Tag: personal truth

Faith in Observations

The above picture is my “what the actual f*ck” face, in response to a nightmare I had last night. I took the above picture at my worst, with no makeup, bad lighting, sweaty after a workout to say I would rather people remember me like this, at my WORST than HOW I was represented in my dream last night….

I was in a room with a huge crowd of people that I do not know engaging in behavior that was different depending on the person interacting with me…and it was GOD AWFULL. It was as if my person had been appropriated and I kept wanting to scream out the person who was not me’s mouth and say “THIS IS NOT ME! I WOULD NEVER DO THAT, SAY THAT, OR ACT LIKE THAT! I literally woke up saying “that is not me.” I felt so nauseated that I fumbled my way to the bathroom. It took more than a minute to settle down and wonder what the actual fuck freaked me out so bad. I’ve been misjudged or misunderstood a lot my whole life…so what was behind my reaction? I came to the conclusion that it all has to do with the faith people put in their own observations…many of which, given the amorphous nature of cyber space, are in truth wholly inaccurate but because of how advanced the kind of fakery and manipulation of information has become out there, and how easily and quickly it can disseminate to others I worry about the impact on how we perceive any person, place or thing is having on the world we live in. And for me as observer? I am left with the very sorry feeling that things are going to get worse before they get better

What my last post was supposed to be about when speaking of walking in my own shoes, removed from any particular role I’ve played in the past, was to hone and purify my observations as I move along my future path. I have spent a lifetime looking into the impact that an observer has on shaping the reality of our world…and with the invention of the internet, AI, and access to millions we can literally “create” a sense of reality that is observable and feels real and yet is completely fabricated…I guess that is what has me freaked out. So let me present the science and power of observation as I understand it…

In the world of quantum the observer, or the means by which “something” is observed, means everything.  Its form depends on “how” it’s observed.  For example, light can exist both as a particle or a wave, depending on how it is observed, which, until quantum physics, was considered impossible.   Physicist Werner Heisenberg, gave even more importance to the observer via the uncertainty principle, which states that the exact position and velocity of a particle cannot both be known at the same time—the more precisely one value is known, the greater the range of possibilities that exist for the other.  Even the act of observing something changes the reality of what is being observed.  In the classical view of the universe, science taught that by eliminating subjective influences nature could be revealed as she really was.  Quantum physics changed that classical viewpoint by exposing a dichotomy between experienced and un-experienced reality.  The idea that the mechanism of observation could actually affect what form matter took forced science into a new paradigm, besides giving great weight to the observer.

The discovery of the wave/particle duality has taken us beyond the limitations of Newtonian physics.  There are two levels of reality which can be said to exist: reality as experienced, or as it exists in relation to the observer; and reality that is un-experienced, or as it exists in the absence of an observer (sort of like the old question does a tree falling in a forest make a sound when no one is there to hear it?).  Un-experienced reality, then, is reality as it exists before or beyond human experience (perhaps in a dimension beyond height, width, weight, depth and time).  Un-experienced reality relates to experiential reality in that it forms the basis or context of experienced reality like an archetype or prototype.  The issue that is of central importance to me is the relationship between what is experienced and what is not.  Naturally, since human beings, as observers, are confined by certain dimensional and subjective limitations, it would seem obvious that the un-experienced dimension has the greater control over what we perceive.  I’m not so sure of that anymore; from my theological background I know the power human beings have to be co-creators of the universe and therefore color every experience with personal meaning.  What I have begun to worry about in this age of information overload, is the effect that all the absolutely made-up bullshit out there in cyberspace that looks and feels like it is real but is a complete fabrication will have on the physical and tangible reality we observe every day. I certainly know that it affects how an observer moves in and responds to the world.

I know I’m sounding heady right now, but with the plethora of examples of false information out there and the actual impact it has made on individual observers can’t be dismissed. I think all this falsehood has shaped our physical reality more dangerously than we will ever know. And I also think there are plenty of evil people out there who know this and have used it to corrupt the goodness that access to information and other people in this world could mean via the internet. Those who control information have the power…which is why Jesus warned us about prophets presenting themselves as wolves in sheep’s clothing. In this age of cyberspace, we all have to be hypervigilant about the truth of what we observe. As I walk forward in my own shoes…I will hone and root what I see and hear in fact not fiction. The dream I had will be a reminder of how easily it is to portray someone in a way that is completely false but feels real, especially when their purpose, like mine, is to wield love and celebrate the true and beautiful blueprint of all God’s people.

Truth and Courage

The word “courage” and the word “truth” are intimately connected…in my book, anyway. While the word courage is often identified with magnanimous feats in history, of war heroes and historical figures and fictional super heroes, I think its most important function is as the foundation for truth. Telling the story of who you are with your whole heart, speaking your truth takes more courage than most would admit, especially, given the temperament of the world today. Given the blatant disregard for truth that exists within powerful hierarchies and the level of sophistication of the lies told, it becomes an even greater challenge to recognize what the actual truth really is so that telling the actual truth becomes an even more courageous exploit. In order to combat the pathology that a culture of lies create…we all need to embrace the courage to tell our own personal truths first, and then stand together when those talented liars who lie try to attack us for it. Once you stand for truth, I’ve found, it is intolerable to accept or perpetuate lies coming from anybody else. And it is speaking out against those lies where courage is so necessary…because there are plenty of people in the world who are not only content with those lies, but thrive on them.

Stripping down the illusions that I surrounded myself with took the greater part of my lifetime and I found the courage to wipe those illusions away in large part because of my faith and a deep experience of unconditional love of God and also those brave souls who’ve shared the stories of their hearts and showed me a different facet of life through their experiences. Being on the beneficiary side of those personal stories revealed to me a broader truth and with every story a greater perspective. Championing truth requires perspective, and since I only have one set of eyes and limited control over my physical movement I often depend on listening to other perspectives to expand and form my world view. As I’ve mentioned before, truth is not two dimensional, it demands we move and try and see things from a different angles and perspectives. Once you strip your own life from illusions it isn’t as difficult when listening to another’s perspective to tell who is being truthful and who is either lying to themselves or has too high a stake in believing the lie. That was a hard statement to write because am I not prescient (well, maybe a little), and certainly don’t want to inhibit anyone from telling their story, but this isn’t about judgement, its about truth. I want everyone to be able to share their truth…I’m just saying that there are some criteria that I use in deciding whether or not I allow their perspective to shape mine or not.

Fear is the first condition I have for rejecting someone’s perspective. Perpetuating fear is the opposite of courage, and is the true cause of hatred in this world. Please let me be clear, being afraid is not the same thing as rooting one’s perspective in it and using it to justify your choices and behavior. Because fear is the greatest illusion of all, truth cannot exist in someone who roots their ideology in fear (1John 4:18), I don’t care if what they are afraid of is the devil, a political party, race or gender, or an intimate partner. It is embracing courage to face your fears and not be controlled by them that frees your heart to speak your truth. And speaking that truth literally makes you free and will distinguish you from the rest of the population who simply succumb to lies that feed their fears.

The second condition is the willingness to change. This is a bit of a slippery slope, because I certainly am not talking about being malleable, to change in accordance with everybody else. I’m also aware that change happens over time and never all at once. I’m talking about the willingness to make necessary changes that must be made in a person’s life when things aren’t working, or honesty when you decide you’re just not ready to make a needed change. Change, while inevitable, is still one of the things that is hard for most people, and it takes a lot of courage to do so. We tell people up front at our clinic that we can’t “fix” anybody without their help. If they are unwilling to change bad habits, there is nothing we can do to help them turn their health around…the individual themselves is the change agent, not those who are supposed to magically fix them. And there are those who will try and convince you that “they” can fix you. It’s just not true. I am the superstar in this equation, I make the changes, I reap the benefit for doing so.

The third condition are those who refuse to take responsibility for their lives and blame others for their life challenges. People who are never responsible for anything that happens in their lives and can point a finger at everyone else but themselves, are not being courageous or truthful. Again, while there are plenty of people who are tragically victimized or face tragic circumstances, I am not talking about them. I am speaking about those who consciously refuse to proactively engage in finding a solution to any problem they face, and instead find a scapegoat to vent their rage and frustration, even if they turn it inward on themselves. While blame may give momentary solace, it never fixes anything and is the source of some of the greatest conflicts in history.

Lastly, are those people who allow structures and institutions in our world to  control them and tell them who they should be in a way that redefines them according to to the acceptable norms within the structure or institution. They tell them who they should be instead of who God created them to be. While I understand civilized people embrace certain behaviors, like the golden rule for instance, those structures whose purpose is only for power and control and superimpose a perspective at the detriment of an individual…I reject. So when someone tells me that God deplores homosexuals, or black people are inferior, or illegal aliens don’t deserve humane treatment, or their “faith” is the only true faith, I know right away they really don’t understand God at all.

All in all, I think truth and courage go hand in hand. It is difficult to share your truth when there are people who would condemn you and judge you for it. It also takes courage to speak truth to power again for the same reasons. I struggle at times worrying about the consequences of the words I speak, I’ve had my share of condemnation and judgment too. But the alternative would be to lie and that’s just not possible at this stage of the game. So, today I pray for courage and to tell the story of who we are with our whole heart.