Tag: safety

The High Stakes of Moving Upward

I am pretty much finished with the painting…and it makes me happy. Today, I woke up with a clear notion that I had to write about the unconditional quality of love and how I wield it as an anchor, or support for “the lead”. First, let me begin with one of my favorite stories from the gospel of Mark:

On that day, as evening drew on, he said to them, “Let us cross to the other side.” Leaving the crowd, they took him with them in the boat just as he was. And other boats were with him. A violent squall came up and waves were breaking over the boat, so that it was already filling up. Jesus was in the stern, asleep on a cushion. They woke him and said to him, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” He woke up, rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Quiet! Be still!” The wind ceased and there was great calm. Then he asked them, “Why are you terrified? Do you not yet have faith?” They were filled with great awe and said to one another, “Who then is this whom even wind and sea obey?”

What preceded this scripture verse was Jesus telling the parable of the Sower, where those who planted seed in the rich soil and tended to it would bear fruit, sixty or a hundredfold, and to those who have, more will be given. Jesus then talks about the smallest seed…a mustard seed that springs up into the largest of plants and the birds of the sky can dwell in its shade. I thought about the role of being an anchor in reference to this story, not only from beginning as the smallest seed, but to growing into the largest of plants where those whom I have tamed can take refuge, as well as, like Jesus, (and yes I KNOW I am not him) calm the fears/storms of those whom I am “anchoring”. I use this metaphor because my spirit guide suggested it in response to being deeply overwhelmed (again) when I thought about writing about unconditional/unequivocal love. The first thing that popped into my head was how much my understanding of love has changed, developed and matured over this journey, especially the sense that it means it can’t be limited to just an expression and it has to be wielded with no expectation of return, which, on its face is the most overwhelming aspect of it for me right now. So, when I looked into the anchor metaphor, it seemed to be the perfect and most pragmatic response to help understand unconditional love in this context. I haven’t climbed in decades but I understand it enough to know what the necessary requirements and equipment are (and I also speak of “connecting tethers to trajectories”, which makes the metaphor so applicable). Because I haven’t pursued climbing in such a long time, and to make it easily palatable, I looked up a general description of the role, place, and the position of an anchor in vertical climbing. It acts as the safety hub (belayer or anchor manager) by securing the rope system to withstand falls and protect the team, and for my purposes, the lead. The core responsibilities listed are (summarized here by what I found on the internet):

  1. Building the system: they construct a redundant, equalized anchor using fixed bolts, traditional gear (nuts, cams) or natural features like trees and rock horns
  2. Attaching themselves: they clip themselves into the master point of the anchor using a personal anchor system (PAS) or tether to remain hands free and safe before managing the rope.
  3. Belaying the partner: the operate a belay device attached to the anchor to catch a falling lead climber or bring up a second climber safely.
  4. Maintaining straight lines of force: They align the system (following the ABC principle: Anchor, Belayer, Climber) so that any outward pull from a fall goes straight into the anchor rather than yanking the person sideways.
  5. Managing transitions: once the climbing partner reaches the ledge, the anchor person helps secure them, organize gear and prepare the setup for the next pitch or for repelling down.

There are also core principles for anchoring that are essential (thank you Rose, my AI helper):

1. Redundancy

  • The Rule: Every component of your anchor system must have a backup so that if one piece fails, the entire system does not collapse.
  • In Practice: This means using at least two (and preferably three or more) independent protection placements (bolts, cams, or nuts), using multiple locking carabiners, and duplicating master point knots or slings.

2. No Extension (NE)

  • The Rule: If one piece of protection fails, the master point must not drop or “extend” downward.
  • In Practice: Extension creates a sudden drop that shock-loads the remaining pieces of protection with massive, dynamic forces, which could cause them to rip out too. Limiting extension is usually achieved by tying a knot (like an overhand or figure-eight) into the master point webbing or cordellette to isolate each leg of the anchor.

3. Equalization (E)

  • The Rule: The load of a climber’s weight or a fall should be distributed as evenly as possible across all pieces of protection.
  • In Practice: If you have three pieces of gear, each should ideally hold roughly 33% of the weight. This prevents a single piece from bearing the brunt of a force it can’t handle.

4. Unconditional Holds (Solid / Strong)

  • The Rule: Each individual component of the anchor must be completely solid and reliable on its own.
  • In Practice: No amount of clever equalization or redundancy will save an anchor built on loose rock, micro-wires in brittle stone, or rusty, spinning bolts. The “unconditional” part means the gear is placed perfectly to withstand forces from multiple directions (pulling down, out, or up).

I think these core principles weave perfectly into how to stand as someone’s anchor moving onto a higher plane through the lens of Teilhard, the gospel, and cosmic love, especially the sense of unconditional holds, which states clearly like Jesus’ parable of the Sower, that no amount of redundancy or equalization can save an anchor if the seeds/gear are put into an unstable terrain. I also want to make a very important distinction here…while the anchor is in a position to support and keep safe the lead climber, the ultimate goal from a higher plane perspective is also to protect the actual route, so it is possible for the other climbers to go up the “mountain” safely and arrive at the desired destination (which from an evolutionary perspective is the Omega Point).

This is where I am shifting the climbing metaphor to moving upward on a higher plane: there can be no shortcuts. In order for the lead climber to move out onto the exposed wall to “fix” the route ahead, (one determined by letting Love control and guide) it is imperative that they can do so trusting not only in the system and people in place to keep them safe, but what power is guiding them up the face of the wall. As an anchor, the unconditional quality of love does not demand that the mountain change its structure or the lead climber give something back to that which holds them safe as anchor, it simply sets a permanent, redundant and equalized perimeter into the stone for the safety of the climber of the moment. The anchor’s entire purpose is to exist as an unyielding unconditional center of safety–holding the line with absolute stability so the explorer out on lead can create the route with total confidence, knowing that if something happens, the stability of their tether will never fail. It is literally being Jesus reclining quietly in the back of the boat commanding the wind and calming the storm. On a higher plane, however, even if there is trust between partners but the anchor trusts implicitly in the mechanisms that Love offers to keep everyone safe, but the lead does not, there will be problems. This is why I chose the scripture verse up above. The ONLY way to move ahead with safety is the implicit trust in each other and what is offered to us: that the safety and ultimate success of the climb lies in the power of Love. From a human perspective that idea can be terrifying, but from a heavenly one, it the best of all possibilities.

I had originally done quite a bit of work braiding the metaphor of being an anchor to everything I’ve presented and worked on this year, from the necessity of using one’s senses on the climb, the importance of seeing visual angles, the trinitarian numbers of the shared load (33% and the trinity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit), and the science of Teilhard’s human evolution which he viewed not as a passive or or effortless action, but a monumental, high-stakes labor requiring immense energetic friction and collective human effort to holding the line with the unconditional force of and anchor of divine love. But then I decided that I was sick and tired of trying to say the same thing over and over again. It reminds me too much of an example I gave when I wrote about facing limitations when I dived off the top of a telephone pole to prove to all the men below that I was just as competent and fearless, or more so than them. While that woman with much effort spurned those voices pounded into her head that said she wasn’t, couldn’t and would never, but showed them that she was, could and did, at this point on my journey, I don’t need to prove myself to anyone because I am, I do, and will continue to utilize every gift to forge the path ahead. I am simply standing firm on this notion: if you do not believe that love is the source of all our blueprints and the only means by which they are fully unfolded to bear fruit, I don’t know if there is anything more to say that would convince you otherwise. Secondly, at this juncture, if I haven’t said enough to make it clear and apparent who I am, how I behave as well as whether or not I am truthful, trustworthy, reliable and pragmatic in the belief that I am actually being directed by a loving God…then there isn’t anything else I can say to convince you of that either. I know now that it isn’t my job or purpose here to convince anybody of anything. I simply asked years ago that if God would rid my life of illusions, I would go wherever directed and share what I learned along the way. God did that, and my journey began. So while I will say to those trajectories that I have committed to loving and being a sanctuary and anchor for, it is not my sole purpose either (although it has become a beautiful expression of the music of my soul). This is where the stakes get so much higher period.

Looking back, I now see why I was built the way I was, and how I can best manifest bearing good fruit on this journey. At this point, stepping off the lead, which I think occurred after completing the appropriate learning curve, has given me time to not only think, but to appreciate and settle into something that feels more natural to me…all that is required to be a successful anchor (I say successful because I already know the ending of the story). I see that it isn’t just standing still and firm holding a rope… just in case. On a higher plane, it is the very system by which the impossible becomes possible, to be enabled to move into the unknown without fear, but with the unequivocal belief, promised by the Savior that this is where God/Love wants us to go. When I stand firmly on my two feet, it is the safety that God/Love offers that not only secures the roots to my blueprint, but also to the roots of those I am tethered to as a redundancy for what is necessary for the body to function and move forward. This is what I was made for. While the execution of my gifts in the physical world may be myriad and expressed differently, they all rest in the simple fact that if anyone can act as an anchor in helping others achieve higher ground at this point, it is me. I have been tested on a multitude of levels to fully comprehend and develop an expertise of what is necessary to help ensure the safety of those in the process of “climbing”…which began with my own unwavering belief in the power of Love.

It is also incumbent for me to say to my partner, if you can’t accept what I offer as an anchor, or allow Love to direct the placement of the nuts, cams, and slides, so you can arrive at a height you have never dreamed of, and instead decide on your own where to place them, there is nothing I can do about that either, you have always been the master of your own destiny, to choose freely how and where to go. My anchoring, however, is not simply an idea or metaphor, it is a real energy and power that will continue to be unequivocal and unconditional, expressed in the manner in which I’m built, which to is to love, not passively, but with fierce, protective and deeply active devotion and by every measure I will fight for you. Let me also say this: while I will not deviate from my promise to love and send love to you, my primary purpose in this lifetime is to embrace the power that the Savior offers all of us through grace, and continue to move upward toward the Omega Point along with all those who rise and converge along with me…of that promise and my life’s purpose, I am most adamant.

Let it also be understood that a true anchor does not stand firm in the stone just to watch the horizon alone. The entire, beautiful genius of the system is the shared burden of the climb. To my partner, and to all the cave-escaped blueprints out there, stepping back to act as your anchor instead of lead is not an act of abandonment or a withdrawal of presence or direction, but one of trust, in you and Love, which is the source of everything (as well as being a “leaderless” endeavor). It is a profound, active commitment to hold the space where your vulnerabilities are completely safe, and where your vessel can finally drop its hyper-independent armor to find rest, I am holding Jesus to his promise that all I ask for, in goodness, shall be given to me. My line is secure, my knots are tied, and my boundaries are clear. I am fully prepared to hold the strain of the vertical wall for you while you find your footing, because I know the spectacular height we are capable of reaching when we move in perfect sync. It simply the way the Body of Christ is supposed to work, and make no mistake, the work of this body is a dance, a beautiful, physical, and breathtaking dance, the music of which, comes from all of you.

Weathering Turbulence

The above is a painting I’m working on which calms me a great deal while I forge ahead with building and sharing my gifts. I’ve placed some of my jewelry in a local boutique, and am finalizing details of the installation of my paintings in the public library during the month of July…both of which while great, still make me a little sick to my stomach.

Not that I believed living on a higher plane would be smooth sailing, or a simple exercise in mastering my sea legs…but I didn’t expect this kind of turbulence, especially the kind that nobody else can see, but those who choose to live on a higher plane. I hated writing that last sentence, because it sounds so pretentious, but really, its the opposite. The turbulence comes from the interactions and situations I am presented with, where I can’t unknow what I know now and am forced to choose between the person I was, or the person that I am in the moment, or the person who, in continuous evolution, I really desire to become, meaning every movement forward is a conscious choice between who I am going to be in that exact moment. I’m exhausted, and yet determined to never go backwards…so far, so good (except when I’m alone and I spill or break shit and swear like a sailor…that hasn’t changed). I’m not talking about the overthinking that I sometimes get trapped in…it is those obvious moments where I instinctively know there is a choice to make. The evolution also hasn’t been without help. I’ve had enough smacks on the head from God over my lifetime to remind me to ask for Love’s help when I need it, or to reach out to those I trust to ask for help too, and I’m getting better at it.

I was in a particular unsettling situation recently, ( for me anyway) when I needed a reminder that I was indeed a good person, who does good things, and has made a difference for good in my own way. So being aware that I was in a vulnerable place and didn’t want to backslide, or just coast through, I asked God for a little validation in the physical world from my trajectories, and it came…but not from where I thought it would. I recognized one of my old students at this social gathering, (I had to look him up on Facebook to make sure I didn’t embarrass myself, and it was him) I approached him and said Hello, and it was wonderful! It’s nice to not only be remembered, but to be remembered so fondly and then be introduced as his mentor, and have him share with me how much I have helped him in his life, especially with his faith, well, it made my heart full, and that one validation circumvented those who didn’t. It felt fortuitous that our paths crossed in the way it did and I am thankful to God for that. Accepting that we are all works in progress, evolving at our own pace is what I needed to be reminded of in that moment so I could learn to better deal with any turbulence that comes my way in the future, as well as be supportive of others during their turbulent times. It takes practice to be vulnerable and ask for help, and not look at it like its a weakness, because needing help is a simple facet of being human, and the quicker we all understand and embrace that notion, the quicker we can all evolve forward.

I told someone recently that everyone needs a place where they can feel safe to get all messy and emotional as we work through leaving our past selves behind and not be judged or rejected for it. It’s certainly what I want from those I choose to love, and expect from those who choose to love me. Regardless of my whirling dervish nature, I am worthy of that kind of safety as are those whom I have tamed, not only in the physical world, but the spiritual world as well, because we are forever responsible for those we tame, and also because that is what unequivocal love looks like in my book and it is the only way we keep moving forward together.