Here is the next half hour…it doesn’t look much better, yet.
Do you ever feel that if only you had received the necessary information at the time you could have saved yourself a lot of emotional angst and struggle? That describes my feeling in the moment…and yet I completely understand that if that said information would have been laid out for me in a complete picture diorama at the time, I wouldn’t see things the same way as I do now…which is a good thing, I’ve decided. It appears, that I missed plenty of signs, validation, glaringly obvious messages leaving me feeling pretty dense for someone who claims to be a pretty acute observer in the world. In the moment, I felt a bit foolish and embarrassed, until I realized that God’s/love’s timing is definitely not my timing. So, I am choosing to believe that my delayed awareness was intentional, to give me time to get out of my own way, out of my own head and not run for the hills in complete panic. It was a particularly unexpected lesson in letting go of control, asking for help and clarification and then allowing God/love, to help me see what I was missing. When I let go of control, (and I am not saying become a puppet) because I had clearly hit a wall and was stuck in the stalemate of my mind…I focused on all I have learned recently, and the past I’ve let go of, and focused on everything that love promises, and suddenly, the blockades came down, and the path ahead suddenly seems clearer, which, I guess, carries its own set of problems…namely there are no more excuses, its time to start moving and let go of the worry that some how I will fuck this up…which, at this juncture is pretty much impossible…the new information sealed the deal for me. I just need to adjust the rhythm of my life now and move according to a different timing, which isn’t as easy as I thought it would be. Having the freedom of movement is wonderful…but new choreography, especially when you’re not the only one dancing, still takes practice.
I also read what Jesus says about worry:
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat (or drink), or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they? Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span? Why are you anxious about clothes? Learn from the way the wild flowers grow. They do not work or spin. But I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was clothed like one of them. If God so clothes the grass of the field, which grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith? So do not worry and say, ‘What are we to eat?’ or ‘What are we to drink?’ or ‘What are we to wear?’ All these things the pagans seek. Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom (of God) and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides. Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil
Today, I am a bird, a flower in a grassy field in all its splendor…I have all I need.
Here I am, flaws and all, once again extremely unfiltered and disheveled after a long night of sleeping only an hour or two at a time and yet I feel such deep contentment because I am able to walk around my kitchen/ bedroom and other small spaces for short periods of time without my cane. My surgery was a week ago at exactly at this time and the tired smile on my face is a genuine reflection that I am indeed the valedictorian of recovery and have earned those bragging rights. I’ve earned them not only because I put in the effort, listened and trusted those experts who assisted me and followed every protocol, (and I know there are many others who have this surgery and have done well too…I am not remarkable in that), however, I will make this distinction; I am at this place because my physical recovery is the exact manifestation and validation of all the internal work I’ve been doing thus far embracing and allowing cosmic love to surround and move me forward completely. The power of love is the game changer. This surgery is so different than the last time, and while the initial conditions are always diverse and innumerable, I know at my core…love is the reason that changed the game for me, and while the specifics are personal to me, I just wanted to declare that out into the world, the result of which will make my small ripples into waves of light and love into the future.
Teilhard said:
A glow ripples outward from the first spark of conscious reflection. The point of ignition grows larger. The fire spreads in ever widening circles till finally the whole planet is covered with incandescence.
This is a bit how I feel right now. Of course I am aware that I might be in the throws of the kind of giddiness that comes with being able to walk straight and smooth again, (and no it is not the pain medication, which I only had to take once at day 3) so what follows may be even more challenging, but, and I say this cautiously, I am the cumulative result of all that has gone before and my arsenal has grown steadily as a result. My mind is full of ideas, opportunities, business plans and such a deep desire to utilize the fruits of my gifts to benefit the planet and the beautiful blueprints who are also here to save it. I also want to take this moment to say to those who cross my path every day and especially to those I have tamed and who have tamed me…you are the game changer and proof that love is taking hold of our world and will forever give me the strength I need to stand up to darkness and do my part to bear good fruit into the world. I pray we all continue to follow the rules of cosmic love:
If I speak in human and angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal. And if I have the gift of prophecy and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge; if I have all faith so as to move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, (love) is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
The above photo was taken on the way to surgery two days ago…the sunrise was beautiful, and I took it as a message that God was with me and had my back for what was to come.
I’m back for a quick update…Surgery done, new hip installed, and I am indeed, the valedictorian of recovery. During the week prior, I spent time doing all the pre-surgery protocols and appointments that, while they went great, left me in the throws of anxiety. Control was entirely in the hands of other people, and that is hard for me (others too…I know I am not alone in this). What I dreamed about often and what was all encompassing in my mind was the idea of how my injured hip, its damage and the pull and effect it had on the music in my soul and my dance in the world became the perfect metaphor for how limited we become in developing our blueprints in the physical world by those damaging circumstances we all have to face every day. I literally could not dance my dance or hear the music beginning to emerge in my soul clearly anymore because it was time to acknowledge what wasn’t working and fix it. This new hip, was to become for me, a new opportunity to hear the music in my head more clearly and now have the freedom to physically dance my dance. The spiritual part, though, was harder. It also meant that I had to release the damaged parts of my past that also limited my movement forward, meaning releasing all those people and behaviors that unnecessarily altered my physical journey as well. I apologize if I’m not being too clear, but at this point in my year of living on a higher plane, the physical world and the spiritual world are inseparable. So if I am to welcome new physical freedom I have to simultaneously welcome the same spiritual freedom too…and that means letting go of the spiritual damage that was limiting me just like my damaged hip was limiting me.
My surgery took place on Tuesday, (two days ago). I am already walking with a cane, doing stairs and am working hard doing exercises with an attitude of love as a welcome from my body to the new “part” to enhance my journey. I also decided to spiritually celebrate all those who were there for me during this process with love and gratitude as I released all the isolation I felt last time. To start, I want to thank those that helped me at Westfield Hospital: Megan, Michaela, Matthew, April, Nick, Avery, Dr Weiss and his team, Kenzie, Brittani, Hunter, Rinee, Tammie, Will, Kay, Nida, Jud, and Lynn who were present, loving and helpful throughout this ordeal. Healthcare workers never get enough credit for the level of amazing and often unsung work they do in the healing process. I had many lovely conversations getting to know these people, most were surprised that I actually asked their names and seemed interested in their lives. I always responded that it made it so much easier for me to utilize their help when I got a sense of who they were, and all were open and marvelous. I hate being in a hospital and was glad it was only overnight. Interestingly in one of my conversations with my case worker Lynn, she asked me what I did and when I told her I was a painter and showed her some of my work, she was moved and them came back later to share that she had contacted the Phipps center for the Arts at the University of Wisconsin River Falls who does the hospitals art on their gallery walls and it looks like I will display there too. What a great opportunity to bring the joy of art to the healing process. The new dance has begun.
The next few weeks will be filled with a different kind of effort, the changing of my dance. While the physical part manifests as overcoming the pain of such a dramatic physical alteration, for me it is a welcome pain, one that offers a freedom I have sorely missed. The spiritual part is more challenging, because behavioral change is hard, but I’m going to be the valedictorian of spiritual recovery as well. Yesterday, when I got home from the hospital (thank you my bebe Riley for picking me up) my sister texted and let me know my mother had fallen and cracked ribs. They are having her rest and managing her pain. You know what? I felt nothing, and was glad she was safe and sent a prayer of recovery for her…a huge landmark for me. There were also several “issues” of work and real world stuff that I either handled or let go for another day…and focused on myself, for once. It was good.
I want to end this rambling (I am still on medication…which I hate, but they limited upon my request, to which I am grateful) with how much appreciation I have to those trajectories, to those I love who sent me love…I felt it overwhelmingly and it was central in helping me make it through this experience easily. The hard part is over, I am on the mend and open to receive all that is coming my way. I am thankful and ready to dance into my new future.
The above photo is a picture of a black hole I got from the NASA website. I figured it was apropos for this post because I am going to get a bit esoteric, which makes me grossly uncomfortable. This may seem a bit counterintuitive, for a person like me, given my chosen path and all that is presented here. I am, however, a pragmatist at heart and never would have continued to devote myself to this journey, if along the way I found no empirical evidence for what I am proposing here: my continued belief that cosmic love can and will save us all. I have recorded, throughout the years, exploits of challenging constructs as well as facing my own challenges to the ideals and axioms that have become the foundation to me moving forward. While pretty comfortable after all this time with the belief that I am on the right track…it appears that another break through was in order regarding the fundamentals of my/our present reality. Mind you, this is exactly what I am praying for all the time, to be a spiritual explorer, ready to face the unknown and soar to greater heights and yeah, I know, after all this time I should know better that what I think I am praying for may turn me on my head…and it did.
After a particularly daunting day, where up is down and down is up…and nothing made sense, especially the new concepts that I am working to wrap my head around, a functioning Noosphere, and its applicable and empirical relationship to the physical world, I was completely spent. It’s still a bit too theoretical for me and I was really getting confused about what was illusory, and what was real leaving me to wonder, then, how I was supposed to apply uniting the “within” to the “without” of the physical world in a pragmatic way. What followed was the reminder that I spent an inordinate amount of time along this journey releasing ideas, rules, permissions that no longer served the information I was uncovering and discovering right now, and yet I got the distinct impression I was still holding onto to some of those antiquated ideas and behaviors. And perhaps because I needed a crash course, I believe I was intentionally plunged into a darkness so deep, that I have never felt, like ever, along with the clear message that I had absolutely no control in this situation except to utilize “the Noosphere” and reach out to love there who would have all the control. Usually the colors and interactions I experience in my mind’s eye are amazing, but instantaneously that was turned into silence and blackness. It was terrifying and my first thought was that I was doomed…which was devastating, especially perhaps, because I was afraid that my gut reaction was a truer reflection of what little faith I had in my own hypotheses, which just added to the awfulness of the situation. In the deep dark, I did try to breath and remember that I was exploring unknown territory here, a road never travelled (at least by me, anyway), so I said these words I remembered when studying world religions: “from the mud the lotus grows”. So, as much as possible in my mind/heart/soul I sunk into the mud and let love take control.
With all my senses closed off, The only solace I got in this immovable darkness was a whisper from my spirit guide to remember that love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things…love never fails, so reach out with your heart to the love which you cannot see, but can feel, for until you relinquish control to the love that exists on this higher plane, you cannot move forward. The next 24 hours were, well, a new experience for me…and slowly the darkness dissipated into greyness then to whiteness. While I’m still not sure what it all means because the movement from dark to light didn’t present a picture of anything…I did feel and was moved forward by love. I know it wasn’t a figment of my imagination either because afterwards, I could tell that I functionally began to interact with the world differently because the change had come from the outside in. The details are personal, but I guess I was surprised to learn how much control I thought I needed in my life and the idea of losing it was terrifying but was also what kept me from moving forward. At this point I do believe that “control” is the biggest illusion of all. While it is true we do control how we respond to our own personal set of circumstances, the belief that we have control over them and the particulars of our future is folly…there are just too many initial and continuing conditions we face that obliterate that idea. I am reminded that God answers all prayers asked in goodness, and to trust that in every situation, even those where it appears that our prayers are falling on deaf ears, Love has all the information that we do not, and requires us to have faith our prayers are being answered, especially in these moments. Releasing my control and trusting in cosmic love has opened a new door to unknown territory and I take up the challenge to explore where it takes me even if that road looks completely unexpected and unfamiliar. I am equipped with everything I need and it is my job to trust and believe in cosmic love that moves me forward.
A final thought…I had a dream last night where I picked pomegranate seeds, currants, grapes and shredded pink carrots out of a bowl at a banquet and placed them into a bowl of thick cream for a wonderful treat…
Here is a new painting I’m working on of a young east Indian girl selling balloons. The balloons are the only thing that will be painted in color, the rest is in grey scale…which is a perfect representation of today’s post, the colors of which are still unclear to me.
When Teilhard speaks of “cosmic love”, he is speaking of a real, physical energy of attraction that is binding the universe together. It is the driving force that is pulling all creation toward a unified divine state called the Omega Point. He also personalizes it by saying that love is not just a human emotion, but is a basic and foundational property of the universe. Just as gravity draws physical bodies together, cosmic love is the internal “within” or expression that draws human beings into a deeper connection. As separate parts of the universe feel an affinity for one another, it draws them into deeper connection. It ensures that creation does not fall apart into chaos, but instead grows more conscious and personal and creates higher levels of complexity and awareness. From my standpoint on this journey, I do see this happening all around me. Cosmic love is being manifested in powerful ways, of which I am a willing participant, and it is from this viewpoint that my journey is directed forward…until I was stopped dead in my tracks (and I shouldn’t be surprised, since just when I think I have a handle on “things” I am stopped and presented with another perspective).
The perspective I received is this: walking on a higher plane, with the clear understanding that we are all connected, also means extending ourselves both physically and spiritually as a utility, i.e. acting as a source of keeping extra power in reserve to extend or use when needed, especially when demand is high. While it is my understanding and deep belief that the power of love is an all encompassing, inexhaustible, and inextinguishable source of power and renewable energy, humans who act as a utility are not, our power and physicality is finite. There is this great line from “the Lord of the Rings”, where an aged Bilbo Baggins explains this concept clearly: “Why, I feel all thin, sort of stretched, if you know what I mean: like butter that has been scraped over too much bread”. It is such a simple and yet apt expression of how I am feeling at the moment: simultaneously enthused with all I’m learning, proud of risks I’m taking, and the happiness that comes with who I am taking this journey with, and yet at the same time I feel like a battery whose utility is spent. I think it is because in order to utilize cosmic love it must include both extending and receiving it like an electrical charge does that transforms the energy in quartz making it vibrate inside a watch to keep accurate time. Giving and receiving are inherent qualities of cosmic love, one cannot exist without the other and I forget about the receiving part a lot. While giving cosmic love is an unequivocal unlimited endeavor, receiving it is not, and while I’m not sure quite how yet, I did learn a few things yesterday that clarify what kind of energy transforms the receiving end of cosmic love and what does not.
Yesterday was my artist’s meet and greet. I wasn’t afraid or uncomfortable, which surprised me a bit…but I didn’t like it either, The interaction of explaining how I started over and over seemed a waste of time…it was already in the bio I provided that was on the wall with the drawings/paintings for everyone to read. While I genuinely appreciated kind words about my talent, I wanted my art to speak for itself and find out what they saw when they looked at each piece, and perhaps inspire them to appreciate the beauty in people from all walks of life in the future and also tap into their own undiscovered gifts. What made me uncomfortable, nervous even, is that putting the focus on “me” as a utility, somehow changed the energy of the cosmic love I put into the art, that somehow I was different from them, and that is what felt draining. There is a difference in receiving adulation from someone who doesn’t even know me and appreciating the illumination that comes from what I produced…and there were both kinds of people that day. The latter felt like a kinship, the former, well, it just felt draining. I do get nervous about what is to come in the future, and I wish I could put into words what I mean by that, but right now I just can’t articulate it.
Kinship and connection restores my utility, adulation drains it. I’m not happy with the word choice here because it sounds so worshippy, (and I am aware that I am but a drop in this cosmic bucket) but as I explained to someone recently how much I needed love to survive this, I was just as ill-equipped in the moment, to ask for and receive it. The giving of love unequivocally has never been the problem for me because I have such strong faith in the inherent gifts of those who I send love to, but in order to recharge and renew this inexhaustible source of cosmic love, receiving real love, and not the kind offered in a sycophantic, manipulative, or self deprecating kind of way is an absolute necessity. While it may still may appear in my line of sight as greyscale, I am hoping this is simply what comes when moving into unknown territory…and the color will come to me eventually as my understanding grows.
I decided to use the plainest, most unmade, end of day photo as a representation of my own rising and converging…especially challenging given how much I loath them.
The above quote is from Teilhard de Chardin, (although Flannery O’Connor used it famously, for a title of her short stories). Essentially, he proposed in his evolutionary theology that regardless of the path chosen, (he focused on science and religion), if people ultimately strive for truth and love, their paths will inevitably intersect and together be united in God, in Love, or as Teilhard calls it, “the Omega Point”. It is also why I am shifting from a just a horizontal perspective to include a vertical one. While still pushing the boundaries of reality by walking on water where we all can learn a new sense of balance, I also offer, simultaneously, that we push the boundaries “upward” as well, in defiance of the weight that human constrictions have unreasonably held upon those of us who are unsatisfied with the status quo, and have kept us from “rising” and evolving beyond traditional limits. Both add a perspective that no one can truly appreciate or even see unless they’ve made the effort…and I mean that as clearly and plainly as possible, not in a judgmental way…but a stating the obvious kind of way. This is one vantage point that cannot be faked, forged, declared, bought or appropriated regardless of the kind worldly power you think you have. From my faith (and I would heartfully acknowledge other faiths as well) it is a physical, mental and spiritual journey initiated and facilitated by an omnipotent God. For me, a Christian, I feel I have the added benefit of the gift of grace offered freely to anyone who is willing to embrace the sacrifice of Christ, and not in the “I accept him as my savior” kind of way and then live life according to whatever rules serve you specifically, but because you live according to the rules laid out by Jesus during his fairly short ministry otherwise its all just noise. It isn’t for the faint of heart either, it takes hope, faith, endurance and the belief that we can’t fail, because God won’t allow it…it requires all the requisites of any great physical challenge but also the same requisites of love to move us forward to the place Teilhard speaks of. It demands the suspension of human conventions and also demands relinquishing our personal will for the will of the most powerful force of in the universe…Love. I also think there is a point along the journey, where we become less myopic about our own journeys and look up and around to see that we are not alone, that there are others who have also embraced the rising and will walk with us forward. I am, in particular, happy about this because I’ve felt alone too long, and I really need support and encouragement when moments of darkness and past patterns sneak past my defenses and impede my progress. For those who’ve shown up for me, I am forever grateful and you have my unequivocal love. The road is open, the promises made are real, the future is full of hope.
That doesn’t mean that moving forward is easy peasy. There are trials now, and trials ahead. Darkness abhors the light, and we all must commit to shining ours brightly. Even today, when I think about “rising” I am faced with how our beautiful planet is struggling. Here where I live, we are in an air quality alert because of the wild fires up in Canada and in the Boundary Waters in Northern Minnesota. The amount of haze and fog and “burnt” smell is clear evidence that we are not taking care of our beautiful planet, the only means by which human beings have a chance of evolution and survival. If our planet dies…so do we. There is much work to do and it won’t be easy. We can, however, with the power of love, unite together and do what is necessary to continue to rise and converge..
I’ve been thinking about this poem by Robert Frost a lot lately. It is one of the first poems that I was introduced to in a great books program in elementary school. I saw myself then as a road less travelled girl, one who wanted to see things for the first time instead of following the masses. It also reminds me why I always wanted to be independent, embrace my curious nature and tackle the unknown, and become an adventurer, of sorts…hence all my exploits, both physical and spiritual. But as I look back…my choices were often more rooted in escaping the restrictions my world at the time had imposed upon me. I came to realize that running away from something isn’t the same as choosing something purposefully. Thankfully, I had a little divine help to guide me back toward more purposeful meanderings when I had no idea where to go, and had the foresight to ask for help (and an overpowering voice in my head that wouldn’t let up until I did). Slowly, especially along my journey here, as I embraced clarity and released illusions, opened my eyes and ears and broadened my perspective, and focused on love, truth, leadership, hope, how to be joyful and push the limits on faith, the road less travelled has lead me here to this higher plane. I also learned to trust myself and my instincts whenever life presented situations where I had to decide who and what to trust and when to say yes, that works for me and when to say no, that doesn’t work for me and move on. When I look around at where I am standing now on this higher plane, it is much higher up than I ever thought, because my focus on this journey was always on what was presented on the path directly in front of me at the time where the effort was so continuous and consistent that the incline didn’t feel noticeably all that steep. Now when I look around I see where all the uphill work has brought me; an elevation high enough to see not only the flatter paths below me, but more of what lies ahead, and that view is very encouraging.
The multitude of paths below I see create a three dimensional world, one that is good, regardless of how well travelled they are. There are also dark and barren areas where the paths stop or decay, but that is an observation for another time. What I see from this vantage point is how all the paths below intertwine with each other creating a network of humanity and culture…and that is a good thing and gives me hope. When I look forward, however, I also see multiple paths less travelled aligning or merging together making this journey of mine wider and directed toward a common goal. What is most comforting and exciting for me at the moment, is to let go of the idea that I have to be alone on this less travelled path. I see now that there are a plethora of others who are moving in the same direction as I am, guided by love and the commitment to bring our full blueprints to fruition, and I am so looking forward to learning from all your perspectives to expand my own. The New Testament is focused on the like minded uniting together and supporting each other as well, and I anticipate meeting so many new people, just as Teilhard foretold, where the intuited world embraces and manifests in the physical one and for the second time in the history of the world we discover fire, the fire of love.
I would like to end with a caveat…When I speak of being on higher ground and having a vantage point of seeing paths below, I am shifting to living on a higher plane more as “up” rather than simply being “out” on the water…that is intentional. I am not saying in any way that my placing is any way hierarchical, or “better than”… because I’m not saying that at all. What I am saying, however, is that I did the work, often with great effort and commitment and the results of that effort brought me to where I am standing right now…and I will never apologize for that. I earned this vantage point, which is a very unique one for that matter,. There are plenty of others who chose an easier path, and I take no issue with that, as Paul says when he speaks about the different gifts necessary in building the body of Christ. I always wanted to push the limits of present reality and make the most out of every adventure, that has always been my prayer and I believe to the depth of my soul that that prayer was and will continue to be answered. And as evolution pushes us all forward, I will continue to be the God of Love’s whisperer, sharing all that I learn through words and art, regardless of how it sounds to anyone else…time will tell, I suppose, and I am fine with that too. To those of you who have put in the effort of forging new untraveled paths, you know my words are true and consistent and I will continue to pray for you and send you love. Love is the way…the only way we can all reach our destinations, and I plan on helping to lead the way in any way the God of Love deems appropriate for me. I also promise to those I send love to, that will I strive to become an even stronger conduit for you all to become shining lights to the world.
It is that time of year again…I made it yet another cycle around the sun, although this last year was packed with, well, more than anything I’ve experienced on this journey I’ve travelled so far combined. For someone who proclaims how easy faith in the God of Love is for me (you know how some are naturally good at science or sports) this natural proclivity was tested at every measure, and I think I came out the other end even more adept…time will certainly tell. Add six months of my next theme, “living on a higher plane”, which is mind blowing (to me anyway) and wouldn’t have been remotely possible without all the ways my faith had been tested (and continues to be, part of evolution, I guess). So here I am, in all my dishevelment, (made even harder because I despise selfies, or any pictures in general…with no makeup, all sweaty, with the humidity wrecking havoc on my hair, which in this weather is pulled back 90% of the time, because of curls and cowlicks in all the wrong places) because this unequivocal and unfiltered state is my new normal. Per usual at this time of year, let me take a moment to send out prayers to all of you “trajectories” I’ve sent love to over my lifetime. Whether you know it or not, you all helped keep me on this journey as well as expand my own small blueprint helping to add my unique song and light to the world.
I was born at 6:40 in the morning, so today I got up early (it is Saturday, after all) and at that moment sent of blast of love outward into the world to all of you, in the hopes that the ripple will add to your individual beautiful blueprints in facing your day. Never forget the Savior’s promise that whatever you ask for in goodness, shall be given to you. So extend that same prayer to your own trajectories. You’re welcome. Here is my prayer, (in general, some are private)
I pray that the light you share to the world through your unique and exclusive gifts are magnified tenfold sending not just ripples, but waves of love out into the world
I pray that you make sacred even the simplest of actions you perform today and everyday because you never know how they will influence or affect another.
I pray that you love unequivocally, fully and freely without conditions or expectation of return, and watch its beautiful influence in your world. Losing yourself to love increases you, and never diminishes you because love is an inexhaustible and continuous energy.
I pray that you surround yourself with those you have tamed, and who have tamed you and strengthen those connections for any trials and tribulations to come, asking for help and support when you need it…especially from the God of Love who always has our backs. None of us were meant to take this journey alone.
I pray, most importantly that you really come to know and understand that Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things…LOVE NEVER FAILS.
Believing the above statement alone, is the key to living happily on a higher plane, where walking on water is the new norm, where we can face the unknown with confidence, balance, with grace, together.
This post may sound a bit unlike my usual intensity, a slight deviation from usual workings of my brain, but I think it’s necessary sometimes to step outside of oneself and try something new. Waking in the wee hours of the morning, overwhelmed by the energy in my heart and mind of the love that propels me forward and invigorates my soul (that often comes in the throws of creating a painting) where the practice and practicality of expressing it at the moment was pretty limited, I usually try to pray and send that energy outward into the world to all those I love and pray for. However, this time it wasn’t really effective, so I got up, and decided to try a new tactic. Love is energy, and the more I learn about, and embrace it, the more I feel like a conduit that is ready to explode if I don’t share it. So today, I decided to take that energy and infuse it in every action I performed, from cleaning, to grocery shopping, to engaging with everyday people in everyday ways, and to try and see and approach these tasks and interactions and transform them into something more. Yes, I am aware that my mind works a bit differently from most, but strangely? I did feel different as I walked in my world today, and I don’t think it was my imagination. People do respond differently when you try to incorporate the “love” energy in all you do. It was pleasant. It was moving. It was validation that I am definitely onto to something here. The love is real, it is palpable and efficacious. While it may go under the radar for most people, I am good at reading faces, and the responses I received seemed to be happy ones. Imagine if we all did this in our simple interactions every day. I think we change the tide for how the world moves forward…for all of us. One of the last things I did, was share a bit of love to myself by getting a pedicure. The whole experience was magical (and I admit, I get them all the time and usually sitting that long and feet touching is uncomfortable for me). I was lucky to get someone at the last minute, who I remembered I sold a piece of jewelry to a few years ago, and she was happy I remembered who she was…I could feel that simple love as she massaged my legs and feet. It was subtly transformative. I see why the washing of feet in the Gospel was such a moving experience for Jesus to share with people.
In a time where we focus on the “big” impacts of love, we can’t dismiss the simple and subtle ones either. Massaging the tension out of one’s life does make a difference, whether it is by using words or our hands. It was a good day. Tomorrow, practice simple love, you won’t regret it.
The above picture is my mother, nee Ruth Gleason, on her high school graduation day, a picture I had never seen, but was tucked away in all her stuff. The second is a ruby ring I made for her, also tucked away. I will now wear it as a reminder to think positive thoughts…about her and try to understand her., and me, I guess
It’s been a minute. Today is Mother’s Day, and while my mother is safe at her new residence, she is still so angry at all of us that the director there requested a no contact put in place for all of her children until she settles in so they don’t have to move her to a facility that deals with overly combative patients, especially since her delusions are still very front and center she still refuses to take the medications that will help her brain. While continuing to purge my mother’s apartment yesterday, my sisters and I were talking about how sad we were not to send flowers or visit her on Mother’s Day, (regardless of our feelings, we have never missed a one), I suggested we buy a beautiful plant and card that was simply signed: “Happy Mother’s Day, from all of us”. That way she could believe what ever she needed to, as to who sent it, and would put a smile on her face. I do want her to have a happy day, and whether or not I think it is true, she is proud to be a mother and grandmother, and I was taught to honor my parents. There is a post I wrote about my father before he passed that is quite popular, and I suddenly wondered what I would write when Ruth passed. It will be difficult, because I won’t be that person who waxes philosophically, full of platitudes simply because the moment requires me to say nice things, we never had that kind of relationship. But, I also know that all evolution is predicated on what went before us and to a large significance, I am who I am because of her. She is a gifted woman…intelligent, social, hard working, passionate about justice, and very committed to her Catholic faith. As I mentioned, my siblings and I have been clearing out my mother’s apartment, and oh my…the accumulation of stuff she has is mind boggling. I actually thought we had taken care of much of it when we cleared out my parents house and sold it almost a decade ago. She had boxes in storage that she hasn’t touched in a decade, with the demand that we keep them after she was gone (like every card she has ever received). My first thought was that she did this to remind us that she was popular, regardless of, well, whatever. All this (including about a thousand selfie-style pictures of she and my dad in random places), which to me felt like a true reflection of her life and treasure, went to recycling, because for the most part, they meant nothing to anyone else, but her. The furniture and decorations will be donated. There were a few things left that my brother and sisters all shared, and were things I’m positive she wouldn’t understand why they held any meaning for us like her high school graduation picture, or the ruby ring I made for her (because mostly they were packed away in boxes in her storage unit and not in a place where she could enjoy them). Anyway, it led me to today’s post, and I don’t say this lightly; truth on a higher plane can’t be rooted in the kind of figments of our imagination that supersede the truth of the life that we actually live, and what still lies ahead. While my hope is that once she settles in, my mother will be able to share in the love that her children have always had for her when we visit…if not, the truth of her life will become, like scripture taught us, a clanging gong or symbol and there isn’t anything I can do about that. She is worthy of love, and her life was filled with interesting things, and this post is in no way meant to disparage her, but to be a lesson for both of us on how to precede forward. So what about truth for the rest of us?
As I have shared in an earlier post, Teilhard saw the universe as an “unfinished” creation, moving toward greater complexity and consciousness. He also viewed truth not as a static dogma, but as an evolving, unified reality where science and faith converge. As a priest and a scientist, he believed that evolution is the process by which God culminates in a “Christ” consciousness (the Omega Point) that integrates all scientific and spiritual truth. He had no problem seeing that a search for truth was to be a joyful active exploration of an often time messy, yet vital potential of God’s creation, which was controversial at the time, given how obsessed the church was with original sin and the true nature of God…which Jesus showed us was love, love, love. He also believed that what I now call living on a higher plane (the Noosphere for Teilhard) truth itself is not static, but evolving and has two criteria: coherence and fecundity (consistent, logical integration of diverse elements that result in a productive expression of fruitfulness).
Jesus taught us that the Kingdom of Heaven is not of this world, therefore truth does not come from earthly systems or power structures, but a higher spiritual realm and that truth brings freedom, not just from sin, but from the limitations of deception, fear, and human insecurity that are often imposed by human systems and power structures. Life with Christ is depicted as a higher plane characterized by overflowing forgiveness, unconditional love, and spiritual guidance rather than just physical reality laid in front of us. This is where truth on a higher plane can be difficult…because it is the foundation of bringing into existence, the intuited belief, hope and enduring love that we hold in our hearts. It is manifesting an evolving global creation that integrates all our creative connections and personal gifts/paths that are a productive expression of the Body of Christ, rooted in a love that hopes all things, believes all things, endures all things and never fails. What that exactly looks like is largely left up to how we, collectively, decide to define and live it. And like the relationship with my aging mother, there is a lot of reflection left for me to do that is necessary to find the goodness and truth necessary to evolve forward.
I also feel inclined to add that on my social media feeds, my algorithms have developed to show me things that I enjoy, make me laugh, are instructive, am passionate and feel deeply about, there is also a lot of garbage passing through that is completely contrary to any thing that even remotely interests or excites me, and is actually deeply offensive (true to the nature of the nooshere that includes both good and bad). To this, I am reminded of a dream I had last year when while looking for my car, I found a woman standing in front of it smugly holding my keys toward me in her outstretched hand, and I screamed in her face to give me back my motherfucking keys, that I was going to change the world’s weather (butterfly effect). I grabbed the keys from her hand, loving the surprised expression on her face and drove away, fast with music blaring. Regardless of the bullshit passing as truth about me that exists out there in cyber world…I will never be appropriated into something I am not. I am unequivocal about that…and how I choose to love and live my truth on a higher plane is mine, and mine alone and no one can change that…it is simply how truth on a higher plane works. No one will ever stand in the way of that. Love’s expressions, when we let it lead and drive our movement forward, and not society, or the liars that lie, or those rooted in fear, will help truth evolve for each of us and enrich all our lives on a higher plane.
The above is the first self portrait I did requested by my mentor early on…I updated it a bit, but still kept the rough edges of representing an early work…
I have been dreading this post…circumstantially, it has been physically (although my lungs are finally clearing from the crud), emotionally and materially overwhelming in every regard. And it was within this context that the subject of success, primarily my own, has been hammering in the forefront of my mind (and the incessant chattering of my spirit guide, which more than any other time lately, I even tried to convince myself was a function of my imagination…to no avail). I am a participant in a county wide art show coming up this weekend. That in and of itself is a challenge: finishing pieces, pricing, organization, presentation, packaging, setup utilizing all aspects of advertising and promotion offered to me, etcetera, etcetera all in the context of baring my soul to the general public, many who are perfect strangers, which I find deeply disconcerting. Also, at the same time, the moment came suddenly for “the move” to a safer space for a family member which, being the medical representative, demands my presence in a myriad of ways, from physically approving the space, to the myriad of checks, paperwork and meetings with medical professionals. The move, of course, happens over the same period of time as my show…which fucking sucks, especially since we can’t say anything to her until the last minute. I have to take time off work (the running of our clinic, which also takes a huge chunk of my time) this coming week to join with my sisters and healthcare representatives to break the news just prior to the move and it will not be pretty. Thankfully, I have amazing sisters who have generously given me permission to focus on the show during the actual move and they would do the dirty work, (my son Riley offered to help move the heavy stuff…love you for that, my bebe). They were all so excited to be present with me at this show, but now will sadly be otherwise occupied…leaving me to stand on my own two feet.
The other issue, which is a direct connection to what I described above, were the messages this person hammered into my head from as early as I could remember. Messages like: Don’t shine, you will make everyone else feel bad, Don’t stand out, Don’t be better than, Be quiet, Be invisible, You can’t do that, I won’t allow that, I won’t pay for that, Be this, don’t be that, Who do you think you are, You were built wrong, Respecting me means doing what I say, Being smart is good enough, don’t get greedy, You think you know so much, you’re so arrogant…etc. were axioms that took so much of my time and life to untangle that I was left not only with a skewed view of what my God given talents were, but how I was supposed to use them, actually, of how I am still supposed to use them. This is NOT in any way, shape or form, a mechanism for your pity, that is insulting to me, especially since there are so many others who have risen from more harsh circumstances than mine, It is, however, merely an explanation of how I ended up where I did. As in all our lives, some of the worst points of darkness, offer the greatest opportunities for uncovering a deeper and more beautiful light, and that is how I am trying, amidst great consternation, to look at it. But…as was made clear by all that has been ruminating in my mind and intuition, I still have some dismantling to do with some of the more pervasive messages, namely, it is perfectly acceptable to have been given many different kinds of gifts from God that may make me stand out ahead of the herd and it is time to stop running from them, regardless of how uncomfortable it makes me feel right now. My focus must be on taking the “talents” I’ve been given, like the parable says, and make something of them. I have taken comfort in Teilhard’s definition of success: The slow work of God often involves passing through stages of instability, meaning success requires patience and faith in God’s ultimate plan rather than immediate and measurable results, and how well one acts according to God’s will and participates in the ongoing, creative work of the universe. True success is moving toward a greater awareness of a “higher” state of being where individual spirits converge and unite in love. I have also taken comfort in the words of scripture: love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love. Never. Fails.
I had a sudden and harsh realization amidst all the myriad of emotions this week, that I will never reach a higher state of being, or converge and unite in love unless I face my own fear and worthiness of success. While I cognitively know how capable I am, and talented…I do hide and am comfortable in anonymity, which, according to the parable is tantamount to burying my talents in the ground. (and the very reason this parable has always made me a little sick to my stomach). So, regardless of my natural inclination to be “supportive” rather than be in the lead…it is important, at this point anyway, to prove to myself and “her” that I can be and will be in the forefront of a creative movement, even if only momentary, and that is the lesson at this appointed time. Ironically, the circumstances of the moment only seem to serve as the exact incentive for to me to forge ahead. It is her messages that I bury in the ground, and not my talent…and doing so with just my own two hands and feet seem to be the appropriate way to do so.
I don’t think it would be incorrect to say that evil is a subject that most human beings are curious about. Just look at its presence in the world, from its popularity in all the mediums of storytelling, to religious institutions using it as leverage to ensure appropriate behavior, to world politics who use it to vilify their enemies and as a reason to wreck havoc on them. And yet from another perspective, the fragile nature of human beings has shown throughout history, that they are not only capable of, but have committed horrible evil acts for a host of reasons and moral guidance is a necessity in developing a personal ethos, as well as cultural ones, which can’t be done without the recognition that evil does, in many forms, exist. In a particular turbulent time for me, I once read a book called: “When bad things happen to good people” by Harold Kushner that I found incredibly helpful. The online synopsis describes it like this: ‘It tackles the theological problem of evil, proposing that God does not cause tragedy or intervene to stop it, but rather offers comfort, strength, and love, enabling people to find meaning in a flawed world’. I would also add that while the gift of free will allows humanity to choose our future road forward, it also becomes glaringly obvious (to me, anyway) how much we need God/Love’s assistance to do so successfully. For me the jury is still out on how evil actually manifests itself in our world, except to say that I have had experiences of it that have pushed the limits of believable reality, and I am humble enough to admit that I am the limited one in this scenario and therefore walk forward with the knowledge that there are things in reality that I can’t completely understand, that I do not walk alone, and that the cornerstone of my faith must be in the power of love that will ultimately protect me and the world from evil. I also think it is futile to try and understand the nature of evil in any other way except to say this; 1) it is parasitic in nature and cannot exist independently on its own, my faith taught me that Jesus took care of that when he bore our sins and conquered death and before he fully transformed, broke the walls of hell, and 2) it feeds off our fear in a myriad of ways. In my experience, it also roars its ugly head whenever we are close to a change in state forward…to create a cosmic setback, as it were. Because of the latter reason, it also makes it difficult for me not to ascribe some intelligence and malice to it, hence why I often refer to evil as if it were the serpent in the old testament from the Garden of Eden.
The reason I started with a look at evil, was not to explain what it is, exactly, but to simply accept it is definitely a part of the human journey, and figure out how best we can counteract it as we live on a higher plane. I’ve always found Teilhard’s suggestion of using the evil that happens to us as opportunities to transform it into good (kind of like Faust did when Mephistopheles tried to trip him up with evil acts…there was always an option for good too) as the simplest and most positive way forward.
Teilhard says we can turn evil into good in three ways:
1) Occasionally one of our failures will divert our energies to another channel that may be a more virtuous one.
2) Sometimes the loss we experience will cause us to return, out of frustration, to less material areas.
3) The most common way, because we see diminishment all around us almost continually, is by uniting with God and transfiguring our suffering within the context of a loving annihilation and union. God carves out a hollowness in us in order to make room for love’s entrance into our innermost being. Thus everything can be taken up again to be recast in God (love) even our failures.
This approach keeps the road forward open, regardless of any obstacle thrown on our path…we can always find an alternative route, an opportunity to use the empty spaces created by experiences of evil by filling them with Love and utilizing its power to transform our failures and recast them as learning experiences and into an even stronger love and faith life. It is the action of moving beyond the evil that make us powerful, and utilizing the power of Love in those very moments that shed a light into that darkness and dispel it so we can move forward unhindered by it.
Jesus, too, acknowledges evil in the desert when he was presented with three temptations by Satan:
Physical Needs: Turning stones into bread to break his fast, to which Jesus responds: humanity cannot live on bread alone.
Testing God: Throwing himself from the temple pinnacle to prove God’s protection, to which Jesus responds, do not put the Lord your God to the test.
Worldly Power: Worshipping the devil in exchange for all the kingdoms of the world, to which Jesus responds, the Lord your God you shall worship, to God alone you shall serve.
Jesus showed us that even when we are at our weakest and we are tempted to give into evil, we are never alone, we have the power of Love on our side, and the promise that when God is for us, there is nothing that will get in the way of that power of Love. It is also important to remember, while the apparatus of the world may not always visibly change, the way we act in it does, and those actions, in turn do change the world apparatus. Teilhard puts it this way: when we come to realize that the divine milieu has been revealed to us, it is possible to make a pair of important observations. First, the manifestation of the divine causes no apparent changes on the outward nature of things as perceived by our senses—though their meanings may be accentuated. Second, the persistence of the revelation is guaranteed by Christ himself. No power can keep us from the accompanying joys of acting with love as our source of movement into the future.
I conclude with this: let love be your source of power to react to the evils that befall you, let love transform any obstacle into an opportunity for good, and let love open up new and exciting paths forward.
The above pictures are some pendants I just made for my show, that while making, I tried to express the sacred qualities of the beauty of nature in stones formed over millions of years with my personal expressions of love. Each piece is unique, I never replicate anything…people love that, and it is my hope that the hundreds of pieces I have out there are worn as a reflection of nature’s beauty. FYI, I never sell anything on line, (including my drawings/paintings) because, well for one I don’t want to, and second, because I think I need to make a connection with the actual person that is buying it. I know its a terrible business model, but it is what I feel driven to do.
So lets jump right in. As I alluded to in the last post, The Omega Point, or destination of evolution (scripture calls it the Kingdom of Heaven) is present and within us right now, and not just a future concept or goal. Teilhard, like the laws of evolution, ascribe four attributes to this unified concept of the universe as such:
It is autonomous, the Omega (which is synonymous with God/love and from now on I will be referring as “Love”) that was there from the beginning and acts as a pole drawing evolution upward, outside of time and space.
Love is actual, conscious and intellectual and not an abstract, representing supreme personalization whose function is to maintain the unanimity of all human beings (blueprints).
Love is irreversible. Its emergence in the course of evolution can only occur through successive stages and is independent on what proceeds it. It is “the soul” of all creation.
Love is transcendent. While it is the first product of its own evolution, it is at the same time outside of all evolution or space time. It is insufficient to say that it emerged from the rise of consciousness, it was the source and incorruptible energy that drove it.
The framework of these four attributes mirror the teaching’s of Christ about the nature of God. There is a place that Teilhard does diverge from traditional teachings in the epistles, about not being “of” the world. In Teilhard’s view there are no “religious acts” and “secular acts”. He even goes so far as to intimate that is a dangerous perspective. Since all of our evolution, to this point, is rooted in the world we must strive for detachment with a striving for development, i.e. when you act, you do so not for public acclaim, but for God: Matthew 6:1-13, where he ends with the only prayer we need, which is the Lord’s prayer:
(But) take care not to perform righteous deeds in order that people may see them; otherwise, you will have no recompense from your heavenly Father. When you give alms, do not blow a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets to win the praise of others. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right is doing, so that your almsgiving may be secret. And your Father who sees in secret will repay you. When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, who love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on street corners so that others may see them. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go to your inner room, close the door, and pray to your Father in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will repay you. In praying, do not babble like the pagans, who think that they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them. Your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
This is how you are to pray: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as in heaven. Give us today our daily bread; and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors; and do not subject us to the final test, but deliver us from the evil one.
If you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your transgressions. When you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites. They neglect their appearance, so that they may appear to others to be fasting. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, so that you may not appear to be fasting, except to your Father who is hidden. And your Father who sees what is hidden will repay you .Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and decay destroy, and thieves break in and steal. But store up treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor decay destroys, nor thieves break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there also will your heart be. The lamp of the body is the eye. If your eye is sound, your whole body will be filled with light; but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be in darkness. And if the light in you is darkness, how great will the darkness be. No one can serve two masters. He will either hate one and love the other, or be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.
Jesus taught us that actions have no value except in the intentions that motivate them. All work, all striving rooted in love cooperates to complete the world in the sanctifying grace of Jesus Christ. I learned this lesson when I was at the Benedictine monastery in the desert. St Benedict taught that work, labor, is an extension of prayer, an encounter with God, a way to build community (the body) and a means to contribute to society (with our own special gifts/blueprint). Teilhard uses this syllogism and explanation of work:
All work, all striving, cooperates to complete the world in Jesus Christ (Love). At the heart of the universe every soul exists for God, but all reality exists for our souls, therefore, all reality exists through our souls for God (Love). Love’s creation, after all was not completed long ago, it is a continuing process and we, humanity, serve to complete it by what we do and how we do it. It is no less than bringing Christ to fulfillment. In action we cleave to Love’s creative power, we coincide with it and prolong it. There is a specifically God like perfection to human endeavor. We cripple our lives if we see work as only an encumbrance. Because of the incarnation of Christ anything on this earth is profound for those who see it properly.
I know this post is heady, and I worry that people will grow bored with my theme this year, but living on a higher plane demands that we understand how to wield love, and bring the divine to life in all we do…even in the simplest of activities. To understand that whether we are a laborer, doctor, artist or whatever we feel called to do will offer us all opportunities to evolve us forward by “how” we perform our daily actions is truly the key. To become aware that how we wield love in relationships from lovers, friends, to communities and countries is what will strengthen the bonds that hold us together and move us into the future is our true power. If I’m being honest, it has been a particularly difficult time for me in this regard. Life feels immeasurably burdensome this week from being sick, to a broken connection, to crisis management at almost every turn in one of the busiest times in my life…it has not been easy to respond to these circumstances bombarding me with the love I seem to so casually preach about above…such is the nature of learning how to live on a higher plane, and how I am personally being held to account (you know the whole never wanting to become an asshole thing). Pray for me, I definitely need it. Its also apropos to what comes next…how to turn evil to good on a higher plane.
I begin with a piece of jewelry I created for my upcoming show the first weekend in May. I love this piece of ocean jasper, because I see a person wandering forward in a field of flowers…nature is truly amazing. The following post touches on theoretical ideas, so I thought I would begin with the picture above showing you a bit of nature’s magic…so lets jump right in….
According to Wikipedia, a theory of everything (TOE) is an overarching hypothetical coherent theoretical framework of physics that contains all physical principles. The scope of the concept of a “theory of everything” varies. The original technical concept referred to unification of the four fundamental interactions, or forces of nature: electromagnetism, strong and weak nuclear forces and gravity. While yet unproved, it is the subject of many scientists to find one single equation that explains the physics of the universe. But just because it hasn’t been proven yet, simply means, in my mind anyway, that we are not at that point of evolution, or have all the necessary information yet. Albert Einstein learned a painful lesson when he dropped a constant to his equations to ensure a static universe after the expansion of the universe was proven, because modern physics now uses that very concept to explain dark energy. My point here, and you should all breath a sigh of relief, is not to try to go into a physics lesson, but more as a gentle reminder to remain open to where evolution is moving us, embracing that while it may not make sense yet, faith and new information will keep moving us out of “intuited” ideas, into principles that become rooted in reality and giving us the necessary hindsight to keep moving into the unknown.
From the perspective of theology, however, and from my standpoint specifically, we are stuck in the same old, same old, and refuse to look at love as the internal reflection/workings of those same natural powers science is trying so hard to understand and unify. From a theological standpoint, we are obligated to work to see and hear how the “within” of this power (love) continues to express new facets of itself giving us not only a greater understanding of its nature, but leaves us better equipped as to how to wield it. Instead, many religious institutions hammer their faithful with rote recitations of scripture and their literal and uniform interpretations on how “to be” in the world we are living in that deny the very essence of its message. Memorizing scripture and its regurgitation to ‘the faithful’ without the substance and the power of love propelling one to put those words into action is what has made much of the Christian faith, in my humble opinion, as Paul says, a resounding gong, or clanging symbol. It is simply noise with no benefit to anyone except to give them the belief that somehow “following the rules” and the uniformity it demands, they remain in an elite club with a free pass to heaven in the end. Like Physicists working to understand the power that holds this world together, I, along with others, want to understand the “within” of this power, because as the gift of reflective thought has made clear, we are acting in concert with this power as cocreators of our future and are responsible for how it propels us forward toward a final goal, one which Teilhard called “the Omega Point”.
There is a distinct difference in our journey of evolution from all other linear journeys that move through time. All the power necessary to move in the right direction is already present here amidst and amongst us even if we are not completely aware of or can see or hear it fully yet. We, the human element, are the change agent so as we evolve and begin to see and hear with greater depth and understanding, we will also have greater access to this power, called love, which will be as tantamount a discovery as fire was to early humans. And this understanding can’t be rushed; (as Jesus says, neither the angels of heaven or the Son, only the Father in Heaven knows the timing of all of this movement forward) we must have faith in the whispering of the music in our souls that moves us to connect with, by following the blueprint Jesus laid out so carefully for us, others who, like parts of a body, make us so much more than we are alone. It’s important to remember that a heart, while beautiful in its own right, only has function and purpose when connected to other unique parts that comprise a body. We don’t cease to become any less individual, but become demonstrably so much more. That statement helps me understand Jesus words when he said: “For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” Understanding what I do now about God, and love…that means to truly “become” myself, I have to let go of control and let Love control, pulling me into the kinds of connections that will not only sustain me but fulfill my purpose…which I fully admit, even after all this time, I am still just a neophyte, and seem to mess up daily. The good news is that in every failure (and successes, I’m not completely inept), I see and hear the power of love in greater depth and how it augments my human limitations with the heavenly kind. Teilhard explains the deep discovery of self through love like this:
It is through love and within love that we must search for our deepest self, in the life-giving “coming together” of humankind. Love is the free and imaginative outflowing of the spirit over all unexplored paths. It links those who love in bonds that unite, but do not destroy, causing them to discover in their mutual contact an exaltation capable of stirring in the very core of their being all that they possess of uniqueness and creative power. Love alone can unite living beings so as to complete and fulfill them…for it alone joins them by which is deepest in themselves. If love accomplishes on a small scale, in a couple or in the team, the magic feat of a ‘personalizing’ unity, why shouldn’t it repeat this some day on a world wide scale? All we need is to imagine our ability to love developing until it embraces the totality of people on the earth. We usually seem to think that, with the love of a spouse, children, friends or country, a person has exhausted all natural forms of love. Yet, the most basic form of passion has been omitted from this list: ‘cosmic love’. Not only is a universal love psychologically possible, it constitutes the only complete and final way in which we are capable of loving.
To do this, Teilhard tells us we were never meant to do this alone, and reminds us of the first great commandment, that you must love the Lord, your God with all your heart and with all your soul, followed by the second which is to love your neighbor as yourself. The only way for cosmic love to happen, for this deep kind of love to be possible is that it must be co-existent with us right now. If love, or as Teilhard calls it in the context of our evolution, “Omega” were only an ideal or potential, which is to emerge only in a remote future, how could it possibly have any real effect on us today? A present and real super consciousness must have a present and real center. Like physicists who poster ideas we can’t presently prove mathematically, yet, to work toward future proof, so too must we poster ideas about love and move into them with the faith that, based on Jesus’ blueprint. that we are moving in the right direction.
Next time we will talk about the nature of Omega, to which Teilhard says has four attributes rooted in what Jesus laid our for us.
Holy Thursday, the first day in the Christian triduum, which represents Holy Thursday, Good Friday and Easter Sunday, is the most difficult for me. The last supper occurs on that day, as well as Jesus visit to the Garden of Gethsemane where he asks his fellow disciples to stay awake with him as he prepares for his coming sacrifice…in which they all fall asleep, leaving him alone in his fear and despair. I’ve written about this before: https://maryfrancesflood.com/2013/03/30/agony/ Ironically, it was when I finally fell asleep last night after hours of trying to do so that I finally received some comfort and insight.
I was in the garden…after the fact. At first, I sat quietly and waited, and finally he came in his risen form and I tried to breathe amidst the turmoil of the moment. He reached over and took my hand in his and with the other gently turned my face toward his and looked into my eyes and said: “Tell me.”
“Remember when that priest told me the movie in my head was much better than the real thing, and that I was setting myself up for disappointment? In this moment, more than ever, I feel like he may have been right. I am finding that trying to bring the richness of what is in my mind and make tangible in the world feels impeded or blocked at every turn. I so want to honor the choice you made…” The tears began to flow, “that you bore the weight of my sin, of our sins.” He rubbed his thumb over my hand and waited for me to continue. “Sitting here, is where you chose to sacrifice yourself so that people like me would have unlimited access to the power of love to wield in the world. I have spent my lifetime trying to figure out how to do that and looking around, I’m not too sure I am any better at it than I was when I started.” He looked at me with brow furrowed and sighed deeply.
“Stop trying to be perfect, you are not me!” And he put his hand up by my mouth before I could interrupt him. “I never expected you to love perfectly, or follow exactly in my footsteps. This”, pointing to the garden “was my journey, my choice, my sacrifice. I embraced it in the beginning. I knew everything that was coming, and even though I became human, and I was afraid, your beautiful face and the faces of so many other beautiful blueprints were my inspiration in that moment to say yes, to what was required of me. You, Mary Frances and others like you gave me hope that it would be all worth while. Your love and light inspired me in the darkest moment of my journey to drink from my Father’s cup. Love saved us all in that moment…and I want you to look into my eyes and let that sink in. Your journey is unique to you alone, with all you need to succeed already given to you and I am perfectly happy with your progress thus far. But I sense the depth of your sadness…so talk to me.”
“But what of those who you love, but don’t love you back? I don’t want to be a resounding gong or a clanging symbol like Paul talked about. I have forgiven and tried to appreciate all the good things I’ve been given and I’ve tried hard to love according to Scripture’s definition, promising to be unequivocal, but when I expect the same in return,…” Crest fallen, I started to fall apart, a bit, and in an incredible intimate gesture, Jesus pulled me on his lap and held me tight.
“You can’t make someone love you, if they don’t (like the song you love says)…but what you need to know is that how she decided to live with, or bury her gifts is her decision alone. I saw how hard you worked to be a good daughter. And now, I know signing that paper placing her where she is safe, is an act of love, on your part, and on your siblings part and not a betrayal. Sometimes wielding love is painful.” He turned my face toward his. “But that isn’t everything, is it?”
I sighed deeply and shook my head in the negative. “No. but compared to your sacrifice, it seems almost insipid to bring it up.”
“Love in any expression is never insipid. I would have thought you would know that by now.” He took a deep breath and continued, “All I have ever asked of you, of all of you, is believe that I am the way, the truth and the life and that none of you come to God, to love except through me…” he paused, looked at me and smirked “and I can already see the wheels turning in your head, so when I say ‘through me’ you know I mean by how you love one another, as I have taught you, so trust the plan I have for you and utilize all the gifts you’ve been given to shine your light in the darkness and you will move mountains. And believe me when I say all who seek me will find me. We are tethered together, you and I, and you need to trust that my grace is sufficient, and trust those whom I have placed with you on your journey. You are never alone. Simply concentrate on utilizing your gifts to bear good fruit in the world, and your song of love will shape the future.” He looked deep into my eyes, and said: “I know all the prayers you asked for, in goodness, not only for yourself but for others, and I always keep my promises. Remember, Love believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails…Ever” He kissed my on the forehead and I woke up to a new day,
I hope my dream can inspire you. Have a Blessed Easter…and never give up on the movie in your head.
The above picture is a contemplative monastery, Christ in the Desert, that I stayed at while in college trying to figure out, as I wrote in my journal, “this whole faith thing”. As you can see, I’m still trying to figure it out.
Lately, I’ve been dealing with the very difficult and problematic task of how to handle a loved one and her increasing descent into dementia from Alzheimer’s disease. My sister and I are her medical/legal guardians and it is up to us to decide how to move forward, however challenging that may be. However, I had a curious thought during all our interactions over the past months that seems apropos to what I am doing here…and it was how adamant and confident she had become in her delusions, many dangerous to her well being…which I won’t go into, but it begged the question: how are the delusions she moves in any different than someone like me, or Teilhard, or Scientists or Mystics who from an intuitive place put faith in a future potential of/in something yet unknown or not physically obvious at our present point of evolution in this world? For one thing, having it come to fruition at a later date in time…from both the perspective of the “without” and the “within” is essential in continuing to invest in those kinds of intuitions that keep pushing our understanding of reality, but from whom or where does that intuition come? From my family member’s perspective, she believes she is the “chosen one” (and because she has fallen prey to a foreign money scam that preys on vulnerable people…which we have in hand). What of the rest of us?
When I speak for myself, regarding things I can’t explain, like the fact that I have a firm belief that God has spoken to me auditorily…how is it that I continue to move forward in my faith journey that is rooted in something that could easily be tossed aside as delusional so confidently? Where is the proof? First and foremost, I challenge myself on this notion pretty much all the time to keep me grounded in how I move forward. I also am aware, however, that I am not alone when I state that there are plenty of others who stake their lives on things beyond their present understanding that they believe move our evolution forward. Throughout my lifetime, many individuals who have crossed my path were shown, by experience, to be predators and charlatans preaching a bunch of malarky to buy into something for the sake their own enrichment (i.e. snake oil salesmen). Especially in the present environment, I am astonished at how many people root their belief in things that are patently untrue, and easily fact checked. I don’t want to ever fall into that trap or lead anyone astray, which is why, for the most part, I throw all this stuff out into cyberspace with no conditions whatsoever except to say it is my hope that it can in some way give people hope in their own potential to make a difference in the world and shine a little light. I am also aware that having a stake in future possibilities cannot be rooted in just a single or few minds or disciplines, which is why I have tried to broaden my perspective to see things from the angle of multiple disciplines. And in doing so, I see so many similarities in their expressions in the physical world (like a similar musical theme, to use my favorite metaphor). From Teilhard’s idea of the Noosphere shaping into the blanket of reflective thought we know as the internet, to Scientists identifying and understanding different natural forces, only to have that insight become even more altered as time and understanding and science continues to develop, to Artists who express an intuitive golden proportion that is pleasing to the eye, all the way down to my little, small and fallible voice who believes in an omnipotent God who loves me deeply enough to answer all my prayers asked in goodness and also guides me and helps me exist with others on a higher plane (and as I explained to another…when our lives have transformed so much how can we believe that we made all this shit up?). Obviously, my starting point is the fact that I don’t have Alzheimer’s disease (regardless of how others may see me, I am definitely of sound mind). Secondly, I always go back to that point on the mountain where God claimed my attention and acceptance, and where my real faith journey began (and has been validated immeasurably over the years,) and it wasn’t through adulation, but through all the hard lessons (of which I wear my scars proudly), along with the successes I’ve achieved through facing all challenges that were presented to me, and yes, here I go again, often through dreams and the direction of my spirit guide, and amazing people I’ve met along the way. Thirdly, continuing to challenge and reinvent my faith according to the wise instruction of my father who taught me that faith unchallenged is dead. And lastly, the cumulative efforts of those people throughout my life via education, travel, adventures, jobs, etc., that have resulted in hindsight giving me an even deeper and stronger faith in love guiding the world. Through them I continue learn how how to wield love’s power in all its expressions to help other’s share their blueprints and light to build up the Body of Christ, and also give me the love, strength and intuition/foresight to continue to move into the unknown. Here are two quotes by Teilhard, that explains my position:
Though frightened for a moment by evolution, the Christian now perceives that what evolution offers us is nothing but a magnificent means of feeling more ‘at one’ with God and of giving oneself more to God, the whole. To be able to say literally to God that I love you, not only with all my body, all my heart, and all my soul but with every fiber of the unifying universe…is a prayer that can only be made in space-time.
Someday, after mastering the the winds, the waves, the tides, and gravity, we shall harness for God the energies of love, and then, for a second time in the history of the world, humanity will have discovered fire.
Both quantum physics and Christian theology teach us that the relationship of one thing to another is what creates reality, AND that the sum is greater than the individual part…remember according to quantum theorists, the observer is essential in determining reality, and that the apostle Paul described us all as one body, but with many members, all different but essential for the body to function. I am adamant in the belief that however I express/wield love as an observer is essential to building this future potential, and I really don’t give a a whoop if no one else thinks so. As I’ve said before, I am the cumulative result of a lifetime of experiences and evolution that gives me the unmitigated gall to declare that I am, (of course along with unnumerable others) a maker of our future potential (the power of a mustard seed or impact of a butterflies wings). Importantly, relationships are not objects, they are experienced (which is why I love the quote from “The Little Prince” which says that it is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye). The invisible part, or the part that is beyond the four dimensions (height, width, length and time) that humans are presently defined by is the issue that I’ve been focused on this week, and also propels me to continue on this unknown road, delusional or not. Why? because it all makes sense to me, after balancing so many different perspectives…there is proof that I am on the right road, that my foundations are on solid ground and not some madness I’ve embraced to face an illogical and increasingly troubled world. We have had our future success laid out on a silver platter by an omnipotent and loving God, we only need to keep walking forward, rooted in those axioms left to us by the Savior of the World.
As a final caveat for this post, that I will build on for next time, let me share how science has moved from an intuited position to one that became, with new measurement and understanding, the new norm. Originally, it was understood that there were four different fundamental forces of nature (the without): gravity, electromagnetism (responsible for the structure of atoms and molecules) , nuclear weak force (causes beta decay, where a neutron changes into a proton crucial for nuclear reactions in the sun and radiocarbon dating), and nuclear strong force (responsible for holding the nucleus of an atom together). Over time, physicists combined the electromagnetic force with the nuclear weak force. Now, through theories based on supersymmetry (interestingly represented by the circle) they are working to unite additionally, the strong nuclear force leaving only two forces of nature. Now I do know how to count…but now, what scientists hope to prove is that there really is ultimately only one force…or so called The Grand Unified Theories (known as GUTS). Interestingly, the GUTS theory works out mathematically if you add an additional dimension or force…which perhaps humans, who are presently limited to four dimensions (within) haven’t developed enough to comprehend completely, the fifth…which for all intents and purposes is Love…the most powerful source of all. Keep tuned.
I took a moment, giving my brain a rest, and tried in the silence to rediscover the song in my soul, to hear its whisper, but the snowstorm outside and incredible wind kept me distracted (I don’t like the hard kind of wind that worries me whether or not the trees will make it till morning). So to quiet that fear, I listened to music…a song in particular that I hadn’t heard in a long time, but was brought to mind during the Chanel show and it slowed my mind and I could begin to hear, in pictures, the song that is brewing inside, which is demonstrably different than the song above, but moves me in the same kind of way…and can’t share because it isn’t ready yet.
Standing still with arms raised, a maestro quells the cacophony of noise inside that often times occurs when fear takes hold and and gloams into the rising light that love’s song quietly brings. With a subtle shift of her wrist, she moves her wand and offers a prayer to God above and around us to fill her with the power of love and the necessary silence required to hear the song’s subtle beginning whisper and again moves her wand with a gentle gesture, and like a chaste kiss the orchestra begins.
She celebrates love’s triumphant song, with multiple melodies and instruments yet none to reign supreme but created to blend together in harmony. Her wand sways, hones and weaves together notes to become more than what they are alone. Tempering movements from dissonance to congruous symmetry, melodies all uniquely inspired by love become the heart song she longs for.
One voice low and uncomplicated, from disordered to measured in equivalent beats pushing past the present to future’s possibilities, directed and soul understood, pensive and building toward a moment of perfect harmony.
One voice even, temperate but eager to dance to creation’s beauty and the celebration of higher potential, drawn forward by heaven’s pull and the promise of a blueprint fulfilled.
One voice, quiet, continuous and with foresight, rearranging the stars above to places of harmonic unity, bringing wholeness and happiness to those who choose to be and share their light.
Finally one voice, dramatic, unequivocal and full of love that celebrates the ties that bind together multiple voices, each unique but adding dimension and fullness to the song of her heart.
Notes upon notes, upward and forward along with voices, whose lyrics sometimes strained but sounding hope in trying times, stills the cacophony of fear that drove the discord disrupting and pervading our world, to advance in fullness the song of the Kingdom. Today, I share the idea of my melody song as a prayer for all soul songs of love…
The above picture is the pool we once had but had to dig up in 2018 because of the increasing harsh conditions of winter (one in particular) and we just couldn’t sustain it anymore. I cried for a long time when we had to remove it. Steve didn’t mind as much because he isn’t a fan of water and doesn’t know how to swim beyond dog paddling. Me? I love water, I always have. Perhaps its’ because I am a water sign, but water calms me, invigorates me and is the one place where my body completely relaxes giving me temporary freedom from the limits of my damaged structure. So it is with water as my metaphor that I speak about what is necessary to live according to the rules of a higher plane. For me, the first and most primary rule is love. Allowing the power of love to express my heart is like being given a cool, fresh, glass of water and while drinking it, suddenly become aware of how thirsty and parched I had been all along. The transforming effect of quenching a deep thirst besides being mind-blowing, is exactly what it feels like when I let love in its multifaceted expressions, move and propel me forward, especially when it is essential to my very survival. I know there are other “things” that can offer a feeling of euphoria, or temporary sustenance, but the transitory “high” that comes from, and the crash that follows after it passes, is proof that those “false” facsimiles don’t really quench anything at all, and most often create an even deeper thirst, a longing, or a a bigger hole that is impossible to fill…an apt description of addiction. Since the human body is roughly comprised of 60% water, and without it…we die, water is the very substance of survival. It doesn’t take a genius to see that most of the modern options of quenching thirst, other than water , more times than not, eventually shorten life, not sustain it. It is a simply fact that living without water, though,is virtually impossible. And if water is the “without” using the terminology of Teilhard, so too, is water necessary on a spiritual level, for the “within”.
I know I’ve spoken about the remarkable exchange that Jesus had with a Samaritan woman before, but importantly, this is also the first time he declares what he is offering at the beginning of his ministry, is a kind of “living water” from the gospel of John 4:9-14:
The Samaritan woman said to him, “How can you, a Jew, ask me, a Samaritan woman, for a drink?” (For Jews use nothing in common with Samaritans.) Jesus answered and said to her, “If you knew the gift of God and who is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked God and God would have given you living water.”(The woman) said to him, “Sir, you do not even have a bucket and the cistern is deep; where then can you get this living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us this cistern and drank from it himself with his children and his flocks?” Jesus answered and said to her, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again; but whoever drinks the water I shall give will never thirst; the water I shall give will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life
Jesus goes on to say later in John that once we embrace him, “Rivers of living water will flow from within them.” Most scholars equate “living waters” with the gift of the Holy Spirit, or grace, that was bestowed upon us after Jesus death and resurrection giving us a continuous and inextinguishable source of God’s power, i.e. love. I wrote a piece once, asking how anyone’s life would change if their wallet was as unlimited as the love of God is… https://maryfrancesflood.com/2019/08/07/love-and-quid-pro-quo/ Human beings are often restricted, because they see themselves as simply entities unto themselves, a construction of a single perspective. But, as Teilhard and Jesus remind us, we are not entities unto ourselves, but part of a much greater whole. It is that understanding that we are all connected that enabled me to move in the world with an unlimited source of love that flows from within me and outward toward others. Here is the rub, though, even though the source of love is unlimited and as promised we need never be thirsty again, as humans, we still have the free will to decide how and when to wield it. And as I have mentioned before, just because an individual decides that an action is rooted in love, doesn’t necessarily make it so. Love is never defined just by our intent and desire for it because it is so much bigger than we are…love demands relinquishing personal control and giving it the freedom to lead us. How we know we are successful in doing so, we need only look to what those essential qualities of love are, as they are listed so clearly in 1 Corinthians 13 and whether or not, over time, our spiritual thirst is indeed being quenched or we are left wanting. Gaging whether an action is rooted in love or fear is essential and sometimes, because its not always clear from a human perspective, we may have to change course. Looking at how we love is a continuing proposition, which demands both circumspection and a desire to continue to evolve. The upside is the promise that we are not alone, and by extending love, we are promised its return to us. And I have personally celebrated an abundance of that return.
The freedom to embrace this “living water” as Jesus calls it, doesn’t depend on our doing it “perfectly” because after all, we are all moving toward a greater synthesis. Living on a higher plane doesn’t require sainthood either, but simply a desire to, with the help of the God of love, do it better every day.
There is nothing that represents freedom to me more than a full moon upon a full body of water…so here is a picture of the snow moon up on Lake Superior…
free·dom
/ˈfrēdəm/
noun
the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint
While I am aware that all of us live within different cultural rules depending on where we exist on this beautiful globe, this post is not about which societal rules are most beneficial. I am speaking about freedom in the context of living on a higher plane. And when it comes to living on a higher plane, the concept of freedom differs from the standard definition I listed above. While all of us are born with the power and right to express our blueprints as God intended without hindrance or restraint, there should be an additional addendum to that definition…Because we are all connected, the freedom “to be” must also be done in accordance to the special part each blueprint plays with respect to the rest of the body, both in a physical and spiritual sense and embracing the kind of behavior that will keep the body healthy and moving forward. Paul in his first letter to Corinthians explains it like this:
Now the body is not a single part, but many. If a foot should say, “Because I am not a hand I do not belong to the body,” it does not for this reason belong any less to the body. Or if an ear should say, “Because I am not an eye I do not belong to the body,” it does not for this reason belong any less to the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the hearing be? If the whole body were hearing, where would the sense of smell be? But as it is, God placed the parts, each one of them, in the body as he intended. If they were all one part, where would the body be? But as it is, there are many parts, yet one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, “I do not need you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I do not need you. “Indeed, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are all the more necessary, and those parts of the body that we consider less honorable we surround with greater honor, and our less presentable parts are treated with greater propriety, whereas our more presentable parts do not need this. But God has so constructed the body as to give greater honor to a part that is without it, so that there may be no division in the body, but that the parts may have the same concern for one another. If (one) part suffers, all the parts suffer with it; if one part is honored, all the parts share its joy. Now you are Christ’s body, and individually parts of it.
It is within the context of this living body of humanity, and the fact that we are all connected together in one body, that the freedom to be as we were intended is balanced with the direction that God has intended for us to follow. In practical application, no single body, community, or civilization can exist without the application of systems or conventions that balance individual freedoms with the freedom of the whole to prosper. As humanity evolves, so too must those systems that balance individual freedom and responsibility to the whole. Think of it this way; the brain, lungs, hands have evolved over time to achieve greater function, but without the body…they cease to have any function or purpose at all. Their value must be seen in light of the whole. This is a bit of a conundrum, especially if ‘the whole’ deviates from God’s purpose and somehow decides that you can’t be who you were meant to be for often fear based reasons. I think the Savior understood the necessity of challenging power and money for this reason. It is also why Paul emphasized that there would always be parts of the body that are given greater spiritual power and understanding because it was their responsibility to make sure greater propriety was given to the weaker parts, because they too, are essential to function of the whole. If the weaker parts fail, so does the whole…if the weaker parts thrive…so does the whole.
When I think about living free from hindrance or restraint, and expressing my blueprint to the best of my ability, I must also take into consideration all those other essential parts of the body who choose to walk with me on a higher plane wherever they are. And rather than being left to figure out on my own how to do that, it is my faith and commitment to the God of love to lead the dance on this higher plane and show me the necessary steps I need to take to balance developing my own blueprint, and the responsibility I have to the rest of those I choose to love as we all move forward. I make this distinction because I can’t be everything to every part of the body of humanity, but I can center my regard and love to those parts of the body who cross my path every day, especially those trajectories I send out love to. I also have to acknowledge how much regard and love I’ve received from those who have been instrumental in helping me figure out the melody of my soul so the part I play in this body is also effectual in the body moving forward. I’m beginning to see that my simple footprint in this world does make a difference and choosing love as the source of my actions every day is all the proof I need to believe in its power.
Besides working to keep the body healthy and in tact, standing still is never an option. The body of humanity will continue to evolve, perhaps not as much from the physical sense…but directionally from a consciousness perspective, and the stakes could not be higher. According to my faith, and indeed many other faiths, there is a cosmic consciousness that has set the direction of humanities’ journey through time, and because of the freedom to choose, it is incumbent upon all of us to decide individually, if we are going to choose God as the cosmic brain that moves us forward or not. The Savior didn’t really give any of us a ton of options. Either we follow him forward as expressions of the Kingdom of Heaven, or we choose the alternative…which is bleak. Now I hate ultimatums just as much as anyone, but laid out over time, not only throughout history but my own life, I came to the conclusion early on that the choice the Savior offered me makes perfect sense, especially in regard to the rhythm of my own soul. Now I also know that humanity has made terrible mistakes when it comes to the applications of all the Saviors teachings especially within traditional church structures, which is why it is always important to keep challenging them, as even Jesus did when their behaviors run contrary to tenets and axioms of what God requires. It is at this point in time where choosing which kind of energy: fear or love will determine whether we evolve forward or backward. For a moment, let me also use science to support this argument.
So, there is also a natural blue print for life as we know it from a scientific perspective which I will explore in a deeper sense in my next post, so I’ll just give you a taste…Teilhard spoke about the necessary precursors to the development of consciousness in humans:
To culminate in humanity at the stage of reflection, life must have been preparing a whole group of factors for a long time and simultaneously. It is true that in the end, from the organic point of view, the whole metamorphosis (i.e. evolution) leading to humans depends on the question of a better brain. But…how was this cerebral perfectioning carried out–how could it have worked–if there had not been a whole series of other conditions brought together at just the same time? The birth of reflective thought marked a critical transformation–a mutation from zero to “everything.” But that birth could be compared with the emergence of a fetus from the womb. The baby at that point still must undergo constant growth before they would become a mature complete human. So it is with humanity: what first issued across the threshold of reflective thought was not yet a complete human, but rather a sort of pre-human. If the creature from which humans evolved had not been a biped, their hands would not have been free in time to release the jaws from their prehensile function, and the thick band of maxillary muscles which had imprisoned the cranium could not have been relaxed. Thanks to two-footedness freeing the hands, the brain was able to grow; and thanks to this too, the eyes (brought closer together on the diminished face) were able to converge and fix on what the hands held and brought before them–the very gesture which formed the external counterpart of reflection. How is it then, that we are not more sensitive to the presence of something greater than ourselves moving forward within us and in our midst.
In conclusion, I will say this about freedom on a higher plane: God gives us individually the right and power to develop our blueprint without hinderance or restraint, but also with the understanding that we do so within the context of being a part of the body of Christ. It is in this context that embracing the power of love, which is the source of our existence and the power by which, in all its expressions, we will keep evolving forward. Like the famous line in the Beatles tune “The End” says: ‘And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make’…
I spent the afternoon working on a drawing in the next in a series of epiphanies and a sketch of a new painting…and thinking about what was next on living on a higher plane when I had my own epiphany. I am angry at what is happening in our country right now, in the state of Minnesota where I grew up and spent half my life.
I know many people are angry, and I won’t limit the anger to just what is happening in America, any kind of injustice affects us all, regardless of where we are on this beautiful globe because we are all connected in some way, shape, or form. So, it is my stance that everything that happens sends ripples outward to the rest of the world, and I would like an opportunity to intensify the energy of all the righteous anger out there by pleading to everyone that it be rooted in love. And the power of that love can move mountains. Let me say first that it is a fallacy to believe that there is no room for anger when wielding love and existing on a higher plane. Jesus was angry plenty of times, but he was always motivated by love, like when he turned out the money lenders at the temple because they were denigrating the sacred, or when he rebuked the disciples who tried to turn away the children brought to him saying that the Kingdom of Heaven belonged to the likes of them, or when the church hierarchy showed no compassion or love to a man with a withered hand, and most importantly, how he rebuked the Scribes and Pharisees for the depth of their hypocrisy. I also believe that he would be just as angry at what is happening in Minnesota with two unjustified killings, and the complete disregard for the rule of law and compassion for those immigrants, many of which were detained in violation of the law and were shown absolutely no mercy like the Savior commands of us as followers. I say these things dispassionately because I did do my research, and I do know the law, and you would have to be willfully ignorant of the most basic foundational principles and axioms of our Constitution, or blindly and ridiculously naïve, or are simply so tied to a particular bias that you refuse to believe what is right in front of your eyes. To believe the messages of this administration, in all the false representations they have been pedaling when there is definitive proof to the contrary, and are also asked to disregard what you can see with your very own eyes, means living and existing on a higher plane is just not for you. I don’t say this lightly…because to stand for what can only be called a master class in gaslighting and behavior that stands in direct opposition of the most basic tenets of our Christian faith, hell against the most basic tenets of how we are expected, as civilized people of this great country, to comport themselves mean that you have chosen fear over love and lies over truth and will have to live by the consequences of that choice.
So be angry and act on it…but let me be clear, the source by which those actions are fueled means everything. Any action forward must be powered by the proper motivation: love and not fear. The goal must be positive and honestly address the problem of the moment which simply stated is defending and treating those who are seen as the least of us as if they were Christ, because all God’s people are of consequence, loving our neighbors as ourselves all while acting within the laws and tenets laid out in our Constitutional principles and laws that we all must abide by if we are to move forward together. We the people, are the core of this nation, not those who would place themselves above us by claiming positions of power and authority. The people of Minnesota have shown the rest of this country and the world how to channel righteous anger into powerful examples of efficacious love, by supplying food, gathering to watch over their neighbors, supporting affected local businesses, soliciting legal help, peaceful marches, prayers and vigils, and presence and protests in subzero weather, filming and keeping those in power accountable and standing for truth and justice against tyranny, and joining their voices together in large and small ways to challenge the assaults on personal freedoms protected by this great country that are not acceptable. Those who choose to live on a higher plane have to know that all real power does not come of this world or any political ideology, but from the God of love. Love is sovereign, not fear. Love is sovereign, not control. Love is sovereign, not forceful violence. Love is sovereign, not the dissemination of lies over truth.
In truth, I hated writing this post…but to remain silent would make me complicit in the destruction of so many essential connections and parts of the Body of Christ, and I can’t do that. Living on a higher plane demands actions that are in accordance to the power of love as scripture defines it:
Love is patient,
love is kind.
It is not jealous,
It is not pompous,
it is not inflated,
it is not rude,
it does not seek its own interests,
it is not quick-tempered,
it does not brood over injury,
it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.
