When There is No There, There

This is always a tough one, recognizing we all have a singular perspective and may not see things from every angle. Sometimes we rely on listening to another’s perspective when we are unable, or unwilling to move from where we are standing to see and hear it for ourselves. In this age of so much accessible information, I can understand how easy it is to just fall into to the practice of believing what someone else says is real or true. Except in this world of easily accessible information, it is also way too easy to manipulate someone by feeding them information that supports and perpetuates the bias one already has…especially on the internet, TV and social media.

Algorithms, simply put, are a set of instructions that when followed step by step solve a problem or figure something out. Something like instructions to tie your shoes, or follow a recipe or finding a book in a library are all algorithms. When computers have algorithms built into software, they work via input and output and build on reactions and expectations when you do A, B or C to get a result. It may seem weird that you purchase something or read something online, and then all of a sudden you are inundated in various apps by things that are linked to that purchase or interest. Your interests and biases are tracked and algorithms are built to recognize and link you to your desired result. Many algorithms are built to recognize and cater to a person’s desired result based on reactions to previous input by the user.

I know there are plenty of knowledgeable computer people out there who would snort at my limited expression of what an algorithm is and how it works, but for the purposes of today, I want people to understand why their world view is the way it is, and the potential dangers of it. Like I said in the beginning of this post, we all have one perspective and often rely on others to share their opinions to help expand that one perspective. It is the process of seeking, that can either lead us closer to a larger truth or just enhance the perspective that keeps us seeing what we want that world view to be that is important. For example, lets say a person despises vegetables and by their input on the computer and perhaps social groups, that particular attribute is compounded by being bombarded with information about others who despise vegetables, and even more information you click on as to why vegetables are not important, or even dangerous. Your perspective is more deeply embedded and you soon question other’s perspectives about the worth and necessity of vegetables and their worth as proven untrue by all the many pieces of information in your possession.

The weakness of the the algorithm, is that it doesn’t take much to prove the veracity of any post or perspective. It is the act of inputting requests for checking the veracity of any one perspective that broadens the output of the algorithm to a variety of different perspectives. Let’s say you look for a great recipe for a “great and easy cake” Personally, I would actually try said recipe to see if it was great and or easy before I pass it on to someone else with my endorsement. I have tried certain recipes and they were horrible! (I have a ton of food allergies and am always on the watch for replacements for my favorite traditions options). Just because a recipe says its easy and great doesn’t make it so. I have been inundated with recipes for alternatives ingredients described as the best, when I actually put them to the test, many are not.

The same does not work for information these days about so many deeply felt beliefs. People read something and pass it on as true without missing a beat, just because it appeals to their own personal perspective and justifies a bias they are rooted in, or maybe unaware they even have. A few weeks ago, I was talking to a friend about something read online about a school district putting kitty litter in the bathrooms for kids who are furries identifying as cats, and addressing teachers as cats. Now, in that moment I thought that was the stupidest thing I had ever heard. But when I researched on line, the very story caused so much trouble for a real school district the superintendent not only had to address it, but spent an inordinate amount of time diffusing it. THERE WAS NO THERE, THERE. I have learned that the idea of “identifying” as something other than male or female, creates such terror, that there are people who maliciously take advantage by using algorithms to bring people down rabbit holes and increase their fear.

That is why before I commit to seeing and hearing another’s perspective on whether THERE IS REALLY A THERE, THERE. I get out of my comfort zone and check it out for myself. In the process, I’ve not only seen and listened to people with a different identifiers, even furries to see they are nothing like how they are described and defined online. That is not to say that individuals can’t be a reprehensible example of any given group, that is just to be expected because they are human. It is the commitment to the truth that I am most concerned about when it comes to succumbing to our limited perspectives. Who you listen to matters. And as a final caveat…just because you read it on the internet or saw it on TV, doesn’t mean its true, you have to work a little bit to find out first. And Jesus did say there would be plenty of false prophets dressed up in sheep’s clothing who underneath are ravenous wolves.

Leadership, Lies and Loyalty

While it may appear that I’m being swept away by alliterations, I think that this is the most apropos way to end my discussion on leadership and lies. Think for a moment, why would anyone remain loyal, pledge their fidelity to a leader who lies to them? There are many of us who have given our fealty to people who didn’t deserve it, whether it is due to ignorance, willful or not, fear of violence, retribution or loss, perpetuating an environment that supports our own personal illusions, or because stepping away they would lose any advantage they believe they might have as a result of an association with them. I completely understand there are a myriad of reasons why people do what they do, but this isn’t about that, this is about not wanting to remain loyal to a liar. If you don’t care, move on…but if you want to grow and evolve, it would seem to make sense that any loyalties you have should grow and evolve too. This is about analyzing and letting go of loyalties that are just not good for you anymore…and while it should go without saying, the first step is to recognize and acknowledge when you are being lied to.

While I can’t comment on anyone else’s reasons for choosing who to be loyal to, I can tell you the reasons I choose. I remember a long time ago when discussing codependency, I was challenged to look into those relationships that had, but did not deserve my loyalty. Initially, standing on my “strong woman” platform my gut reaction was that that my circle was not huge and that everyone in it was already worthy of my loyalty and I theirs. I thought it would be an easy task and like many of my initial conclusions, I was so wrong. Instead of seeing who certain people really were, I saw them as who I needed them, or wanted them to be much of the time. Without going into detail, I had to decide what criteria was necessary for me to choose who to be loyal to, and secondly, based on that criteria, did the people already in my circle deserve it. And finally, was I deserving of their loyalty too, it is a two-way street after all.

My first criteria is the foundation for any and all of my deep connections I have in my life, any loyalty has to be founded in truth. Liars, carnival barkers and gas lighters need not apply. I had to evaluate whether my associations worked to my detriment or to my sustenance and growth. Did I like who I was as a result of this association, did it bring out or stifle my potential, or did it bring out my better angels and in turn, did I bring out the best in that association as well. It was and still continues to be a long and harrowing journey, because some of the constructs and people I held onto for dear life, began to dissolve before my very eyes when they didn’t hold truth anymore, and the road ahead became more ambiguous and challenging without those comforting landmarks that no longer gave me confidence and hope. I have learned that while life’s journey is filled with many people, most moving beautifully in and then out of ours lives, more often than not our personal journey is a solitary one. And after awhile, I felt comfortable seeing my sojourns as solitary ones, even in the presence, direction and companionship of any leader I choose to follow along the way. Ultimately, where I end up at the end of my life is on me. I feel as if I can see, hear, feel and understand God much better once I stopped trying to see, hear and feel God through someone else’s construct. I think that is why I have such a visceral reaction to those lying liars who lie. Loyalty to these types of leaders is inviolate, never to be questioned or challenged, and more times than not is not reciprocal.

My second criteria is responsibility. Any leader who blames everyone else for their problems, or scapegoats other groups when they get caught up in a lie, making a mistake, or acting in a way that is contrary to what they say they believe, is unworthy of my loyalty. Leaders, regardless of their effectiveness make mistakes…period. If they admit them, take responsibility for them, and learn from them, it is a sure sign that they may indeed deserve my loyalty. The phrase “the buck stops here” has so much more meaning to me now, given the state of blamers our there. I am firmly of the “those who have not sinned throw the first stone” kind of attitude when it comes to responsibility. When a leader understands that they are not infallible, I think they work harder to get it right.

My third criteria is courage. It takes courage to stand in the forefront, share your vision and ask people to follow you even when you may make mistakes, even when you tell them the road may be hard, and there will be challenges and sacrifices along the way but that a renewed commitment to those fundamental building blocks, and axioms that hold us together as a group will set our path toward success. It takes courage to say that one leader doesn’t have all the answers and that we all need to work together and use our individaul gifts collectively. It also takes courage to make choices that help foster unity and not divisiveness, regardless of how hard it is. As the apostle Paul said so eloquently:

But as it is, there are many parts, yet one body.
The eye cannot say to the hand, “I do not need you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I do not need you.”
Indeed, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are all the more necessary,
and those parts of the body that we consider less honorable we surround with greater honor, and our less presentable parts are treated with greater propriety,
whereas our more presentable parts do not need this. But God has so constructed the body as to give greater honor to a part that is without it,
so that there may be no division in the body, but that the parts may have the same concern for one another.
If (one) part suffers, all the parts suffer with it; if one part is honored, all the parts share its joy.
1Corinthians 12:20-26

So all of you leaders out there who have deemed me as inconsequential and unnecessary, or anyone else who you blame for the word’s ills because you are too cowardly to take responsibility for your own actions…you will never have loyalty from me.

An Environment for Leadership

Yes, it’s already March and I’ve yet to post, but there was much wading through necessary existential crap to be done before I could see a starting point. I could write a multitude of papers on the essential qualities of a good leader, histories of great leaders, the measurement and impact of evolutionary roads forward like I did in grad school…but I don’t think that is what this year is about. Considering the climate of the present time, and the depth of anger, misinformation and lack of any true critical thinking of the masses, I think even the second coming of Christ would have difficulty being seen as anything but another rabble rousing anti-(insert appropriate noun) dissident. And if you react adversely to the last statement, ask yourself this: how easy is it for you to lap up that latest sound bites against people or movements you hate…yah, not much use of critical thinking there.

So, it is incumbent upon all of us, I believe, to create an environment where good leaders, in whatever capacity, can succeed. What we don’t need are those kinds of leaders who divide, create fear, lie, disseminate misinformation, and encourage isolationism, all for their own power and gain. You know, the kind that creates such a frenzy of political and vitriolic illusory dust that we can’t even see straight as to who or what we are following. So, what this year will be about for me is settling the dust of anger, hate, and just bad information so we can see clearly enough to follow leaders out there who best represent what we stand for. Let me add a small caveat: what we stand for, is not the same as what we stand against. Standing against something as a primary motivation is too easy for someone with less than altruistic ideals to manipulate the anger that lies within us all who feel harmed in some way into creating the kind of mob mentality that is the source of much of the destruction we’ve seen over the last months. Let the anger we feel from injustice, help us understand and clarify what exactly it is we actually stand for, and find a way forward that is a larger reflection of those ideals. And if what you stand for is destruction and the preservation of your own self interest…you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

For me, the anger I’ve experienced since I’ve started this blog, is the disregard for truth, the hubris of the privileged few, the lack of informed civility in debate and information sharing, the tendency to scapegoat others and avoid personal responsibility, racism and the corruption of Christianity which is the source and soul of my entire existence. So that means, for me anyway, that I stand for: truth, the pursuit of happiness for all, the work that goes with being truly informed and using common decency and civility to share that information, taking responsibility for my own failings and make the necessary changes instead of blaming others, extend a listening ear and commitment to fight against the forces that unfairly marginalized people of color, ethnicity, religion and sexuality, and to declare and model with love all that my faith requires of me. I’m sure there will be more in the coming year, but I’ll start with those for now. Let me finish then with this question:…what is it that you stand for?

Leadership

I know, its February. And it wasn’t because I wasn’t sure what to write about. This year’s theme came early…even before the insurrection at the Capital…so I’ve spiritually hid in a corner for a month. What. An. Evolutionary. Crisis. I can’t even claim simple ignorance about my theme this year…I have a Master’s Degree in it. I’m not bragging, seriously, I am not. I am in a wishing I was ignorant so I can be blissful and spend this year happily learning but instead am having heart stopping moments of reckoning because knowing what I know I should have seen this coming and now I have to say stuff about it. And as much as I loved studying leadership and all the nuances of what kinds of qualities are important to any modern leader, I never particularly had any interest in leading anybody anywhere…and I still don’t. I’ve also never in my wildest dreams anticipated a world in this kind of crisis. In the worst of times I could foresee a world taken over by greedy and powerful men, or at its best foresee a world motivated and directed by ethical and insightful strong women (its my imagination so deal with it). I don’t think there is any dystopian future that I could have imagined that would be based on some of the most bizarre and baseless conspiracy theories invented by who knows who and perpetuated by the once leader of the free world. As incomprehensible as that is to me, calling the millions of people out who believe this shit must be done in a careful and calculated manner. Now, I absolutely get calling these theories “shit” is neither careful or calculated, but think of it as the initial rip off of that proverbial band aid of delusion to get their attention. These theories are “mendacious junk” (from the mouth of a particularly loquacious journalist with whom I share an imaginary verbal love affair) and must be disassembled immediately. If you are offended, I’ll take your derision with open arms because you are being led down a dark path of doom where truth doesn’t matter and fear and gossip rule and could possibly be the spark that causes the apocalypse. I can’t and won’t stand for that, I just won’t. Disagree on ideology, that’s fine but if you are as shocked and appalled as I am at what is going on with all these conspiracy theories its time to pull up our big girl/boy pants and deal.

I have always believed that the world could face any crisis through dynamic, informed leadership. I think it still can, but it is going to be a long and winding road. I’ve always also believed that faith in whatever higher power you embrace would also call forth those inspired individuals necessary to combat any crisis, I call them children of the light and I pray for them every day. But, and this is a big but, not without a good house cleaning (or exorcism…I haven’t decided which word is more appropriate yet) for both our country and church (which sadly is fueling much of pooh flying around). This year is a game changer. Too many fools out there are claiming they know the mind of God to justify their duplicitous plots, they are the thieves in wolve’s clothing that Jesus spoke about. So here begins a year of building a leader (and it is NOT me), and it begins with truth, and principled ideas and solutions that are not exclusive or restrictive.

Joy and The Kingdom

What more can I say, except what I’ve said most of the year…a year of joy is proving to be more challenging than I ever expected. I have, lately, been ruminating though, on the idea that it is indeed darkest before the dawn. I think of all the literature that I’ve read, as well as scripture, that the darkness, in desperation, works incessantly to cloud, impede, circumvent and appropriate all the progression that light, love and the building of the kingdom lays forth. For me it has truly become a observational moment, where the goats are separated from the sheep, and the quality of our character determines whether we embrace falsehood and fear, or truth and love. It has all become so clear. It is my hope, then, that the one God who made us and saved us all, who is truth and love will prevail. It is also more clear than ever that if we are going to continue on a road of truth and love that we can’t do it alone. We must join together, every last one of us, all with unique and essential gifts and parts to play in the continuing drama of our country and world’s evolution. When we act, ripples outward are created. Will they perpetuate darkness or light?

I’ve also been ruminating about the warnings of the New Testament to beware against wolves in sheep’s clothing. There are so many sparkly people who claim to be leaders of the future, who shroud themselves in flags and national rhetoric as the savior of the people. I heed this caution and shred through the illusions and watch instead their behavior and the results that come from those choices. If your words spew hate and fear it is glaringly obvious that you don’t represent the evolving future of our country. Going backwards is not evolution. Limiting the perimeters of who qualifies as worthy of liberty and justice isn’t evolution…it is the exact opposite. Investing time and energy into unfounded and conspiratorial filth completely cuts off ones ability to embrace the talents God has given an individual to bear their own good fruit. I see instead people walking around with hatchets destroying the fruits others have been laboring to build all on shaky unsubstantiated rumor. I am stunned and amazed at how easily some are swayed to believe these rumors and pass them around as truth, taking absolutely no effort to check their veracity. I think to the gospel story of the woman caught in adultery and the challenge Jesus issued to those who would stone her, “let you among you who has not sinned throw the first stone” At least in that situation, the crowd had the ability to be humbled and walk away. In today’s environment? I feel no joy in knowing that some are so entrenched in their righteousness that they would not only throw stones, but would light her on fire, and then demand that Jesus thank them for it.

I am humble enough to admit that it has taken often herculean efforts to wake up, commit to truth, wielding love and expanding the talents God has given me to bear fruit and evolve this world. I too often take personally the vitriol and judgement projected through social media and common interactions (even if it is the hatred that is spewed over the simple wearing of a mask). I find I hold my breath…a lot. It saddens me at how miserly people are with how we are facing such a crisis in our present day. So much discussion about who deserves what, always watching their own backs and pocket books. This, clearly, is amplified for people of faith. When Jesus tells the people that it is harder for a rich person to enter the gates of heaven than a camel to go through the eye of a needle, he understood the hold that wealth can bring, with out it we would have to have faith in our gifts and God to provide what we need, and as the multiplication of the loaves and fishes shows us, we truly could always have enough to share.

So to end this rambling, I have walked the way of the sheep…as prescribed by Jesus: to treat the least among me as I would Christ, to tend my gifts and bring forth fruit and pray for those on the same journey, as children of the light, truth and love that we may overcome the darkness and the fear, the lies and the judgment and celebrate the joy in this simple axiom: “Anything you ask of me in goodness shall be given to you” The focus should be on the word “goodness”, and not “given”. The Gospels have always laid a clear path on how to behave, and not what to look like, or words to say. Remember that next time someone sparkly speaks

Love in a Time of Trouble

Love, I already hate it. I figured since faith was one of my superpowers, I studied Theology and World Religions, I worked in ministry etc., that a year of love would fall easily into my wheelhouse. Nah, per my usual eye opening jaw dropping revelation once my task actually starts…it isn’t going to be that easy. I can point to hundreds of quotes, ideas, antidotes, lessons, scripture verses but none of them hit me as a place to start. The the quote from Teihard de Chardin that I used at my wedding kept coming to mind:

Someday, after mastering the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness for God the energies of love, and then, for a second time in the history of the world, (humanity) will have discovered fire.

I guess this is going to have to be more of a training exercise. How do I harness love? That is the big question…and I believe given the state of the world, there have been too far and few that are/were successful at doing so. When you compare the power of love to the wind, the force of the moon and gravity…well, I for one say we’ve been looking at the whole concept of love from the wrong direction. Because harnessing fire brought human evolution to a whole new level. Just think of what harnessing love could do. I don’t think I’m the only one who has grossly underestimated love’s power and strength. So, this year I intend to find out, and master it. I also know the first step begins with me. No one can wield love from the outside it has to come from within.

So, I get why my year of truth came before love. I don’t see the world in the same way because of last year. I can’t lie to myself or anyone else about where I begin and it isn’t always pretty. I’ve used God’s heart to augment my weak and broken one too long. I want a stronger heart…and maybe some of you do too. Let the training begin.

Truth and Water

I know I’ve said this before…be careful what you pray for…when I spoke of money in the last post and the story of the widow’s mite, giving from need instead of want etc…I should have known that I would be tested on that particular conclusion and commitment. Tuesday our water stopped running. Wednesday the phones and internet were down, I have all my neighbors coming to my house on Saturday to celebrate the season. I am making the food for said celebration…and I have no water, and until yesterday with no internet or phone, trying to fix the problem was very difficult. So, feeling like Job for a few moments, “life is but drudgery” and all that, I rallied and repeated my mantra over and over…”All will be well, all will be well and all manner of things will be well.” The irony of the word “well” wasn’t lost as I was told the diagnosis after replacing many things plumbing was: “the WELL pump is shot.” I guess I am getting what I asked for: being in need. It has taken a Herculean effort to not panic as the costs add up and yet I’m also thinking that that is the point: will being thrust suddenly in need stop me from giving? The answer is no, it will not because I am actively choosing faith, choosing God and I felt peace about that. I found a great well guy, with the suggestion of a friend and my water is again flowing. The lesson here is that we are all in need, even if we don’t know how much because we are so insulated by the comforts of modern living. So how do we cope when life gives us situations when our “well” runs dry? The truth of the matter is that we can’t do it alone, we need God and each other and that is what strikes fear in most people…that we all “need” outside help. For me this is the heart of what this season of light should be about. We are not alone in the darkness. There are truly good people about and it should be our sole focus during this sacred time to extend a hand to one another and say I am here for you, you are not alone. Give a little light and receive a little light.

The truth about water is that we can’t live without it, and yet we take it for granted every single day. I know I certainly did. I feel the same way about truth. The water for the soul is truth, and without it we cannot survive. While I may not appreciate God’s timing in all this, I certainly understand it. I appreciate water so much more now that I have it back. I also appreciate what life without truth would be like, in a country where I could not speak freely, it would be as devastating. I am hoping that I never have to live without it and pray God doesn’t feel the need to deprive me of it to teach me a lesson…ever. An end run of avoiding getting what I prayed for? I hope so. Today, I am grateful…for water and for truth.

Truth and Hypocrisy

Hypocrisy:

a feigning to be what one is not or to believe what one does not: behavior that contradicts what one claims to believe or feel…the false assumption of an appearance of virtue or religion.

I would add to this definition of hypocrisy by adding: “exhibiting and perpetuating the very behavior you are ranting against.” I am not getting into finger pointing because I don’t think its helpful…at all. I do know that when any of us allow “our side” to exhibit this kind of behavior because, well, its “our side” after all and the “other side” is so much worse…NOTHING CHANGES. Truth and hypocrisy cannot exist in the same room, EVER. Its the one thing that made Jesus so angry. This quote from Matthew 23 is long…but he speaks what I feel this week:

Then Jesus spoke to the crowds and to his disciples, saying, “The scribes and the Pharisees have taken their seat on the chair of Moses. Therefore, do and observe all things whatsoever they tell you, but do not follow their example. For they preach but they do not practice. They tie up heavy burdens (hard to carry) and lay them on people’s shoulders, but they will not lift a finger to move them. All their works are performed to be seen.

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites. You traverse sea and land to make one convert, and when that happens you make him a child of Gehenna twice as much as yourselves. “Woe to you, blind guides, who say, ‘If one swears by the temple, it means nothing, but if one swears by the gold of the temple, one is obligated. Blind fools, which is greater, the gold, or the temple that made the gold sacred? And you say, ‘If one swears by the altar, it means nothing, but if one swears by the gift on the altar, one is obligated.’ You blind ones, which is greater, the gift, or the altar that makes the gift sacred? One who swears by the altar swears by it and all that is upon it; one who swears by the temple swears by it and by him who dwells in it; one who swears by heaven swears by the throne of God and by him who is seated on it. “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites. You pay tithes of mint and dill and cumin, and have neglected the weightier things of the law: judgment and mercy and fidelity. (But) these you should have done, without neglecting the others. Blind guides, who strain out the gnat and swallow the camel, “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites. You cleanse the outside of cup and dish, but inside they are full of plunder and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee, cleanse first the inside of the cup, so that the outside also may be clean. “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites. You are like whitewashed tombs, which appear beautiful on the outside, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and every kind of filth. Even so, on the outside you appear righteous, but inside you are filled with hypocrisy and evildoing. “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites. You build the tombs of the prophets and adorn the memorials of the righteous, and you say, ‘If we had lived in the days of our ancestors, we would not have joined them in shedding the prophets’ blood.’ Thus you bear witness against yourselves that you are the children of those who murdered the prophets; now fill up what your ancestors measured out! You serpents, you brood of vipers, how can you flee from the judgment of Gehenna!

Power is corrupting, absolute power corrupts absolutely. It is why many hierarchical churches are broken at this point in time. It is understanding the potential for corruption that the foundation of this Republic is built on checks and balances on exclusive power. It is why we have laws to protect consumers from corporate greed, distinctions for protected classes such as race or gender, and rights for those charged criminally. It is why, as a nation, we proclaim that ALL people are created equally and should be treated as such regardless of wealth, status, race or religion. It is not a country who acts against the interests of the whole, for the individual party that is in control at the time. That is the greatest hypocrisy of Washington…to love America, but condemn and vilify anyone who thinks differently than you do. While there are some who are more balanced, given the extreme divisiveness that exists, I think its safe to say balanced is the minority sentiment.

It is essential to take to heart the very behavior that angered Jesus the most: looking good and righteous on the outside but being filled with darkness on the inside. Because of this, I am skeptical of people who say they love an ideology like America and the flag, that they stand for this country, believe in justice and freedom for all, but whose behavior and actions say the opposite, that their allegiance is only to those who love and believe as they do. Some, in positions of power fuel that divide even more. People who believe in truth should not let that happen.

Hypocrisy isn’t foreign to any of us. All of us are guilty of being or saying something one time or another that is contrary to what we really believe. All of us, at times, rationalize why its OK to behave hypocritically because of power in the balance or it achieves something we think we need or want at the time. I think it would be true for everyone who is truthful that it is easy to justify hypocrisy when passions arise. The real issue here, I believe, is not that we are all flawed, but that we embrace an “end justifies the means” mentality, that acting in a way that is hypocritical is OK, if you get the result you want. That is a downfall of having power. The means by which you attain something does matter, perhaps because of the standard it sets. And I believe that is why we are where we are right now in this world. It doesn’t have to stay that way. We are after all, the Body of Christ. We are, after all, created in image of God. We are, after all, “we” the people. Its up to us to act like it.

Truth and Empathy

hands

We don’t walk in anyone else’s shoes. We can’t know or bear anyone else’s burdens. We don’t feel anyone else’s pain. We can only know our own. And that being said, because we all have burdens, it should never be a competition…i.e., my pain is worse than yours or I learned my lessons faster than you have, etc. Our journeys on this planet are unique to each individual. When I weigh out my troubles during prayer time, I am often overwhelmed by the ripple effect that our actions have on other human beings. I am aware that when I allow my personal struggles and fears to fog my eyesight, my behavior changes: less open, less empathetic, less loving. I also know how it affects me when others treat me in a closed, judgmental or hateful way, its like a punch in the stomach making it harder to bounce back. In response, I am continually refocusing my prayers to help me include bringing openness, empathy and love to all people, specifically to combat the growing deficit of these qualities in the world. I know all change begins with me. I decide the tone and tenor of my journey on this planet and it is my belief that being open, empathetic and loving will have an even bigger ripple effect than being closed, judgmental and hateful does.

When I start at this small level I can build up the skills necessary to bring out the big guns when I need them. What do I mean? Becoming skilled at being open, empathetic and loving has changed my whole perspective, hope begins to thrive and my own burdens become significantly less. A simplistic solution, I know…that’s why working hard on the simplest circumstances help gird my loins for the tougher circumstances. Knowing the back story of a truly vile person that is rooted in the most tragic of circumstances does change the level of judgement that I have about them. It has to. If I am trying to evolve as a person…IT HAS TO! It doesn’t mean that people who break the law get a free pass, or people who make bad choices don’t have consequences. It does mean that when I respond back to them in an open, empathetic and loving way…I take control of the situation and that is where the truth lies. I learn a lot from friends of mine who are defense attorneys. They hear another side to the story. They stand for people who have made mistakes, or who truly haven’t, all of whom need help facing a complex system. They advocate fairness in a way that the world outside the justice system does not (OK an aside here, I am not referring to the inequities of the present justice system…just for the importance of hearing the other side of every story). I also learn a lot from friends and others who are counselors, pastors, doctors, etc. who hear the “other” sides of the stories we would like to bypass so we can feel comfortable in smug judgments. I am also privileged to hear many stories that have staid the hand of my own judgment of others in my own life. What I know is this: most people are not inherently evil, most were taught to hate (I have to be truthful here, I say most because the jury is out on some who actually are evil in my mind…but then I am a work in progress). And when you offer openness, empathy and love in response, they do react differently. Change has to start somewhere.

Being open, empathetic and loving isn’t just reserved for the more heinous behaviors of the population either, it also allows me to share in the goodness and wonderful experiences I hear about every day too. The joy of another’s win, accomplishment, and kindness all give me hope and encouragement to keep me on the road that I am on. And for those of you who share in my faith, Jesus affirms my celebrations of openness, empathy and love as well in MT 7:1-18:

“Stop judging, that you may not be judged. For as you judge, so will you be judged, and the measure with which you measure will be measured out to you. Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s or sister’s eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own eye? How can you say to your brother or sister, ‘Let me remove that splinter from your eye,’ while the wooden beam is in your eye? You hypocrite, remove the wooden beam from your eye first; then you will see clearly to remove the splinter from your brother’s or sister’s eye. “Do not give what is holy to dogs, or throw your pearls before swine, lest they trample them underfoot, and turn and tear you to pieces. “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Which one of you would hand their children a stone when they ask for a loaf of bread, or a snake when they ask for a fish? If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good things to those who ask him. “Do to others whatever you would have them do to you. This is the law and the prophets. “Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the road broad that leads to destruction, and those who enter through it are many. How narrow the gate and constricted the road that leads to life. And those who find it are few. “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but underneath are ravenous wolves. By their fruits you will know them. Do people pick grapes from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles? Just so, every good tree bears good fruit, and a rotten tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a rotten tree bear good fruit.

The lesson here is clear: spend less time judging, help is always available, and the only acceptable judgement is determining who the wolves are by the fruits that they bear.

Truth and Courage

The word “courage” and the word “truth” are intimately connected…in my book, anyway. While the word courage is often identified with magnanimous feats in history, of war heroes and historical figures and fictional super heroes, I think its most important function is as the foundation for truth. Telling the story of who you are with your whole heart, speaking your truth takes more courage than most would admit, especially, given the temperament of the world today. Given the blatant disregard for truth that exists within powerful hierarchies and the level of sophistication of the lies told, it becomes an even greater challenge to recognize what the actual truth really is so that telling the actual truth becomes an even more courageous exploit. In order to combat the pathology that a culture of lies create…we all need to embrace the courage to tell our own personal truths first, and then stand together when those talented liars who lie try to attack us for it. Once you stand for truth, I’ve found, it is intolerable to accept or perpetuate lies coming from anybody else. And it is speaking out against those lies where courage is so necessary…because there are plenty of people in the world who are not only content with those lies, but thrive on them.

Stripping down the illusions that I surrounded myself with took the greater part of my lifetime and I found the courage to wipe those illusions away in large part because of my faith and a deep experience of unconditional love of God and also those brave souls who’ve shared the stories of their hearts and showed me a different facet of life through their experiences. Being on the beneficiary side of those personal stories revealed to me a broader truth and with every story a greater perspective. Championing truth requires perspective, and since I only have one set of eyes and limited control over my physical movement I often depend on listening to other perspectives to expand and form my world view. As I’ve mentioned before, truth is not two dimensional, it demands we move and try and see things from a different angles and perspectives. Once you strip your own life from illusions it isn’t as difficult when listening to another’s perspective to tell who is being truthful and who is either lying to themselves or has too high a stake in believing the lie. That was a hard statement to write because am I not prescient (well, maybe a little), and certainly don’t want to inhibit anyone from telling their story, but this isn’t about judgement, its about truth. I want everyone to be able to share their truth…I’m just saying that there are some criteria that I use in deciding whether or not I allow their perspective to shape mine or not.

Fear is the first condition I have for rejecting someone’s perspective. Perpetuating fear is the opposite of courage, and is the true cause of hatred in this world. Please let me be clear, being afraid is not the same thing as rooting one’s perspective in it and using it to justify your choices and behavior. Because fear is the greatest illusion of all, truth cannot exist in someone who roots their ideology in fear (1John 4:18), I don’t care if what they are afraid of is the devil, a political party, race or gender, or an intimate partner. It is embracing courage to face your fears and not be controlled by them that frees your heart to speak your truth. And speaking that truth literally makes you free and will distinguish you from the rest of the population who simply succumb to lies that feed their fears.

The second condition is the willingness to change. This is a bit of a slippery slope, because I certainly am not talking about being malleable, to change in accordance with everybody else. I’m also aware that change happens over time and never all at once. I’m talking about the willingness to make necessary changes that must be made in a person’s life when things aren’t working, or honesty when you decide you’re just not ready to make a needed change. Change, while inevitable, is still one of the things that is hard for most people, and it takes a lot of courage to do so. We tell people up front at our clinic that we can’t “fix” anybody without their help. If they are unwilling to change bad habits, there is nothing we can do to help them turn their health around…the individual themselves is the change agent, not those who are supposed to magically fix them. And there are those who will try and convince you that “they” can fix you. It’s just not true. I am the superstar in this equation, I make the changes, I reap the benefit for doing so.

The third condition are those who refuse to take responsibility for their lives and blame others for their life challenges. People who are never responsible for anything that happens in their lives and can point a finger at everyone else but themselves, are not being courageous or truthful. Again, while there are plenty of people who are tragically victimized or face tragic circumstances, I am not talking about them. I am speaking about those who consciously refuse to proactively engage in finding a solution to any problem they face, and instead find a scapegoat to vent their rage and frustration, even if they turn it inward on themselves. While blame may give momentary solace, it never fixes anything and is the source of some of the greatest conflicts in history.

Lastly, are those people who allow structures and institutions in our world to control them and tell them who they should be in a way that redefines them according to to the acceptable norms within the structure or institution. They tell them who they should be instead of who God created them to be. While I understand civilized people embrace certain behaviors, like the golden rule for instance, those structures whose purpose is only for power and control and superimpose a perspective at the detriment of an individual…I reject. So when someone tells me that God deplores homosexuals, or black people are inferior, or illegal aliens don’t deserve humane treatment, or their “faith” is the only true faith, I know right away they really don’t understand God at all.

All in all, I think truth and courage go hand in hand. It is difficult to share your truth when there are people who would condemn you and judge you for it. It also takes courage to speak truth to power again for the same reasons. I struggle at times worrying about the consequences of the words I speak, I’ve had my share of condemnation and judgment too. But the alternative would be to lie and that’s just not possible at this stage of the game. So, today I pray for courage and to tell the story of who we are with our whole heart.

Truth and Loyalty

When I looked up the word loyalty in the dictionary, the word “faithfulness” was primary in each explanation. Faithfulness to an ideal, principle, etc. was expected. When it came to defining loyalty to a person. though, it added an important word: “faithfulness to a person who is due.” The word “due” is an important distinction in my mind because it infers that the person has to deserve my loyalty, that they have earned it. It is also a point of clarity for me. Over the years, and I have spoken of this before, I have had to filter out and clean my own personal loyalty house. When it comes to an ideal, or principle I think it had become clear that certain groups or institutions to which I had plead wholehearted faithfulness no longer represented the principles to which I believe they were supposed to represent. While the stripping away part may have taken effort, it was a necessary step for me in clarifying where my loyalties would lie. And I think in the present culture it has only intensified. How can you be true to a person or institution who isn’t the reflection of the ideas or ideals they claim to represent?

We all have had the experience of being loyal to someone who really didn’t deserve it. I’m not talking about our shared human frailties, I know I have acted in a way on occasion that could be considered disloyal…I’m speaking about those toxic people who continuously behave in a way that defies the reasons we were loyal in the first place and leave us diminished rather than enhanced as people. Those experiences should help us hone our ability to choose better people in the future, and also more importantly show us how to be better worthy of another’s loyalty. Those relationships that command loyalty come from an investment of time, experience and continued proof on both sides that the loyalty is justified.

So there is reason to be concerned with what we are asked to do in today’s market of social media regarding our loyalties. There are those who play on our weaknesses, fears, laziness and at times character flaws to create such a divisive and angry divide. I see cable news do it, political parties do it, religions do it, and the list goes on and on. They demand loyalty without being held to account for whether or not they hold up the ideals they are supposed to stand for, claim the exclusive power to define who is right and who is wrong, are just using people for their own personal gain, or even more nefarious reasons, all to create an us vs them environment where no one can think differently without being vilified. The thing that befuddles and concerns me most deeply is to see good intelligent people fall prey to this kind of nonsense just because it suits their color or symbol of the moment. The leverage we give these groups instead of truth or principles they are supposed to stand for, is one of the greatest evils of our time.

And yet, how do you address it? It has become so difficult to have a civilized discussion at all about people who strike such polarity in our world. It never used to be a big deal to have friends that held different beliefs than I did…not so anymore. So rather than conquer the great white elephant in the room, let me ask you this: To whom or what are you pledging your loyalty? Do they represent your values, and would you stake your soul on it? These questions shouldn’t be answered easily, because there is just too much smoke and mirrors out there that the truth must be fought for. Expecting loyalty should take time, patience and experience. If the behavior doesn’t measure up, or isn’t truthful, then cut them free and look elsewhere. My loyalties may be few, but I believe they are worthy of my fidelity…until they are not.

Truth and Free Will

013

I’ve been thinking a lot about free will and choice in these days of such tribulation. I’ve pondered, studied and applied (to the best of my ability) the lessons of the story of the Garden of Eden that speaks of the origin of free will and sin. In short, a choice was made to defy God and eat of the tree of knowledge, and innocence was lost…and if I’m truly honest, I’m OK with that. I would rather choose God, choose my path and choose all that comes with human fallibility on my own than live in a world of perfection without having the choice to be there. I say that because it means everything when you choose something for yourself, and not have it imposed upon you. And with that freedom comes a responsibility to accept the consequences of those choices, because that is how I evolve. I also embrace the help that God offers, in humility, because I acknowledge the limitations to my human perception and ability to move as far forward on my own as I would like. I believe that whatever I put out into the world comes back to me tenfold, which gives me care and pause to keep me on the straight and narrow road I choose to walk on. We are all fallible, flawed, and yet free to move in the world in the way we choose even within the limitations of circumstance and physicality because no one controls our souls or thoughts. Even how we choose to follow God, at its core is a personal responsibility. We can’t hide behind God to justify our behavior any more than we can blame the devil…because we have the freedom to choose. WE ARE RESPONSIBLE for every choice even in the midst of horrible circumstances, not knowing better or even in the midst of enslavement. (which, in the story of Adam and Eve, God says: “See! They have become like one of us, knowing what is good and what is bad!”) While in any given circumstance our physical choices may be restricted or limited, we always have the freedom to choose how to respond to them. We can choose goodness, or not.

With that said, I fully realize that the freedom to choose our physical destiny fully is not available to everyone on this planet, its just not. I think the choices to restrict freedom are being imposed out of fear and all the ramifications that come with that choice. There is a part in the story of Adam and Eve when they realize they are naked, and they hide. I think of even the most powerful people in the world in that position in front of God, when stripped down to just their nakedness not protected by wealth or status or embellishment would feel the same way as Adam and Eve did. I know I do, and I am thankful for that…I, in truth, really am. The reason? Because, sensibly, I know we all have flaws that we cover with a variety of subterfuge because of a skewed belief that if we do that the rest of the world won’t see how flawed we are, except that the rest of the world is flawed also. I find it tragic the length to which people will go to fake who they are or make excuses for who they are not. I refuse to do that. Instead, I choose to be a work in progress, flaws and all, give credit to God for the blueprint that is me and work desperately hard to make sure my choices are good ones, and when they aren’t, take responsibility for them and move on.

So, in the light of free will, I choose to celebrate that sacred fault of the Garden, choosing more to see it not as original sin, but the ability to recognize good and evil and then consciously, to the best of my knowledge and belief, choose good, choose God…which differs based on an individual’s perspective. And because we all have a different perspectives, work within those differences unless and until I think goodness is threatened and find ways to rectify it. I think this is why the tone of Jesus’ message is based on love, and not a regimented set of rules or judgments. Loving God with all your strength, treating your neighbor as you would yourself, and loving the least among us, and being prayerful, helps us recognize that while others also have free will and face circumstances we may not understand or appreciate, and the choices made may have a ripple effect outward, there is a good way to respond to them and an evil one, even if those choices are not black and white but on a spectrum. At our core, unless you are a sociopath or severely mentally ill, knowing what is good and what is evil is the burden of free will, and simply hoping you are doing good does not make it so. To abdicate responsibility for your status by blame, by excuses, by rationalizations, by out right lying is choosing against goodness. And while none of us can equivocally define what goodness is all of the time, in time, if we choose to evolve, we should get better at recognizing it. Lastly, Good and Evil are not shaped by public opinion…that is the truth.

Truth and Love

We love, because we were loved first. This is my foundation, my starting point for everything. I would not be me without this truth at my core. This axiom directs everything I do, and sustains all my hope in dark times. It took the vast majority of my focus and energy as I moved forward in my faith life as a young girl and woman to wrap my head around this central truth of Christianity: I am loved by an omniscient God, who is the source of all things…me, and by the sacrifice of Christ I have eternal life. Scripture says that we are born anew, we become infinitely more. The struggle of my lifetime is in the manifestation of and how the world expresses love. How do I stand out as the recipient of supranatural love? There are these verses that have helped guide me on my journey:

There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment, and so one who fears is not yet perfect in love. We love because he first loved us. 1John: 18,19

But rather, love your enemies and do good to them, and lend expecting nothing back; then your reward will be great and you will be children of the Most High, for he himself is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked. Be merciful, just as (also) your Father is merciful. Luke 6:35

“Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?” He said to him, “You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37-39

For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life. John 3:16

Historically, I think Christianity has forgotten that the core of our faith isn’t the accumulation of power and wealth, dogma, edicts or an exclusive club that closes off the power of that love and sacrifice to other faiths. It isn’t about structure or rules. The core of how we express our faith is in Jesus last command to his disciples: “They will know you are my disciples by how you love one another.” John 13;35. Sadly, I would say that after all this time we have failed in that regard.

The truth about love, is that we have let human frailty, human insecurity, our fears, injuries and judgments, redefine what love is. As a society we seem to have decided that love must look a certain way, must be earned, or extended to only a privileged few, and that is the biggest of all lies. In truth it is the exact opposite. What we know about love is that:

it is patient.

it is kind.

it is not jealous.

it is not pompous.

it is not inflated.

it is not rude.

it does not seek its own interest.

it is not quick tempered.

it does not brood over injury.

it does not rejoice over wrongdoings.

it rejoices in the truth.

it bears all things.

it believes all things.

it hopes all things

it endures all things

Love never fails.

That is what love looks like. It never says that it only for the beautiful or the young. It never says anything about being sexy or hearts or being soft or frilly. It is a force as stern as death (Song of Solomon) it’s free to everyone, there is no shortage because its infinite source is what we attest to believe in…God. While love may move our expressions, it is not defined by them. Love is so much bigger than our expression of it. Like music, its melody changes with each individual and situation. When love is the guide, it not only changes how we see the world, but how we live in it. It is only when we do that, that we will be known as Jesus’ disciples…by how we love. It never fails. Humans fail, but love never does…because God first loved us…and that is the best truth.

Truth and Complicity

My stomach grows increasingly tight, often triggering my autoimmune symptoms as I move forward in my year of truth…and I’m not even half way through. “Be careful what you pray for”, is a statement that I find both disconcerting and freeing at the same time. I’d be lying if I said it was easy to move fearlessly into the future with truth as my primary weapon of choice to break down the lies and illusions that seem to be well, just everywhere…and I’m certainly not just projecting the lies that exist in the outside world because I face my own every day, I have to say, just in case you see me as some self righteous lunatic. I know it is hard to come face to face with personal truths, but as Jesus said: “how can you point out the speck in another’s eye when you can’t even see the plank in your own”. I am also aware of an intrinsic flaw in my character of being so intense about something that I can get in my own way. I hear my fathers voice daily telling me to lighten the hell up…and breathe, for God’s sake. And then say, “All will be well, and the manner of all things will be well” (Julian of Norwich) and try to move on and forward. We are all works in progress, right? So here goes…

We are surrounded by lies. There are powerful people in the world that are making it their goal to obfuscate the truth almost everywhere you turn, often to avoid being held accountable for their own actions, even if it ruins lives. And, based on a dream I had last night, we are all complicit if we don’t take every measure to verify and fact check what we are hearing every day. If you only get information from one source and use that source to bolster the unchecked rhetoric flying around out there because it validates your world view and personal bias, blame and bent (and it can come from just about everywhere, from politics, to healthcare, to education) then you are being complicit in the attack on truth. There is no justification for the willful blindness that perpetuates itself throughout the media. And yet I am astounded everyday at the next new attack on the truth and how easily people are willing to just comply with or ignore it.

Try and think of it this way…God is the truth, and in my faith, Jesus is truth as well and even died for it. So, every time you believe a lie by your complacence and not by naivete or ignorance, you act in defiance of God, and when you condemn the truth because it challenges you, you condemn yourself and you turn from God. It. Is. As. Simple. As. That. For if believing in and following some self serving myth that feeds ones basest desires is more important than working hard to find the truth of the matter at hand, then you are being complicit in those lies. What good are the moments in scripture when Jesus rails against the liars and hypocrites if none of us are willing to stand in those very same shoes as if he is railing against each of us individually? Love of God is expressed through word and deed, which is why Jesus was so hard on those in leadership positions who looked so holy on the outside but were full of evil on the inside. My original post for today was about truth and love, which will have to wait until a later date. In truth, I didn’t want the backlash of what my heart really needed to say: if you can’t stand up for truth, you don’t stand up for God. It sounded just too mean. and talking about love is much nicer…and then I had a dream:

I was in a crowd of people who were basically talking crap and spreading rumors with no questioning of their validity or factual basis. I felt I had to say something, and it was a bit lame or innocuous, like “you really shouldn’t be talking about people like that”. I left the room and then I became the one they talked about…and I lost it. I went back in the room and railed against all I know from all I’ve learned in my life and I made them answer my questions about whether what they were saying was accurate, good or kind. They said nothing and sat there stunned. I felt better.

I don’t really think deep down most of us want to be complicit in a culture of lies…but it has become too easy to do so. When life is good financially, or when a lie benefits you personally its too easy to look the other way. That is simply unacceptable. For our actions and inaction have consequences. And if you’re like me, you want to be on the right path, and never become complicit in perpetrating lies and illusions. So when I am unclear (which is a lot of the time) I always use a prayer of Thomas Merton to give me solace when I’m unclear what to believe:

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone

Truth vs Fear

fear

So here’s something all humans have in common…we are all afraid of one thing or another. Here’s another thing…it’s not always clear what exactly it is that we are afraid of, and that is where truth becomes essential, otherwise, it’s difficult to control the negative behavior that fear inspires. Just google: fear as a source of negative behavior, and you’ll see what I mean. From a theologian’s perspective…fear is the antithesis of love, and will impede the work, the gifts, the power of God.

There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment, and so one who fears is not yet perfect in love 1 John 4:18

For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you received a spirit of adoption, through which we cry, “Abba, Father!” Romans 8:15

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid. John 14:27

Truth, is the armament of love.

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor present things, nor future things, nor powers,nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

And truth will keep fear at bay…but not if we don’t face it, accept that we have it, and work to overcome it. At the core of Christianity is the belief that on our own, salvation is impossible, but with God, ALL things are possible. My struggle in my over inquisitive mind is this: If this is true, then after all this time, where is the ALL possible? What are we, as Christians, doing wrong? While the answer to that question is demonstrably huge and complicated, I keep coming back to fear and behavior. When we let fear dictate the course of our actions and behavior, we do not act in accordance with the belief that in God we can do all things. It is a direct affront against that basic tenet. And well, that sucks because I come face to face with fear every day. Questions like: Am I enough, Did I do that right, Was that unkind, should I do more…the list is endless. When I am truthful about my fears, however, and ask God to help me overcome them…the power of that fear fades. More importantly, when I face the consequences of fear based behavior, I become even more determined to not let that behavior dictate future decisions…because those decisions have never taken me to a better place, ever.

I will also say this: pretending that we are not afraid, or pretending that fear is justified gives it strength over our future behavior. And if we can’t handle personal fears and the behavior it inspires, there is no hope that we can conquer fear on a larger level. I just don’t think its possible. And I don’t mean any of this in the way of chastisement, not at all. It should be a source of great comfort to know that nothing will stand in the way of God’s love for us and any and all the fears out in the world. It should cause a huge wave of relief.

The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom do I fear? The LORD is my life’s refuge; of whom am I afraid?

Truth and Veracity

Veracity is the habitual observance of truth in speech or statement, a conformity to truth or fact. I sat and read over that statement about a million times. Veracity should be one of the top qualities of any person of integrity. Most people I know would consider themselves veracious…and I would agree, most of the time. So here is when it becomes difficult for me, when I become almost speechless with incredulity; what does it mean when typically veracious people buy into and align themselves with blatantly untruthful, biased, and morally questionable people? Is it ever acceptable to disregard a person’s behavior in support of the ideology or an agenda they represent? Can one claim a path of truth which is sullied by lies and deception? I don’t believe that is remotely possible. The onus is on the person who is committed to the truth, to align with those who are also committed to truth. It seems so obvious, doesn’t it? But when there are entities who engage in a war of liar, liar, pants on fire…what do you do to find the truth? I would say the first step is to go back the to first statement I made: the habitual observance of truth in speech and statement, conformity to truth or fact. Find those kind of people. Finding veracious people doesn’t necessarily mean they will think exactly like you do, or have the same ideology, but it matters how they behave in the pursuit of those ideas. It’s all about behavior people, and paying attention to and holding them accountable to it.

Truth is hard enough individually, so why forsake it by putting trust in someone who is not? The foundation of truth rests not in just what comes out of a person’s mouth, but how that person behaves. Words are held up by behavior, not by claim or title. Jesus is very clear about this in Matthew 23: 25-28:

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites. You cleanse the outside of cup and dish, but inside they are full of plunder and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee, cleanse first the inside of the cup, so that the outside also may be clean. “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites. You are like whitewashed tombs, which appear beautiful on the outside, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and every kind of filth. Even so, on the outside you appear righteous, but inside you are filled with hypocrisy and evildoing.

Given that the very thing that drove Jesus crazy was hypocrisy, this is the behavior he expects from his faithful servants:

“Who, then, is the faithful and prudent servant, whom the master has put in charge of his household to distribute to them their food at the proper time? Blessed is that servant whom his master on his arrival finds doing so. Amen, I say to you, he will put him in charge of all his property. But if that wicked servant says to himself, ‘My master is long delayed,’ and begins to beat his fellow servants, and eat and drink with drunkards, the servant’s master will come on an unexpected day and at an unknown hour and will punish him severely ²⁹ and assign him a place with the hypocrites, where there will be wailing and grinding of teeth.

So as I struggle with standing on my soapbox, I remember to act as if Jesus is coming today, and try and emulate his final command: “they will know you are my disciples by how you love one another”

Truth and Consistency

Here’s the thing about truth, at its core, it is consistent, as in it is consistently evolving. When someone comes to know something, based on experience, information, or revelation, it remains true until altered or changed by a greater truth. Sometimes it’s simply seeing a new facet to, or an expansion of a truth long held, and sometimes because of insufficient knowledge or faulty logic a truth is exposed as a fallacy. The truth that has been expanded by greater understanding should still remain consistent at its core, because we are the change agent and not the truth itself. As you evolve, your life should change in accordance to greater knowledge and understanding, that is what Paul, in 1 Corinthians, meant when he said that when he was a child he thought, reasoned, and talked like a child, but when he became an adult he put childish things aside. Holding on to to an idea, or truth and refusing to allow it to be challenged or tested by time and maturity is not being consistent, it’s just being childish.

I feel the same way about the truth of my faith. My father always taught me that our faith always evolves, and in order to grow theologically I had to be willing to put presently held truths to the challenge and to test them. The hard part was to be willing to put them aside after they fell short:

To me theology is a process of change which goes on continually in a life time. One must continually grow by learning new things, theologically. As you learn more, your life changes in accordance. Everything you learn, in turn, must be challenged and tested. This is how you arrive at growth, or truth. I do not judge how others believe because ultimately we are responsible for our own Christian lives and we must act according to what we know to be the Truth at the time. Over a time we may prove to be wrong but only because we had insufficient knowledge or our logic was faulty. There is always so much we don’t know but we have to have faith that somehow God will reveal to us how right or wrong we are, and that way we grow.

I have always held onto his words, and the words of the scripture passage mentioned above so I wouldn’t stand too rigidly on any one thing, with one exception. What creates an evermore solid foundation for the truth of my faith, however, is that as I’ve evolved there may be inconsistency in my ability to live out truth I’ve grown in to, whether it is because of fear, public scrutiny, confusion and a host of other factors, but there is not and has never been an ounce of inconsistency in the truth that is the foundation of my faith in God. While theologically my faith has evolved to a wonderful kaleidoscope of color, it is rooted in one thing: love. No amount of evolution has changed that. The words of the Bible, particularly the Gospels, are even clearer and more nuanced then ever before, strengthening my resolve and commitment. Not one word has ever failed a challenge or a test because there was always a greater revelation of what love means that came as a result.

So when the world becomes confusing and its hard to decipher what is true, I choose from the most basic tenets of my faith:

If anyone says, “I love God,” but hates his brother or sister, they are a liar; for whoever does not love a brother or sister whom they have seen cannot love God whom they have not seen. 1 John 4:20

I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another. This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. John 13:34-35

Now someone approached him and said, “Teacher, what good must I do to gain eternal life?” He answered him, “Why do you ask me about the good? There is only One who is good. If you wish to enter into life, keep the commandments.” He asked him, “Which ones?” And Jesus replied, ” ‘You shall not kill; you shall not commit adultery; you shall not steal; you shall not bear false witness; honor your father and your mother’; and ‘you shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ “The young man said to him, “All of these I have observed. What do I still lack?” Jesus said to him, “If you wish to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to (the) poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” When the young man heard this statement, he went away sad, for he had many possessions. Matthew 19:16-22

No servant can serve two masters. He will either hate one and love the other, or be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.” Matthew 6:24

That which you do to the least of my brothers and sisters you do unto me. Matthew 25:40.

So really, it isn’t about a political ideology at all…but more behavioral. It isn’t too hard to recognize when someone thinks and reasons and behaves like a child. Name calling, becoming immovable, willful ignorance and rapier like judgement, and most importantly actions that are not based in love, are not being consistent with truth, ever. And as for those of faith who throw scripture at someone as a weapon or means to stop another’s perspective? Well, the devil can quote scripture too.

Truth and Circumstances

In a perfect world, truth would be so much easier if everything were transparent…except, its not. Transparency isn’t the norm. So much of the circumstance of every human encounter remains hidden to each participant. How much personal pain, damage, courage, experience, deception or thousands of other bits of circumstance color the reaction expressed in each encounter? I would venture to say a lot. And yet so often we behave as if we know it all and are completely comfortable in the quick judgments we throw out into the world. In the last few days, I have been part of many conversations and observed the behavior of many on the national level that were rooted in misunderstanding and steeped in unwarranted judgement. Its exhausting, pushing down the desire to quantify and qualify everything. In the war between “my truth” and “your truth” does “real truth” get lost?

If we knew more of the “circumstances” that were behind every encounter, would we behave differently? I would hope so. Would a rash of angry and misinformed threats fall differently if the other party knew the circumstances that the other party was struggling with? Again, I would hope so…even if it only meant that words, perhaps angry or harsh, were then not taken personally, or to heart, but created a greater sense of understanding and empathy instead. As Christians, (since I am one, I claim no expertise on any other faith, which is why I use my own as an example) Jesus tells us: to walk in another’s shoes, to judge not lest we be judged, to turn the other cheek, to take the plank out of our own eye before we point out the speck in another’s eye, to be merciful, to love our neighbors as ourselves, and above all to tell the truth. Truth and living mindfully of these commands go hand in hand.

The other side of the circumstance coin is the person who hides deep deception and all other deviant qualities, like a wolf in sheep’s clothing. I certainly have been the naive one in that equation, and I consider myself a pretty astute observer. The “truth” here cautions us to be careful, to take the time and effort necessary to not only give each person a break, but to remain cautious while the substance of what they speak is revealed, which usually takes more time than we are willing to commit to. Without trying to sound like a broken record, media, social, opinion or news, have created such a market that perpetuates snap judgments that do more to destroy the truth en-mass than any other mechanism I can think of.

In your next encounter, think of the mass of circumstance that you can’t see. Be mindful of how much you hold secret too. Truth takes time, and kindness.

Truth and Perspective

Look at the above picture. One person sees a square, another sees a circle. They are both correct in declaring what they see. Except what they see as individuals doesn’t create a full picture. The object itself is greater than just one perspective, it demands that we see it from three dimensions, from different angles. The problem lies when a person who sees only the square tells a person who sees the circle that what they see can’t possibly be true…that they must be lying, crazy or guided by some nefarious force because it is absolutely crystal clear that what they see is the only correct perspective of the above image, and from their vantage point they would feel certain in their position. The person who sees only the circle may feel the same way. Except both would be wrong, the object is a cylinder that expresses both a circle and a square depending on where you are standing. The truth is never two dimensional, ever. But we seem to live in a time where people think it is, and that is the real root of our problems today.

As an individual, you may be clear on your perspective, but when you rigidly stand in one place, refusing to listen to another who offers another angle and then vilify them for it, to refuse to stand in their shoes, and see something from their perspective, I truly believe that you don’t really want to understand the greater truths of the world. To expand your perspective lies at the heart of the Gospels. Jesus asks us constantly to stand in another shoes, to not judge, to love our neighbor, to treat the least of society with great respect. And while I understand that to your eyes, what you see is definitely a circle or a square, I’m asking you to walk, move around to another angle and see if your perspective changes. You may be surprised. You may be angry. You may even still refuse to step away from your initial perspective because of a deep hurt, pain, past mistreatment or judgement. But the truth is never flat, two dimensional or rigid…its just not. If you want the truth, you have to move beyond where you are standing right now. Otherwise you will be ever caught in a lie, regardless of how real it looks to you.

I feel like a circle person living in a square world a lot of the time. I don’t like it much, especially when I read such derogatory descriptions of circle people, because I’m nothing like that. I also get frustrated at the judgments hurled at square people by other circle people, because I live among them and find their judgments faulty as well. Notably, I do see that both sides are just sick and tired of being judged. So lets move people, lets walk outside our perspective to see the truth from 360 degrees. That begins by listening, talking and the goal of wanting a greater truth.

Truth vs Opinion

I think this is going to be the biggest struggle of our time…learning to distinguish between truth and opinion. They are not the same, and they are not equivalent by any shape of the imagination. An opinion, while often containing truth, doesn’t require any at all. I could state quite correctly that it is my opinion that the sun revolves around the earth. It wouldn’t be true, but it still would be correct in that it was an opinion. Truth is rooted in facts, actual events, often seen and experienced from a variety of angles and perspectives. I could also say the same statement and it wouldn’t be true at all because the earth revolving around the sun has been corroborated by a variety of facts and evidence. So you can have an opinion about anything you want…it just won’t necessarily make it true.

Opinions can often be stated as fact, as they often are in the political realm…again, that doesn’t make them true, even when they seem real and convincing. That is why it is so important to work hard to find the truth of the matter at hand. I know it can be difficult sometimes. We all have that tendency to want to believe scurrilous information about people we don’t like, but it can lead down a very dangerous road if the veracity of that information isn’t checked by a variety of sources. Something may look like it is a legitimate news story, but when scrutinized and fact-checked it may fall very short of the truth. I know it happens on both ends of the political spectrum, which is why each individual who cares about truth, must be diligent in making sure what information they ingest is accurate. More and more information out there in cyber, satellite, and cable worlds are not. There are many out there who would sway the masses for nefarious reasons and when you buy in quickly without any effort to challenge the information then you are part of the problem.

I get very concerned about leadership conflating their opinions with truth, because they are not the same, yet they encourage their supporters to think that they are. Calling someone a liar or a criminal doesn’t make it true. Facts make those suppositions true, not one’s position in the world, commitment to a particular opinion or how often its repeated. Those of us that are committed to truth often have the most difficult job of all in pointing out inaccuracies, asking hard questions, searching other sources and speaking truth to power. It’s hard and often demoralizing when someone who is so committed to an opinion cares less about the facts that poke holes in that opinion than the opinion itself. Remember, stating an opinion is fine, but only facts make it true.

For now, I’m more comfortable working to find truth on my own than rely on someone’s opinion. I’d rather say I don’t know because I don’t have enough information than be swayed by name calling and political extremism. Those kinds of opinions benefit no one and don’t bring anyone closer to the truth. I also heed the words of Jesus when he said (and I have a feeling I will be quoting this a lot this year)

By your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.

Observations of an Ordinary Woman

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this: