Success, the Within and the Without

The above is the first self portrait I did requested by my mentor early on…I updated it a bit, but still kept the rough edges of representing an early work…

I have been dreading this post…circumstantially, it has been physically (although my lungs are finally clearing from the crud), emotionally and materially overwhelming in every regard. And it was within this context that the subject of success, primarily my own, has been hammering in the forefront of my mind (and the incessant chattering of my spirit guide, which more than any other time lately, I even tried to convince myself was a function of my imagination…to no avail). I am a participant in a county wide art show coming up this weekend. That in and of itself is a challenge: finishing pieces, pricing, organization, presentation, packaging, setup utilizing all aspects of advertising and promotion offered to me, etcetera, etcetera all in the context of baring my soul to the general public, many who are perfect strangers, which I find deeply disconcerting. Also, at the same time, the moment came suddenly for “the move” to a safer space for a family member which, being the medical representative, demands my presence in a myriad of ways, from physically approving the space, to the myriad of checks, paperwork and meetings with medical professionals. The move, of course, happens over the same period of time as my show…which fucking sucks, especially since we can’t say anything to her until the last minute. I have to take time off work (the running of our clinic, which also takes a huge chunk of my time) this coming week to join with my sisters and healthcare representatives to break the news just prior to the move and it will not be pretty. Thankfully, I have amazing sisters who have generously given me permission to focus on the show during the actual move and they would do the dirty work, (my son Riley offered to help move the heavy stuff…love you for that, my bebe). They were all so excited to be present with me at this show, but now will sadly be otherwise occupied…leaving me to stand on my own two feet.

The other issue, which is a direct connection to what I described above, were the messages this person hammered into my head from as early as I could remember. Messages like: Don’t shine, you will make everyone else feel bad, Don’t stand out, Don’t be better than, Be quiet, Be invisible, You can’t do that, I won’t allow that, I won’t pay for that, Be this, don’t be that, Who do you think you are, You were built wrong, Respecting me means doing what I say, Being smart is good enough, don’t get greedy, You think you know so much, you’re so arrogant…etc. were axioms that took so much of my time and life to untangle that I was left not only with a skewed view of what my God given talents were, but how I was supposed to use them, actually, of how I am still supposed to use them. This is NOT in any way, shape or form, a mechanism for your pity, that is insulting to me, especially since there are so many others who have risen from more harsh circumstances than mine, It is, however, merely an explanation of how I ended up where I did. As in all our lives, some of the worst points of darkness, offer the greatest opportunities for uncovering a deeper and more beautiful light, and that is how I am trying, amidst great consternation, to look at it. But…as was made clear by all that has been ruminating in my mind and intuition, I still have some dismantling to do with some of the more pervasive messages, namely, it is perfectly acceptable to have been given many different kinds of gifts from God that may make me stand out ahead of the herd and it is time to stop running from them, regardless of how uncomfortable it makes me feel right now. My focus must be on taking the “talents” I’ve been given, like the parable says, and make something of them. I have taken comfort in Teilhard’s definition of success: The slow work of God often involves passing through stages of instability, meaning success requires patience and faith in God’s ultimate plan rather than immediate and measurable results, and how well one acts according to God’s will and participates in the ongoing, creative work of the universe. True success is moving toward a greater awareness of a “higher” state of being where individual spirits converge and unite in love. I have also taken comfort in the words of scripture: love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love. Never. Fails.

I had a sudden and harsh realization amidst all the myriad of emotions this week, that I will never reach a higher state of being, or converge and unite in love unless I face my own fear and worthiness of success. While I cognitively know how capable I am, and talented…I do hide and am comfortable in anonymity, which, according to the parable is tantamount to burying my talents in the ground. (and the very reason this parable has always made me a little sick to my stomach). So, regardless of my natural inclination to be “supportive” rather than be in the lead…it is important, at this point anyway, to prove to myself and “her” that I can be and will be in the forefront of a creative movement, even if only momentary, and that is the lesson at this appointed time. Ironically, the circumstances of the moment only seem to serve as the exact incentive for to me to forge ahead. It is her messages that I bury in the ground, and not my talent…and doing so with just my own two hands and feet seem to be the appropriate way to do so.

The Omega Point and the Theory of Everything

I begin with a piece of jewelry I created for my upcoming show the first weekend in May. I love this piece of ocean jasper, because I see a person wandering forward in a field of flowers…nature is truly amazing. The following post touches on theoretical ideas, so I thought I would begin with the picture above showing you a bit of nature’s magic…so lets jump right in….

According to Wikipedia, a theory of everything (TOE) is an overarching hypothetical coherent theoretical framework of physics that contains all physical principles. The scope of the concept of a “theory of everything” varies. The original technical concept referred to unification of the four fundamental interactions, or forces of nature: electromagnetism, strong and weak nuclear forces and gravity. While yet unproved, it is the subject of many scientists to find one single equation that explains the physics of the universe. But just because it hasn’t been proven yet, simply means, in my mind anyway, that we are not at that point of evolution, or have all the necessary information yet. Albert Einstein learned a painful lesson when he dropped a constant to his equations to ensure a static universe after the expansion of the universe was proven, because modern physics now uses that very concept to explain dark energy. My point here, and you should all breath a sigh of relief, is not to try to go into a physics lesson, but more as a gentle reminder to remain open to where evolution is moving us, embracing that while it may not make sense yet, faith and new information will keep moving us out of “intuited” ideas, into principles that become rooted in reality and giving us the necessary hindsight to keep moving into the unknown.

From the perspective of theology, however, and from my standpoint specifically, we are stuck in the same old, same old, and refuse to look at love as the internal reflection/workings of those same natural powers science is trying so hard to understand and unify. From a theological standpoint, we are obligated to work to see and hear how the “within” of this power (love) continues to express new facets of itself giving us not only a greater understanding of its nature, but leaves us better equipped as to how to wield it. Instead, many religious institutions hammer their faithful with rote recitations of scripture and their literal and uniform interpretations on how “to be” in the world we are living in that deny the very essence of its message. Memorizing scripture and its regurgitation to ‘the faithful’ without the substance and the power of love propelling one to put those words into action is what has made much of the Christian faith, in my humble opinion, as Paul says, a resounding gong, or clanging symbol. It is simply noise with no benefit to anyone except to give them the belief that somehow “following the rules” and the uniformity it demands, they remain in an elite club with a free pass to heaven in the end. Like Physicists working to understand the power that holds this world together, I, along with others, want to understand the “within” of this power, because as the gift of reflective thought has made clear, we are acting in concert with this power as cocreators of our future and are responsible for how it propels us forward toward a final goal, one which Teilhard called “the Omega Point”.

There is a distinct difference in our journey of evolution from all other linear journeys that move through time. All the power necessary to move in the right direction is already present here amidst and amongst us even if we are not completely aware of or can see or hear it fully yet. We, the human element, are the change agent so as we evolve and begin to see and hear with greater depth and understanding, we will also have greater access to this power, called love, which will be as tantamount a discovery as fire was to early humans. And this understanding can’t be rushed; (as Jesus says, neither the angels of heaven or the Son, only the Father in Heaven knows the timing of all of this movement forward) we must have faith in the whispering of the music in our souls that moves us to connect with, by following the blueprint Jesus laid out so carefully for us, others who, like parts of a body, make us so much more than we are alone. It’s important to remember that a heart, while beautiful in its own right, only has function and purpose when connected to other unique parts that comprise a body. We don’t cease to become any less individual, but become demonstrably so much more. That statement helps me understand Jesus words when he said: “For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” Understanding what I do now about God, and love…that means to truly “become” myself, I have to let go of control and let Love control, pulling me into the kinds of connections that will not only sustain me but fulfill my purpose…which I fully admit, even after all this time, I am still just a neophyte, and seem to mess up daily. The good news is that in every failure (and successes, I’m not completely inept), I see and hear the power of love in greater depth and how it augments my human limitations with the heavenly kind. Teilhard explains the deep discovery of self through love like this:

It is through love and within love that we must search for our deepest self, in the life-giving “coming together” of humankind. Love is the free and imaginative outflowing of the spirit over all unexplored paths. It links those who love in bonds that unite, but do not destroy, causing them to discover in their mutual contact an exaltation capable of stirring in the very core of their being all that they possess of uniqueness and creative power. Love alone can unite living beings so as to complete and fulfill them…for it alone joins them by which is deepest in themselves. If love accomplishes on a small scale, in a couple or in the team, the magic feat of a ‘personalizing’ unity, why shouldn’t it repeat this some day on a world wide scale? All we need is to imagine our ability to love developing until it embraces the totality of people on the earth. We usually seem to think that, with the love of a spouse, children, friends or country, a person has exhausted all natural forms of love. Yet, the most basic form of passion has been omitted from this list: ‘cosmic love’. Not only is a universal love psychologically possible, it constitutes the only complete and final way in which we are capable of loving.

To do this, Teilhard tells us we were never meant to do this alone, and reminds us of the first great commandment, that you must love the Lord, your God with all your heart and with all your soul, followed by the second which is to love your neighbor as yourself. The only way for cosmic love to happen, for this deep kind of love to be possible is that it must be co-existent with us right now. If love, or as Teilhard calls it in the context of our evolution, “Omega” were only an ideal or potential, which is to emerge only in a remote future, how could it possibly have any real effect on us today? A present and real super consciousness must have a present and real center. Like physicists who poster ideas we can’t presently prove mathematically, yet, to work toward future proof, so too must we poster ideas about love and move into them with the faith that, based on Jesus’ blueprint. that we are moving in the right direction.

Next time we will talk about the nature of Omega, to which Teilhard says has four attributes rooted in what Jesus laid our for us.

The Within of Language in Science and Religion

I wrote and taught a class for high school students called “Science and Religion” more than 30 years ago. While challenging, it was popular, especially since I enlisted teachers from the math and science department to help give validity to the claims presented (and for one, in particular, became a mind-blowing experience…thank you very much). I begin this post with a few quotes that were included in the study guide by important scientists, followed by two quotes from Christian Scripture to set the foundation.

The rapturous amazement at the harmony of natural law, which reveals an intelligence of such superiority that, compared with it, all the systematic thinking and acting of human beings is an utterly insignificant reflection. Albert Einstein.

Isolated material particles are abstractions, their properties being definable and observable only through interaction with other systems. Niels Bohr

In the absence of the observer, an atom is a ghost, and that the universe is not a collection of physical objects, but a complicated web of relations between various parts of a unified whole. Quantum theorists

But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you that you may be children of your heavenly Father, for he makes his sun rise on the bad and the good, and causes rain to fall on the just and the unjust. Matthew 5:44-45

As a body is one though it has many parts, and all the parts of the body, though many, are one body, so also Christ. For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body, whether Jews or Greeks, slaves or free persons, and we were all given to drink of one Spirit. Now the body is not a single part, but many. 1 Corinthians 12: 12-14

After I did a brief introduction of Teilhard de Chardin, (which I’ve already done here), I told my students that as we progressed in the course, I would approach the world of “Science” as the expression of creation’s “without”, and the world of “Religion” as the expression of creation’s “within”. I then asked them to look at these two disciplines as basically two sides of the same coin, each a different look, or expression, but linked in a way that gives truth to each only in consideration of the other. I was impressed with how quick and amazing these students were and how much they added to the dimensions of this course.

While I don’t plan on going through the whole course here…I did want to jump to a point in the course that excited everyone. Joseph Campbell, a famous anthropologist and mythologist said: “that mythology is not an ideology (ideas created by humans) it is not something projected by the brain, but something experienced by the heart, from recognitions and identities behind or within the appearance of nature, and seeing life as a ‘thou’ (relationship) where it otherwise would be an ‘it’ (object)”. Imbedded in many religions, a deeper meaning exists which correlates to scientific expression and meaning. For example, we discussed how numbers played an intuitive and abstract presence in religious stories in multiple religions. Here are a few of examples:

To Hindus, the cycle of time was called a kali-yuga and it lasted 432,000 years–a great cycle from the big bang to the end times is 4,320,000 years.

To Icelandic Eddas, the day of the Wolf (end of an age) would occur when 800 warriors would pass through 540 doors and engage in the antigods in battle in the warrior hall of Voholl. 800×540=432,000.

In Vedic astrology, the Vendanga Jyotisha a sacred Sanskrit text, notes a 27 hour cosmic day related to the lunar mansions (Nakshatras), which aligns with this numerical system (27, 54, 108, 216, 432).

To the Egyptian, Sumerians and the Greeks, special vibration frequencies were considered sacred…432 stands for the natural cycles of the earth and cosmos.

Pythagoras, who studied the mathematical relationships between numbers and tones, believed the 432 Hz was superior to the standard 440Hz because it is in harmony with the human body, nature and universe.

In Revelations 144,000 will be marked with the seal as a sign of a servant of the triune God (Father, Son, Spirit) 144,000×3 (the sacred number of the trinity) is 432,000.

I have also spoken of this before in other posts, but the golden proportion or golden ratio (depicted above in Davinci’s Vitruvian Man, is a mathematical ratio of 1:1.6 which is represented by the Greek letter Phi, creates aesthetically pleasing and harmonious proportions used in art, architecture and is frequently seen in nature as well. In experiments, when asked to place a crossbar on a line, most frequently it is placed at that exact ratio. Bully for built in harmony…

Now, I don’t believe any of this is at all coincidence, nor can I delve into what it all means, because I don’t think we, as humans, are ready to comprehend it all…yet. I do, however, believe that it is evidence of God revealing the song of creation and embedding that omnipotent melody into our path forward. I also think that there is indeed a method to the madness in our evolution, of which we will all participate in its ultimate conclusion. And, so not to leave us limited and en masse on our own, God entered human history and in every sense of the Word the gospel writer John wrote of (quote below), made it possible for all of us to move forward by laying out the blueprint to do so through the Son, Jesus, who fully human and fully divine, sacrificed his life for ours, and made it inevitable, if we so choose, to reach creations culmination, the Kingdom of Heaven. And the only way we can do that is by the power of LOVE.


In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things came to be through him, and without him nothing came to be. What came to be through him was life, and this life was the light of the human race; the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it