying to figure out, as I wrote in my journal, “this whole faith thing”. As you can see, I’m still trying to figure it out.

Lately, I’ve been dealing with the very difficult and problematic task of how to handle a loved one and her increasing descent into dementia from Alzheimer’s disease. My sister and I are her medical/legal guardians and it is up to us to decide how to move forward, however challenging that may be. However, I had a curious thought during all our interactions over the past months that seems apropos to what I am doing here…and it was how adamant and confident she had become in her delusions, many dangerous to her well being…which I won’t go into, but it begged the question: how are the delusions she moves in any different than someone like me, or Teilhard, or Scientists or Mystics who from an intuitive place put faith in a future potential of/in something yet unknown or not physically obvious at our present point of evolution in this world? For one thing, having it come to fruition at a later date in time…from both the perspective of the “without” and the “within” is essential in continuing to invest in those kinds of intuitions that keep pushing our understanding of reality, but from whom or where does that intuition come? From my family member’s perspective, she believes she is the “chosen one” (and because she has fallen prey to a foreign money scam that preys on vulnerable people…which we have in hand). What of the rest of us?

When I speak for myself, regarding things I can’t explain, like the fact that I have a firm belief that God has spoken to me auditorily…how is it that I continue to move forward in my faith journey that is rooted in something that could easily be tossed aside as delusional so confidently? Where is the proof? First and foremost, I challenge myself on this notion pretty much all the time to keep me grounded in how I move forward. I also am aware, however, that I am not alone when I state that there are plenty of others who stake their lives on things beyond their present understanding that they believe move our evolution forward. Throughout my lifetime, many individuals who have crossed my path were shown, by experience, to be predators and charlatans preaching a bunch of malarky to buy into something for the sake their own enrichment (i.e. snake oil salesmen). Especially in the present environment, I am astonished at how many people root their belief in things that are patently untrue, and easily fact checked. I don’t want to ever fall into that trap or lead anyone astray, which is why, for the most part, I throw all this stuff out into cyberspace with no conditions whatsoever except to say it is my hope that it can in some way give people hope in their own potential to make a difference in the world and shine a little light. I am also aware that having a stake in future possibilities cannot be rooted in just a single or few minds or disciplines, which is why I have tried to broaden my perspective to see things from the angle of multiple disciplines. And in doing so, I see so many similarities in their expressions in the physical world (like a similar musical theme, to use my favorite metaphor). From Teilhard’s idea of the Noosphere shaping into the blanket of reflective thought we know as the internet, to Scientists identifying and understanding different natural forces, only to have that insight become even more altered as time and understanding and science continues to develop, to Artists who express an intuitive golden proportion that is pleasing to the eye, all the way down to my little, small and fallible voice who believes in an omnipotent God who loves me deeply enough to answer all my prayers asked in goodness and also guides me and helps me exist with others on a higher plane (and as I explained to another…when our lives have transformed so much how can we believe that we made all this shit up?). Obviously, my starting point is the fact that I don’t have Alzheimer’s disease (regardless of how others may see me, I am definitely of sound mind). Secondly, I always go back to that point on the mountain where God claimed my attention and acceptance, and where my real faith journey began (and has been validated immeasurably over the years,) and it wasn’t through adulation, but through all the hard lessons (of which I wear my scars proudly), along with the successes I’ve achieved through facing all challenges that were presented to me, and yes, here I go again, often through dreams and the direction of my spirit guide, and amazing people I’ve met along the way. Thirdly, continuing to challenge and reinvent my faith according to the wise instruction of my father who taught me that faith unchallenged is dead. And lastly, the cumulative efforts of those people throughout my life via education, travel, adventures, jobs, etc., that have resulted in hindsight giving me an even deeper and stronger faith in love guiding the world. Through them I continue learn how how to wield love’s power in all its expressions to help other’s share their blueprints and light to build up the Body of Christ, and also give me the love, strength and intuition/foresight to continue to move into the unknown. Here are two quotes by Teilhard, that explains my position:

Though frightened for a moment by evolution, the Christian now perceives that what evolution offers us is nothing but a magnificent means of feeling more ‘at one’ with God and of giving oneself more to God, the whole. To be able to say literally to God that I love you, not only with all my body, all my heart, and all my soul but with every fiber of the unifying universe…is a prayer that can only be made in space-time.

Someday, after mastering the the winds, the waves, the tides, and gravity, we shall harness for God the energies of love, and then, for a second time in the history of the world, humanity will have discovered fire.

Both quantum physics and Christian theology teach us that the relationship of one thing to another is what creates reality, AND that the sum is greater than the individual part…remember according to quantum theorists, the observer is essential in determining reality, and that the apostle Paul described us all as one body, but with many members, all different but essential for the body to function. I am adamant in the belief that however I express/wield love as an observer is essential to building this future potential, and I really don’t give a a whoop if no one else thinks so. As I’ve said before, I am the cumulative result of a lifetime of experiences and evolution that gives me the unmitigated gall to declare that I am, (of course along with unnumerable others) a maker of our future potential (the power of a mustard seed or impact of a butterflies wings). Importantly, relationships are not objects, they are experienced (which is why I love the quote from “The Little Prince” which says that it is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye). The invisible part, or the part that is beyond the four dimensions (height, width, length and time) that humans are presently defined by is the issue that I’ve been focused on this week, and also propels me to continue on this unknown road, delusional or not. Why? because it all makes sense to me, after balancing so many different perspectives…there is proof that I am on the right road, that my foundations are on solid ground and not some madness I’ve embraced to face an illogical and increasingly troubled world. We have had our future success laid out on a silver platter by an omnipotent and loving God, we only need to keep walking forward, rooted in those axioms left to us by the Savior of the World.

As a final caveat for this post, that I will build on for next time, let me share how science has moved from an intuited position to one that became, with new measurement and understanding, the new norm. Originally, it was understood that there were four different fundamental forces of nature (the without): gravity, electromagnetism (responsible for the structure of atoms and molecules) , nuclear weak force (causes beta decay, where a neutron changes into a proton crucial for nuclear reactions in the sun and radiocarbon dating), and nuclear strong force (responsible for holding the nucleus of an atom together). Over time, physicists combined the electromagnetic force with the nuclear weak force. Now, through theories based on supersymmetry (interestingly represented by the circle) they are working to unite additionally, the strong nuclear force leaving only two forces of nature. Now I do know how to count…but now, what scientists hope to prove is that there really is ultimately only one force…or so called The Grand Unified Theories (known as GUTS). Interestingly, the GUTS theory works out mathematically if you add an additional dimension or force…which perhaps humans, who are presently limited to four dimensions (within) haven’t developed enough to comprehend completely, the fifth…which for all intents and purposes is Love…the most powerful source of all. Keep tuned.