Love and Wolves…who don’t need sheep’s clothing anymore.

wolfe in sheeps clothing

Geez, this is a trying year. I would think talking about my training to wield love would inspire people…obviously it seems to make some people uncomfortable and the source of some judgey behavior. I thought it was obvious that this was my personal journey…MINE, and so right from the start let me just say that I have completely embraced this training and it is my journey and no one else’s. So far, I think its been extremely beneficial, I’ve learned a lot, suffered a lot, and become a much better person. I will say that the last three years has led me to this simple, yet profound understanding: love isn’t conditioned on anything but acting on it, embracing it, and extending it outward, with no expectations or conditions. It’s expression is unique to the individual, and undefined except for simple and yet powerful criterion I’ve followed from 1 Corinthians 13: it is patient, it is kind, it isn’t full of envy, it isn’t arrogant or proud, it isn’t rude and doesn’t seek it’s own interests, it is slow to anger and does not brood over injury (some versions say evil), it doesn’t rejoice in wrongdoing but with the truth, it bears all things, hopes all things and endures all things. It never fails. It is the opposite of fear.

Love is also the measure by which we should see and recognize with clarity those in the world who claim to wield love and follow Christ, but only seem to confuse or confound what his teachings are really about. Love is the means by which these wolves are exposed. We are also taught in scripture that wielding love always bears fruit, and is by the fruits of love that the path through the narrow gate becomes clear:

“Do to others whatever you would have them do to you. This is the law and the prophets. “Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the road broad that leads to destruction, and those who enter through it are many. How narrow the gate and constricted the road that leads to life. And those who find it are few. “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but underneath are ravenous wolves. By their fruits you will know them. Do people pick grapes from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles? Just so, every good tree bears good fruit, and a rotten tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a rotten tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire. So by their fruits you will know them

And it seems that the wolves out there today don’t even bother hiding under a sheep’s clothing, they walk freely and shout what you see isn’t what you see, what is true is really false, and behave in ways that are contrary to all love’s criterion. It is when truth and love become contorted and absorbed into a personal dictum that great divides occur and unity falters. No good fruit can come of it. And no good fruit can occur when all those criterion listed above are disregarded as unnecessary or weak. Love is wielded when we treat others as we want to be treated, period, even those we choose to see as wolves. I say choose to see, because I have learned in my training that what we see is always colored by our own personal perceptions. And because perceptions are limited and often not based in fact, I am even more committed to being diligent about uncovering truth and making my actions speak louder than any words ever could. Words are often the source of misunderstanding, but wielding love is so much harder to misconstrue. I’ve also said that wielding love by no means infers that we will simply “be nice”. Solomon in the Old Testament declares that: “stern as death is love…its flames are a blazing fire.” There are still great wrongs occurring in the world that must be righted, but it how we address them and proceed forward that makes the difference. Calling out injustice and fending off the wolves can still be done according to the necessary precepts

I do still question why in the face of so much corruption there are so many who refuse to open their eyes to see and their ears to hear at the bare minimum to avoid any path of destruction and avoid it like the plague. It is never about who is right and who is wrong, (I tend to fall into that rut), but rather seeing clearly the behavior that is required of us and whether or not it bears fruit. I choose to seek with clarity and love, and as the prophet Micah says: do right, love goodness and walk humbly with God.

Love and Vengeance

“Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord, I will repay” is an important theme in the Old and New testaments…and one in my own life as well. I once wrote a paper in law school entitled, “Vengeance is mine saith the law, it will repay” My professor rolled her eyes when she saw the title, but changed her tune after she read it (I got an “A”). The point of my paper, from a theologian’s perspective was to render what is God’s to God, and to Caesar what is Caesar’s. The bottom line, was that if you are going to be a person of faith, then, as scripture states many times, leave vengeance to God. If you are an American citizen where freedom is recognized as an unalienable right then vengeance is in the hands of our legal system which is set up to protect those freedoms, even in the face of a criminal act. I know, I know, we don’t live in a perfect world…there are unjust laws, and as for faith…its hard to let go of the hurt, unfairness and cruelty of this world. The tenor of our hate filled world is a sorry reminder of that. As one who harnesses and wields of love, though, vengeance can never be a driving force.

For Christians, Jesus speaks about forgiveness, loving your enemy, praying for those who persecute you, etc., etc. My time on this earth is too short to waste it worrying about who is going to get their just desserts. I used to be that person crying over the injustice in the world and it ate me alive (which is not the same thing as working for justice). It’s just a waste of emotion. If we trust that God has our backs, and that whatever you put out into the world will come back to you tenfold…then the exercise of letting go and letting God is instrumental in effectively harnessing love. I’m not suggesting passivity, not at all. Fighting for justice is also fundamental to my faith…but there is a powerful distinction between energizing a fight for love and justice because you believe an omnipotent God has our backs and will trust those precepts that are fundamental to that faith and the energy of a fight that obliterates the “enemy” because they think they can do a better job than God or believe that have been enlisted by God to hate another or it just feels good in the moment. Regarding Caesar’s world, we can’t revere the rule of law and then seek vengeance by disregarding it and manipulating it when it doesn’t give us the result we want. When we stand against all the negativity and hatred in the world, it has to be done with the belief that everyone, even those we see as enemies at the moment stands to benefit from wielding love.

As any person of faith, there is an expectation of certain behaviors that are in alignment with the central tenets of that faith. As a citizen of this country, there are also certain expectations of behavior as well. Melding the two together is a natural struggle to be sure, but wielding love whether it be for God, country or both can’t be done by bean counting those that break both sets of laws. That is why I struggle so deeply with the present situation in this world. People are far too eager to justify their vengeance against their “enemy” because they happen to think they are on the right team and believe the notion that anyone who doesn’t believe like they do are the enemy. Its exhausting, and stands in direct opposition to what it means to wield love in the world. Like it or not, America includes many “teams” and Christianity commands that we love one another…even our enemies. Vengeance has no place in either.

I will be the first to admit that there are days when I want to hate everybody. Part of love’s training is to be aware of and work through these weaknesses constantly. I am not always a compliant student, but I am getting better. It is often the hardest part of my training…to wield love to those who demonstrably relish in the us against them fight, or judging others as lessor than, or bullying and name calling, or those who lie or are violent or are all of the above, the list goes on and on. The truth of the matter is that we are all human and I’m sure there are those out there who wish vengeance on me by wishing me ill, judging me and calling me names…and I may not even be aware of it. I know my heart, but others may not, which may mean attributing to me qualities I don’t think I deserve, and I know I have, at times, done the same thing to others. I’ve stopped allowing the world to define or weaken me by those judgments, especially when the world is in such desperate need of love which also means bringing my heart to the forefront for everyone to see, and that is not easy…because the world can be a cruel and unfair place after all. And yet it is because I have faith in a God that has my back and augments my vulnerable heart with a greater one that vengeance plays no part in my journey. It is a burden I don’t want or need anymore. So I wield love and celebrate those that do the same in the world. The other problem with vengeance is that it take our focus away from the people who should be celebrated for all the love they share.

Every day I say the phrase “I choose” in my head, whether it is to control my vapid tongue or expose my heart…it is my¬†choice. I make the conscious choice to wield my love in the best way I can. I choose love, not vengeance.

 

Love and Sacrifice

So yeah, the trials continue…this time it’s not cars, boils, subzero windchill, or money…its mother nature. We’ve had a whole winter’s worth of snow in four weeks, about 40 inches of snow. I’ve always thought that living up here in the great white north keeps out the riffraff, that you have to be built of sturdy stuff to with stand the winters here…in the hope that it would also help build strength, character and a sense of humor. There is something to be said about gearing up for subzero temps, shoveling out so I can actually get my car out of the garage and face the treacherous black iced roads even before I get to work and start my day. It’s easy to whine about it, commiserate and share weather related horror stories, but it’s also an opportunity to share stories of people helping each other out, whether it is shoveling, starting a car, helping someone who is stuck etc. It is in these small sacrifices that we strengthen our ability to wield love in a world in desperate need of it.

The amount of snow seems to have slowed everything down enough to give me pause to focus on the sacrifices that love demands of us every day. Some are easy for me, extending a helping hand, or listening, and giving support, and putting other’s needs above my own. Some are hard, like trusting someone to put my needs above theirs when I am so depleted I don’t have much at the time to give, being vulnerable to accept help and while its hard to admit…making sacrifices to those outside my circle who I feel don’t deserve it, but I am obligated to help because of the golden rule I chose to follow: treat others the way that you want to be treated. I feel that simple axiom hones our ability to wield love: to accept the sacrifices that others make for me with love and to sacrifice in the name of love for others. The challenging circumstances of weather, money and physical challenges only stand to purify that sacrifice because it becomes more intentional. To sacrifice in the name of love in spite of challenges only makes us stronger.

Love and the Book of Job

So, I guess the training on how to wield the power of love has begun…with the year of a thousand cuts. By all accounts, I don’t tend to over react to life’s foibles, I’m more likely to turn them into a good story, but so far this year? I swear Beelzebub is trying to trip me up with, well there is no other word but shit (which I also stepped in, by the way). From cleaning vomit out of my husband’s car when a never before attack of vertigo seized him while driving (no flu or illness inspired), my car not going out of second gear, the front door of our clinic not opening (forcing us to replace the knob) my bed breaking in the middle of the night (3 a.m.), “someone” losing my car keys, replacing a faucet that stopped giving us cold water, bank deposits mysteriously delayed for no apparent reason and some more delicate ones that I can’t add to protect the innocent…and these are only from this week! I found myself holding my breath in anticipation of the next crisis.

While these events may seem innocuous in the face of terrible tragedies that occur every day, I maintain it’s these kinds of events that literally grab focus away from the good I could be doing and just wear me down (and I’m assuming many feel the same way I do). Things that I normally brush off seem so much bigger and crueler and in a way limit my ability to wield love in the world. Questions like, “am I being punished?” “am I just that unlucky?” and the far more irrational ones like, “is Satan lurking around here somewhere?” “am I being plagued because I’m championing love this year?” It is the compounding of these events and the bad attitude that I take that send ripple effects outward to others and voila the love quotient goes down. I went back to read some the book of Job in the Old Testament, it is involves much of the same phenomenon. The Devil bets God that he can take a wonderful, happy, successful and loving servant of God (Job), and turn him by plaguing him with all sorts of irritants. Those who surround Job try and convince him that it must have been something he had done or God wouldn’t be punishing him…still Job doesn’t lose faith. When he begins to waver, God storms in and demands answers to those who seen to know the mind of God when they fail to answer, God sets them straight…some things are just beyond our comprehension. The good news is that lesson learned, Job goes on to live a blessed life.

Wielding and harnessing love requires that we get rid of the notion that when bad things happen we are being punished by a vengeful and puritanical God. Those kind of beliefs bring out the worst in us: guilt, shame, fear, blame, mistrust, hatred, etc. And those beliefs also cause ripple effects by affecting other people who then create their own ripple effects and before you know it the whole world is in crisis and crippled to handle major crises when they actually happen. I felt like my task during this shit-storm of irritating events was to: 1) try and see the humor in it (cleaning out the vomit from my husband’s car, I was laughing hysterically when I pulled his phone out from under it all…Q-tips are amazing) and 2) not extend my irritation to other people, hence the ripple effect. I tried, with limited success to consciously fight the darkness that irritants bring with love creating a positive ripple effect that perhaps would help someone else who is facing their own personal shit storm (most of the time with laughter and a good story). While I may have simplified the situation a bit, I think the lesson I learned is the most important foundation in my year of love: that wielding love takes training, discipline, faith and the willingness to put into action the promised of scripture, which demands that we love God, ourselves and others regardless of vomit, lost keys, broken beds, doors, faucets, and shit.