Tag: daily thoughts

Waiting at the Well

woman at the wellIn the Gospel of John, Jesus functionally begins his ministry at a Samaritan well talking to a woman.  I say he functionally began his ministry, because he had just left the desert from being baptized by John the Baptist.  So what a place to start: not only with a woman, but a Samaritan woman, and even more so, a Samaritan woman of ill repute.  What makes this particular event so powerful is that just prior to this conversation in the previous chapter comes the famous line he spoke to the Pharisee Nicodemus: “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but have eternal life.”  We never get Nicodemus immediate response, but from Jesus we get an inclination that he wasn’t completely sold on the idea: Jesus makes it clear that those who prefer the cloak of darkness and fear exposure of their wickedness are already condemned. So after journeying to Samaria, while his disciples had gone to look for food, he stopped for a drink of water.  What followed, (I will make you read it for yourself) was nothing short of remarkable…especially given the timing.

I think it is remarkable because he not only spoke to this woman of ill repute, but he talked to her as if she were anyone else of equal value.  She was the first person who, when told he was the Messiah, believed him right then and there. (Nicodemus was most probably still pondering the idea and the disciples were amazed he was talking to a woman and concluded he simply needed to eat something). You see this is of utmost importance because he knew all about her disreputable past, appreciated her telling the truth, and then offered her everything, because she, like all those who came after her, were in need of and wanted everything he offered.  She wasn’t afraid of the truth, of being exposed.  And yet I still wondered, why her?  Jesus must have recognized a remarkable quality in her, because even though she was a woman of ill repute, when she went back into the village saying, “He told me everything I have ever done, could he be the Messiah?” they actually came.  She wasn’t afraid of her wickedness, like perhaps many of those who feared Jesus. She wanted the light.

What would his ministry have looked like had Nicodemus believed him right away instead of perhaps falling into his fear of exposure.  What if it was he who ran and said to the people “I have met the Son of man who will bring us eternal life”  maybe Jesus whole ministry would have transpired differently.  The Samaritan woman stood in truth when exposed and that made all the difference in the world.

Money Lenders in the Temple

jesus-vs-money-changersThe last time Jesus rode into Nazareth, he did so with the aplomb of a King.  He had reached the conclusion of his ministry, celebrated by ringing voices “Hosanna to the son of David: Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord; Hosanna in the highest.  At the pinnacle of his ministry, he entered the temple and trashed all those merchants buying and selling saying, “It is written: ‘My house shall be a house of prayer’ but you are making it a den of thieves”  Then he healed the sick and lame and irritated pretty much everybody who had any status whatsoever.  He even withered a fig tree that wasn’t bearing fruit and cursed it to never bear fruit again…and when asked how the tree withered immediately, he said something that has become one of my very favorite phrases EVER: “Amen I say to you, if you have faith and do not waver, not only will you do what has been done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain: ‘Be lifted up and thrown into the sea’ it will be done.  Whatever you ask for in prayer with faith you will receive”  BOOYAH!

So who do you think our modern money lenders are?  Here’s my take…Anyone who acts under the auspices of faith and uses it to gain advantage or influence.  You and I both know who those kind of people are.  Here’s the thing.  At that moment, riding into Jerusalem, Jesus could have used his new-found adulation from the people to do pretty much anything he wanted.  But instead, he upset the apple cart and made it very clear what needed to be done was challenge the status quo.  They weren’t bearing fruit or building the kingdom, so they were done.  Things were going to change.  But he also let us know that we had the same power to make the changes he did…enough to move mountains.  Anything asked in prayer with faith…and what people forget is that he instructed us how to pray as well.  He said to pray in secret, don’t pray like the hypocrites so that everyone will see, do it in private where your Father who sees in secret will repay you.  The bottom line? You can never fake out God.  He knows our hearts.  He knows the hearts of those who profit publicly on his name too.  I guess I would rather move mountains than gain approval.

The buying and selling of influence under the auspices of faith is the barren fig tree that Jesus withered.  If you are not bearing fruit from your faith, if you are not keeping the temple ground sacred, then you are done…just like the money lenders and those hypocrites who pray to be seen.  All of us have at times had barren patches, I’m not really talking about that, but when you make a claim to be one who bears fruit in name only, and do nothing?  Well, that is a whole different story.  People of consequence, who really believe and have faith in prayer and do it secretly to the Father will move mountains.

Of Consequence and Consequences

Jesus and the sanhedrinI’ve embraced that breaking out in a cold sweat will be the new normal as I write this first post for the new year.  After the title popped into my head I knew I needed to write before I lost my nerve.  Here goes.

Every person on this earth is of consequence.  Everyone.  God’s plan for the world is weakened, altered whenever we lose sight of this most fundamental idea; we are in this together.  How do I know this?  Just read the Bible, actually most Holy Scriptures.  Since I am a Christian, this is how I know this.  In Jesus’ wheelhouse of people, he spent the majority of his time with the least desirable, most despised, greatest sinners…etc.  He chose simple fishermen for his disciples, and often the oddest of people to dine with and talk to.  His reach went beyond the limitations of class, ethnicity, religion and politics; everyone mattered.  Everyone deserved to hear his message  He especially avoided those who had held the prestige of class and distinction….because they had forgotten who God was, and how to build up His Kingdom.

I don’t think it is difficult to draw a parallel to modern culture.  We have become as exclusive, judgmental, bigoted and narrow-minded as those who were threatened by Jesus in his day.  We have forgotten who God is and how to build up His Kingdom.  To twist the words of Jesus to exclude and redefine who is acceptable to God is nothing short of blasphemy.  So don’t.  God celebrates every one of us, he doesn’t make mistakes.  I hope that isn’t a hard pill to swallow, because to each of you who really hates a section of the population for whatever reason…stop, because they are precious in God’s eyes.

Ouch, I know that can be harsh.  So I have to see preciousness in the people who literally make my skin crawl? Yes.  That doesn’t mean that we all go hug a random criminal or (insert name of the faction of the population you hate the most).  So here is where I move beyond “of consequence” and on to consequences.  Saying the phrase, “of consequence” and believing it is hard.  Most people I know are insecure and struggle, in a variety of ways, with low self esteem…that includes those who appear über confident and present the illusion to the world that their shit doesn’t stink.  It is what drives the angry divisive, bullying behavior of people today.  Those who really believe they are precious, essential, loved and important just don’t behave that way.  I also think it is why people refuse to accept responsibility for their own choices, and how that is manifested, I suppose, is different for each person.  For example, I think the one of the reasons the Pharisees hated Jesus so much is that he took their power over the people away.  If Jesus was the Messiah they had been waiting so long for, they were no longer formidable.  Their self-worth depended on knowing more, having more power, the exclusivity of being the God’s chosen people, rendering them more important that everyone else.  Jesus virtually pulled the rug out from under their belief of who the Messiah would be, not a mighty King, but a loving servant.  That could not have set well.  They were precious in God’s eyes and yet there were dire consequences of what they did.  How are we supposed to love that?

Being “of consequence” will never render the “consequences” of any our actions in the world null and void.  We all live by the choices we make and often suffer the fallout of choices others make.  We have to hold others accountable, but only in a way that offers the possibility of being “of consequence” again.  I’m not naive, the world has some pretty evil stuff going on.  But remember that we are not alone, God is truly with us and for us…all of us.  And until we can believe that we are all precious in His sight, even though we all sin, we have to stop throwing stones, the kind that destroy and not build up.  We have to stop blaming the government, the 1%, the poor, ethnicity, ideology… the list goes on and on.   Jesus said, that whatever you do for the least of these, you do for me.  Holding ourselves and others accountable while still seeing the worth in all sinners is how we grow and how we grow to understand God.  I just want people to understand that the kind of choices we make change when we look in the mirror and believe that the person who is looking back matters, is important, and is an expression of God’s great creative mind.  Because if you can’t see God’s creation when you look in the mirror, you won’t be able to see it in others either.

 

 

Angels in Disguise

holy spiritIn a world where so much goes wrong, it can be easy to wonder where all the heavenly help has gone. You know, you hear all those stories of mystical beings springing out of nowhere to save the day, never to be found again to be thanked, but I wonder…is that the exception for angelic behavior, or the rule? I know Jesus inferred many times that heralded help may not always be what it appears, wolves in sheep’s clothing, thieves in the night. So how do we know? Is it a good standard to escape the pain and difficulty that are almost essential to mastering the game of life? Is it logical to surmise that when things go our way, heaven is behind us and when they don’t we are being punished or plagued by a demon? I say unequivocally, no it isn’t logical…but then again neither is God. That isn’t to say that God can’t behave logically. God just isn’t defined by it. Logic is a human invention to help make sense of life and discover truth. It will never be a primary tool to uncover and understand the divine.

So then, it’s complicated. If heaven is beyond and not limited by our comprehension, how do we know when help is near…and more importantly when it’s not, and we are just being duped into deeper and deeper illusion? That’s when I rely on the teachings of Jesus. I truly believe in the realm of angels, because Jesus did. And while I may not understand all that entails, I do understand Jesus when he described the different kinds of people who would follow his words.  The parable of the sower in Matthew 13 is a perfect description of those who abide by his teachings: there are those who are more shallow and the words never take hold, those who don’t hold them deep enough and forget the minute things get rough, those whose would use them for their own thorny purpose and choke the life out the message, and finally, those who let them deep into the soul and nurture them till they bear fruit. I always pray that I am of the latter, but time and humility will tell.

That’s how I feel about angels. I am aware that I need a lot of help if I am to nurture this seed of faith that I’ve been given. In hindsight, though, my personal magical moments hardly ever consisted of being swooped up and saved by a heavenly messenger, rather it usually meant knowing I could survive the pain of heaven peeling away the darkness and replacing it something brighter and more pure, whatever the situation. Angels don’t make our lives easier, they help us make it better, and that sometimes means harder. They direct us down a better road, often the least traveled or obvious. They help us defy and ascend logic by demanding faith in that which we cannot yet see, but have been told to be real. Their presence is with us all the time, yet because of free will, requires our permission to assist in sowing the sacred soil of the soul.  The fruit of which, is to extend an angelic hand to someone else, not necessarily to save, but to serve.

Embracing Karma

IMG_1968Karma has been a huge thing in my life, you know the concept of what ever you put out in the universe comes back to you tenfold.  I embrace this philosophy in particular, not only because it inspires hope in doing what I think is right regardless of whether or not my motivation is apparent, but also because the universe has seen fit to keep my comeuppance to about 10 seconds, when I don’t do what I know is right.  I’ve learned that it is much easier to just tell the truth, be honest and accept responsibility when necessary.  I know that God understands me to the core, and also that as pig-headed as I can be, I generally learn my lesson.

A while ago, (the spiral perm says it all) I was hired to speak at a large city church about perspective, being wounded and forgiveness.  There were to be a few hundred people there, and my talk focused around an elementary school teacher I had, that according to my recollection had treated me quite unfairly (she once made me stick my head in the desk to suffer the humiliation of Eve).  Thoughts of her always made me feel sad and wounded, and it was truly my first experience of being judged as a “naughty girl”  I even think that I was going to forgive her at the end of the speech.

Just as I was about to take the pulpit, the pastoral minister approached me and said that someone had seen my name in the bulletin and wanted to say hello before I started.  I know you know exactly who it was.  It was that teacher.  She literally ran over to me, grabbed me in an embrace and said that she always wondered what happened to one of her favorite students, yeah, I know.  I was baffled.  How had she retained such different memories?  I was completely thrown off my game and gave one of the first extemporaneous speeches of my career.  I  can’t even remember what I said…except that once I realized that my hurt was more personally manufactured than an actual occurrence, I immediately began to wonder how many people out there remembered me as “that person” who was a cause of pain, and was completely clueless about it.

Perspective is a funny thing.  Sometimes we are completely unaware of what we are throwing out there.  What we may see as good and right, maybe hurtful to another.  I am always mindful of that when I walk in the world.  I trust the universe will always let me know when I need clarity.  Now, when I think of that teacher, I am mindful not to waste emotional energy on perhaps a flawed perspective.  She has become a part of a great life lesson instead of a lingering memory of a hurt little girl.

The In-Between

roads-divergingWhile I don’t claim to stand in the middle on every issue, knowing how passionately I feel about some things, I do venture there all the time.  Mostly, because I don’t trust my own bias.  I have learned throughout all my studies, in theology, education, leadership, and the law, that a singular perspective rarely reveals a complete truth.  Looking at an issue from inside the shoes of an opposite view can reveal a lot.  I have to admit I’ve understood a greater truth when I’ve ventured off my polar end and visited the other side of an issue.  What saddens me the most is that I get the distinct impression that acknowledging bias is akin to admitting a deep weakness or lack of faith in one’s ideals.  Even more so is the judgment from both ends that to venture off my post is being a flip-flopper or worse yet, a challenge my commitment to this country.

Looking at a problem from a 360 degree angle is the best way to understand it.  I have said it so many times before that I’ve begun to wonder if too many people have drunk the Kool-Aid offered by those who simply want to perpetuate the vitriol.  I am sickened by our Congress, just sickened, with law suits, temper tantrums, and hypocrisy.  It doesn’t take a genius to recognize that there are problems in this country, and I believe it is not unpatriotic to make that statement.  We are not the best anymore.  It is not the fault of our president, or the 1%.  We all have had a hand in the mess we are in, created by this horrible partisan war that is so stuck on blaming someone, in the most horrible fashion I might add, that we are no different than the Hatfields and the McCoys.  The response no less stupid, childish, and dangerous and plays to the weakest flaws of humanity.

So let me share these conclusions after hanging in the in-between: guns are a problem in this country…too many people have died, especially children.  So, second amendment extremists: just shut-up.  And to the invasion of privacy by our government: knock it off, we are not the Soviet Union.  Regarding the income disparity: The 1% have too much power, because money does talk…period.  To those who are struggling: I know how you feel, but working hard and innovation does work, feeling sorry for yourself and succumbing to being a victim does not.  I am amazed and proud how many helping hands are out there for those who are willing to invest in themselves and not rely on someone else fixing the problem.  I have honestly come in equal contact with innovative wealthy and poor, who are great hard working people who should be honored and not pigeon-holed into a stereotype.  It just isn’t fair.  But I’ve also met my share of slimy, entitled assholes too, both wealthy and poor, who would sell their soul for a better piece of the pie.  Neither end can claim freedom from skeleton’s in their closets…humanity is just too flawed.

What I worry about the most, though, standing in the in-between, is how little outrage there is, beyond hating the president, and immigrants, guns and the 1%, for the future of our children.  Sure, I’ve heard both side make claims that it’s the children they are fighting for, yet our public schools are still failing; children are deteriorating, both physically, mentally and spiritually.  The programs that could help them never come to fruition because there are too many powerful lobbies that keep standing in the way…and personal bias.  Our children are our greatest resource…we should be investing the most money in them, yet we don’t.  Any way you look at it is always a bad thing to allow children to fail.

There is one concluding issue I want to address while I am standing in the in-between.  It is a balancing act to hold true to a principle and yet remain open to the best way to handle it in a country of varied principles.  Yet, for this great American experiment to continue working, that is the most important commitment of holding a governmental office.  I know that those elected can’t always support my personal agenda, most intelligent people would understand that.  And I don’t use the word intelligent lightly…because I think there is an astonishing lack of intelligence in government today.  There is a definite blurred line when it comes to who has the proper training and credentials to run for office.  We should demand only the best and brightest to take on the complicated business of running our country…which is why I take great offence to people like Joe Blow who think they can do a better job, just like I wouldn’t want a plumber to do surgery on me, any more than I would want a plumber as a president.   I mean no disrespect to plumbers…I trust them implicitly by having them fix any and all problems at my house. As one who studied law, though, I do believe that lawyers better understand the intricacies of all that the constitution demands and are better suited for higher office.  That is my personal bias, challenged quite often, which is why after my venture to the in-between, I learned to be open to those who are committed to service because they are called to do so…but only after they become prepared by understanding the workings of government and putting personal agenda’s aside for the whole of their constituency.  That is a rarity today…it just is.  Sound bites from positions on social media and cable news prove how little understanding there is about how government works.  It astonishes me, more than I can convey.  The people who claim to think they can actually do a better job with so little background is as bizarre to me as the same person thinking that they could perform surgery, without the proper training…  I believe that to the bottom of my heart….I took government and constitutional law…it’s hard, for a reason.

The one final thought I would implore those who embrace their own polarity, don’t buy into the bullshit that those on the other side are evil.  They are not.  There are wonderful people on both ends who want the same thing and are grown up enough to hammer out their difference to come up with greater solutions.  Go find them.

 

 

Bearing Burdens

559I suppose it is good that my body provides me with an unmistakable sign that my stress is out of control, that my autoimmune disease will just not tolerate.  In hindsight, which is always 20/20…I could feel it coming on…the second incidence of Bells palsy, only this time on the other side.  After an initial round of tears, the rational calm took over.  I must self-care, do all the things that I would rather ignore, but can’t.  This body of mine, broken or not, is the only tool I have to fulfill my purpose on earth…and I had better take care of it…which I haven’t.  I forget to get adjusted, do decompression, do my stretches and strength exercises…there is always so many other things to do.  I know I’m not the only one, my symptoms are staring me in the face.  Others are not so obvious.  So, take a moment, say a prayer, do something kind…for yourself.

Where is the Love?

thunderIn all sincerity, I’m not sure whether it is having spring and summer occur simultaneously that has thrown my whole rhythm off, or the unbearable nature of events. from shootings, to the ravages of mother nature, to the quagmire of American politics.  I’m sad much of the time…not the cry your eyes out kind, or the can’t get out of bed kind.  The sadness I feel is like a dull ache based on recognizing a pattern that too many people seem to miss and not feeling like I can act effectually enough to stop it.

The pattern I speak of is fear, the kind of fear that is so deeply in-bedded in our nation that we have begun to suffer a rigor mortise of the soul, expressed in both subtle and obvious ways.  Most obviously, it is expressed in the kind of partiality that blinds one to solutions because national pride lately is only celebrated in opposition to something else, such as guns, the government, climate change, the poor, etc.  In more subtle ways is the complete lack of civil discourse between divergent views, and sense of entitlement that isn’t extended beyond a small group of like-minded individuals.  I know I’m personally tired of being written off, or pigeon holed into a particular ideology that I certainly am not contained by because I ask questions and try to look at a situation from a multitude of perspectives.  The political flavors of the moment are too honed into a blanket kind of hate, blame, and judgment of anyone who harbors a different idea than one’s own. Personal responsibility rarely enters the picture. What is most disturbing, though, is the religious imprimatur that is often used to justify such ignorance and fear.

Jesus says that the truth will set us free, and the way to truth is through him…and he is LOVE.  Love will set us free.  So let us practice love, first and foremost.  Fear will be our demise, if we don’t utilize the powers we’ve been given…  And so I offer a reminder of our greatest gifts:  1 Corinthians 13:1-13


1 If I speak in human and angelic tongues 2 but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal.

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And if I have the gift of prophecy and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge; if I have all faith so as to move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing.

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If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.

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3 Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, (love) is not pompous, it is not inflated,

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it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury,

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it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.

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It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

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4 Love never fails. If there are prophecies, they will be brought to nothing; if tongues, they will cease; if knowledge, it will be brought to nothing.

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For we know partially and we prophesy partially,

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but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away.

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When I was a child, I used to talk as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I put aside childish things.

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At present we see indistinctly, as in a mirror, but then face to face. At present I know partially; then I shall know fully, as I am fully known.

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5 So faith, hope, love remain, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

With Privilege, comes Responsibility

privilegeI tell my sons this all the time.  Much of the lifestyle we live, is earned and I am proud of that.  As much, however, is not.  I am always mindful of that I live in a rich country, have freedoms that others fought for, have the ethnicity that offers more opportunity to me than to others.  I am gifted spiritually by Grace, and perfected by God’s sacrifice.  I am NOT entitled to anything, except the opportunity to love as Jesus did and help bring light to a world that often seems dimmed by smoke and subterfuge…so that we cannot see that we are blessed, created by and vindicated by God.

I can’t help thinking that if we really believed that we were greatly privileged, and wore that greatness as a badge of honor, we would embrace the responsibility to love and honor each other so much more easily.  We’ve been lulled into believing that we will never have enough, will never be enough, and the world’s acceptance matters.  We should be better at it by now, you know, loving one another and being the Body of Christ.  We are way too obsessed about gaining what is rightly ours…when nothing really is, in this temporal world, all is fleeting and none of it will matter in the next world.

I know it doesn’t mean we stop practically living in the world, but we would live differently if we really believed that we could.  I think that is what Jesus meant when he said, “Sell all you have and follow me”.  With the privilege of Grace, comes responsibility.

Getting my Sparkly Back

bodyglitterYes, I do know that it has almost been a month since my last post.  Plagued by a very late starting spring, resulting in compressing all the things that should have been done by now into the very shortest measure of time before the 5 minutes of summer comes, I was in danger of shedding my sparkly Pollyanna skin to something more dark, sinister and leathery…hence the silence.  I discovered, that I can handle the major stuff in life with relative ease, that is where my problem-solving, common sense super power kicks in.  Those irritations like: lost keys, wallets, glasses, bikes, forms…none of which are mine but somehow fall into my purview of responsibilities; broken things that interrupt the flow of the day, like the computer my son just built that shuts down 10 times a day…of course he’s only finished his freshman year in computer engineering, or the eroding land that may cause our pool to fall into a ravine; and those never-ending tasks of life that you swear you just took care of and like going through a time warp, there they are again demanding attention like running out of toilet paper, kitty food, dish soap, laundry soap, razor blades, etc…; and lastly, all the man things that I live with every day too numerous to list here.  All these irritations have worn my sparkly skin down to paper thinness, so I can see the serpent skin underneath.  What’s worse are the responses I get from the men in my house: “I didn’t touch it”, “Just dump some dirt on it”, “Just turn it back on”,  I’ll do it later (loose translation, NEVER) or my least favorite, “Just buy a new one”.  It is just not acceptable…I almost died…of irritation.

So, that explains the silence.  I saw my weakness and got help, not the psychological kind, but someone who will clean my house and organize the chaos, so those other irritations don’t kill me.  Now, I don’t have to worry that the fire coming out of my mouth will burn everything in it’s wake.  My sparkly skin is coming back…even through the gob of flem I just cleaned out of the many used glasses that the men in my house love to spit in…I will survive.

In the Blink of an Eye

illuminationLate last night I received news as I anxiously set my alarm so my son and I could witness the blood moon lunar eclipse that a high school friend of mine had died this past summer.  It completely took the wind out of my sails, since I had literally just done a search for her on the internet.  Most probably the obituary didn’t come up because I included her maiden name in the search, and I felt horrible that I hadn’t had a chance to reconnect like I’ve done with many other friends from the past.  Those of us messaging in that moment talked about a reunion of our Young Life friends, a group I was involved in during high school.  So many good memories, and most importantly, so many building blocks that were essential in becoming the woman I am today.

We don’t celebrate those friendships like we should.  I missed the chance to tell Ardy how much she meant in my life, I will try harder to not miss other chances that come my way.  So here is a challenge: post a shout out or memory of a person who influenced you, and thank them…I’m sure you will make their day!

Embracing the Simple Things

hand_wateringI used to spent a long time pondering why Jesus used such simple parables and metaphors in sharing the blueprint for building the Kingdom of God.  It all seems so basic and simple, yet we are still so far from the goal. This is how I explain why: if we can’t begin to see God in the smallest scenarios of our own lives, and apply those simple truths to everyday experiences, then there is no possible way for us to begin to apply them on a grander scale, or to use his parables, like planting a seed in shallow ground, or those who pray for just show.  Jesus’ stories eliminate every excuse we can manufacture for why we don’t live God’s  dream for us everyday.   So, while I do try to learn from those simple parables, I try not to focus on my failures but become inspired in even the simplest of tasks I can do that work for change and growth.  Who knows what the result will be far down the line, but it is encouraging to know that every small effort is part of something infinitely larger, that even in my small way I help create the stuff that dreams are made of.  I may not live long enough to see the fruits of my labor, but I am thankful that my effort, whatever comes of it down the line, can be like the mustard seed that Jesus spoke of, so small, but when planted deep into good soil, and nurtured will become  something much bigger and greater.

Finding Fun

the original paintingMy paintingYes, its been awhile….but I was taught that if you can’t say something nice, or at least of substance, don’t say anything at all.  I think this ungodly winter just did me in.  So I tried to find fun in cooking new things, reading good books and writing a play I’ve started. And while those things certainly are proactive ways to hold on to the little sanity I have left, they really weren’t that noteworthy. Last night, though, I was lucky enough to delve back into the fun kind of art that we used to do as kids, (except with wine).  There is this place where you can go with a group of friends and drink wine and paint a replica of a famous painting.  What  blast!  I have not picked up a paint brush since high school, and while I am still without talent, I do remember how much fun it was mixing colors and splashing them on a canvas.  It was pure fun and I highly recommend it to everyone!  I have never promoted anything here, but this is worth it, the name of the company is Cheers Pablo, if you simply want to unleash your inner child and experience laughter and pure joy, Google it.  The first painting is the original, the next is me hiding behind mine…

Mastering Ordinary Love

The song “Ordinary Love” by U2 sparked a notion in me that substantiates a belief that I’ve had for a long time.  Here is the link:

These particular words strike a chord:

“We cannot fall any further if we can’t feel ordinary love, and we cannot reach any higher if we cannot deal with ordinary love”

It seems all too often, that many Christians bypass mastering the skills of ordinary love to claim expertise in the extraordinary love of God… in reality, if we can’t master the basics, if we bypass the difficult process of learning to love as Jesus taught us, the simple everyday expression of patience, kindness, slowness to anger and judgement, walking in another’s shoes etc., we can NEVER comprehend the extraordinary love of God, and love as God does.  In a sense, it is like bypassing all that comes before any high achievement and claiming entitlement to the prize anyway.

Let me be clear, mastering ordinary love is different from sharing in the grace bestowed on us by Christ’s great sacrifice.  That gift isn’t earned, it  is free to all, but mastering love only comes with often painstaking practice and experience.  Grace is the conduit to an endless source, which only is as powerful as our ability to master ordinary love and infuse it into the world.  That is what Jesus meant when he said: “they will know you are my disciples by how you love one another.”  It doesn’t have to be complicated…it’s all laid out in the Gospels.  It is putting it to work every single day, as strenuously as we would an exercise program, with no shortcuts, that creates a Master.

 

 

Birkie Fever

Birkie finishacross the lakeice beardEvery year in February, when the weather (especially this year) becomes almost too unbearable and spring is a distant memory…a fever begins to build here in the tundra.  Chatter about conditions, grooming, weather, training, technique and fueling the fire are constant.  An obsession to train regardless of the conditions, this year including continuous subzero temps, all hinges on one magical race: The American Birkebeiner.  The Birkebeiner is always held on the fourth Saturday of February in Hayward Wisconsin.  The race runs from Cable to Hayward, a 52 kilometer feat that is daunting enough for a beginner to feel as if they climbed Mount Everest and still difficult enough to qualify as a World Loppet for seasoned professionals.  Thousands of skiers in multiple waves, depending on your qualifying time, start at the same point and begin a journey that truly binds them into an elite brother/sisterhood.

Nothing compares to it.  There is something completely insane about skiing 32 1/2 miles in skin-tight uniforms, freezing faces and beards, multiple clouds from the moisture of warm breath hitting ice-cold conditions, lungs burning from bitch hills and the euphoria that comes from successfully making it to the top over and over again.  But they do it, every year without fail.  The hours after skiing across the lake and downtown Hayward over the finish line, is spent replaying the best and worst moments and making a plan to do even better the next year.

What is also amazing is how well this international feat usually plays out.  There are no worries about crime and violence.  A town of a few thousand transforms to 10 times that amount and handles the influx with ease.  This year, the warming tent had some problems, but that won’t stop the fever, it just gives the participants a point of reference when they talk about the many Birkies they’ve done.  It connects people from all over the world; knowing someone has done the Birkie breaks down walls and creates immediate friendships.  If you can ski that far in long underwear, you must be a quality human being.  I agree.  All the qualities it takes to finish that race, are qualities that will make you shine as a human being.  I just don’t think bad-hearted people could do it…it’s too hard, stamina like that demands hard training that is developed over time, there are no short cuts.

Sadly, I wish I could be one of the many that partakes…my broken spine won’t allow it.  I can say that have I biked the trail, so I know how grueling it is (the black flies biting at my ass were a great incentive to keep going).  I live vicariously through my husband and close friends that partake in this joyful insanity.  This is the kind of fever you hope is infectious, to inspire every other challenge one faces in life…even if it is simply tolerating winter until spring.

 

Foodie

clementine chickensweet potato and black bean chiliportabello and eggspaghetti squash casseroleavacado hummusbake chicken with sweet potato and carrotsThe phrase, “eating healthy is too expensive” causes such a deep visceral reaction in me that I literally see red.  I have to take a beat and get to my zen place before I respond.  We are a wasteful nation with horrible priorities.  It frustrates me that people spend more on cars, than their own bodies.  It saddens me that people can drop a wad on vacation, tanning package, and wardrobe included, but will consciously put toxins in their bodies.  It’s acceptable to spend copious amounts of money on making a body look good, and completely disregard what it needs to function.  Eating healthy doesn’t have to cost all that much, except that you’ll live longer…which costs money too.  It is all about perspective.  The money you spend at the grocery store, will save you money that you may otherwise spend at the doctor’s office, future prescriptions and heaven help any other malady you may come down with after eating crappy food and damaging your body for so long.

A body can not thrive on packaged, processed and chemically corrupted foods, or eating foods that make you feel ill afterwards, foods you may have a sensitivity to that subsequently run havoc on your body’s ability to function optimally.  It is time to stop whining and start treating your body right.

I believe the body is a temple.  It is the only tool we have to live our life to the fullest.  It is a biological masterpiece that deserves the same luxury treatment you give your car, or your pet, or whatever other indulgence that takes precedence.  It doesn’t have to be hard, we all have busy lives…but it does have to be a priority.

Pray it Forward

praying handsYesterday I was just bored.  Bored with the cold weather, bored with life and its problems and bored with my prayers.  So I decided to change things up a bit and pray for those out there who don’t have the wherewithal to pray, who are too broken, too arrogant or just too ignorant to know that the necessary help is right there, waiting to be tapped.  I prayed so that their eyes may be opened, and their hearts filled with love so they could see the world in a new way.  I prayed also that my judgement on what they needed would not factor in to the equation…because we all have a bias about what people need.  I prayed that God’s will be done and not mine, even if the outcome was to bless those that I don’t think deserve it, or challenge those that I believe do.  If a random act of kindness can create a ripple effect of kindness, think of what a random act of prayer can do.

Being Remarkable

baby maryOn occasion, I will have a dream that is not only eye-opening, but trans-formative in its effect.  The details are not important, but the resulting clarity is.  How many of us can look in the mirror and with no doubt look at one’s reflection and see a remarkable person looking back?  I do, and for some reason I have always felt bad about that.  What I woke up this morning understanding, is that a large part of why I am remarkable is two-fold:1) recognizing the amazing gifts I’ve been given, now before you throw up…2) the remarkable part is that I also understand that I am as equally flawed…deeply so, which is also a gift in and of itself.  I know that I am flawed, and I’m OK with that…because you can only change what you can see.  When I became open to seeing my flaws, I could also see remarkable talent (please don’t get tired of the word…we all need to use it more often) 

We spend so much energy covering up the flaws that we think we have, so we can look perfect on the outside, that we refuse to recognize the raw materials that each of us were given to work with.  Those raw materials can’t be honed until we recognize that they exist.  Insecurity, low self-esteem, false pride, platitudes, and the inability to be objective about the lessons we are all given but refuse to learn from, keep us from seeing those gifts.  Wasting energy wallowing in the fact that we are flawed is wasted energy, developing gifts, can help us transform those flaws into virtues.

The most important thing I learned from my dream is that being able to see myself objectively is one of the things that makes me remarkable.  I am genuinely surprised when others can’t see themselves the same way….because they don’t see themselves as remarkable when they look in the mirror.  I am committed to pointing out the remarkable and not assuming that you know it.  The flaws you can figure out for yourself.

A Witch’s T*t has Nothing up against this Wisconsin Winter….

cold in febI’m tired of talking about it…the freakishly low temps, the unbearable wind, the school closings, the car troubles, the black ice. My hands are cracked and bleeding people!  I want to get up my drive way without taking a running start!  I don’t want to get up in the middle of the night and go outside to clear out the air exchange pipe that fills up with snow and subsequently turns off the furnace.  Even my soft pink ear muffs and scarf and the cutesy tricks like throwing a hot cup of water into the air and watching it turn into snow will not make me smile.  The Uggs I used to love, I now HATE!!! I know I optimistically said that 2014’s focus was that the road was open…let me add an addendum to that idea: while the road may be open and unobstructed, let me walk that road with out 300 lbs of clothing, and the cilia in my nose freezing.

The Subtly of Grace

power of emotionThis picture represents a simple idea, we can change a single molecule by our thoughts and words.  For more info on the picture check this link: http://www.whatthebleep.com/water-crystals/ But his ideas led me to what I had to say about the growing darkness in this world on a past post:

I remember teaching  moral issues long ago, when I tried to impress upon the sophomore class the subtleties in making a moral decision.  Right and wrong, good and bad are never really black and white, rather exist in often the subtlest shades of grey.  I don’t think they could quite get their heads wrapped around the concept, perhaps it was that the examples I gave weren’t very good, like distinguishing between taking a pen from someone’s desk or locker without asking, or the last piece of pie when you’ve already had your share.  Most scoffed at how stupid I was being, and rationalized quite sensibly, that a pencil is only worth a couple of pennies, or the person would never miss it, or justify that the person excluded from the pie really didn’t need it after all and they were just doing them a favor.  What I was unable to convey, even after I thought I stated it pretty clearly, is that moral behavior, in large part, is built by developing an ability to distinguish between shades of grey….and the way to do that is one decision at a time, regardless of how simple or inane they might appear.  What can I say, I was young…and wanted them to understand that as adults, we are an accumulation of choices just like these.  If the first impulse is to justify in your mind why an action is morally ok to serve any “want” at the time then it is a clear indication that your gut is telling you that it may not be.  I learned throughout the years from very wise people, to simply take a moment to weigh my options…which in truth most often takes a few seconds.  Asking before borrowing something or choosing not to be greedy only increases our souls acuity to recognize shades of grey.   Our brains also help us continue on a moral path by creating neuro-pathways, or shortcuts to respond to situations like the ones mentioned automatically after we repeat a certain behavior after a while.   I guess that is why bad habits are so hard to break…just ask my family…it’s to the point that whenever I even open my mouth to speak their eyes roll back into their heads, and I guess I can’t blame them.  For now it is safer to opine in cyber space. 

I fear in this time, we may be losing the ability to distinguish between shades of grey and the world is growing darker.  I don’t know if it’s because there is so much corruption, rationalized behavior, and greed that we’ve accepted that the growing darkness is inevitable (or its someone else’s fault), or if it’s because  up against such darkness it is easier to look so much better in comparison.   We do live in morally dubious times, and I think the place to start cleaning up all the pollution begins with our own choices…not necessarily the ones involving pencils and pie, but the ones that trigger the rationalization response.  I know I’ve had a hard time taking my own inventory when there are so many who don’t, but it has to start somewhere.  And I know that I am in no position to throw stones, but do hold myself obligated to develop my own moral acumen…because too many of our leaders and movers and shakers in our world don’t…and why the saving of the world may very well be left in the hands of  us ordinary folk…one choice at a time. 

So it is with Grace.  Sometimes I think we believe that real power lies in those who stand in the light of infamy and fame, those names that we are familiar with, who are known by the masses.  I think that is the greatest illusion of all, perpetuated by darkness to seduce us from recognizing our own power.  How many are looking for a savior on a white horse, fearless and strong with endless power and ability to slay any adversary?  There is a reason God chooses great leaders from the simplest and most ordinary people…it is within every heart to do great things.  Each of us has the ability to use the subtly of Grace and change even water…even if we aren’t around to see their impact in the future.  Never underestimate a single gesture of Grace…the darkness never does and that is how it grows as well.  The good news is that even the subtlest of light can cast away the darkness.  Be a light.  Change the world