Category: the body of Christ

Freedom on a Higher Plane

There is nothing that represents freedom to me more than a full moon upon a full body of water…so here is a picture of the snow moon up on Lake Superior…

free·dom

/ˈfrēdəm/

noun

  1. the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint

While I am aware that all of us live within different cultural rules depending on where we exist on this beautiful globe, this post is not about which societal rules are most beneficial. I am speaking about freedom in the context of living on a higher plane. And when it comes to living on a higher plane, the concept of freedom differs from the standard definition I listed above. While all of us are born with the power and right to express our blueprints as God intended without hindrance or restraint, there should be an additional addendum to that definition…Because we are all connected, the freedom “to be” must also be done in accordance to the special part each blueprint plays with respect to the rest of the body, both in a physical and spiritual sense and embracing the kind of behavior that will keep the body healthy and moving forward. Paul in his first letter to Corinthians explains it like this:

Now the body is not a single part, but many. If a foot should say, “Because I am not a hand I do not belong to the body,” it does not for this reason belong any less to the body. Or if an ear should say, “Because I am not an eye I do not belong to the body,” it does not for this reason belong any less to the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the hearing be? If the whole body were hearing, where would the sense of smell be? But as it is, God placed the parts, each one of them, in the body as he intended. If they were all one part, where would the body be? But as it is, there are many parts, yet one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, “I do not need you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I do not need you. “Indeed, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are all the more necessary, and those parts of the body that we consider less honorable we surround with greater honor, and our less presentable parts are treated with greater propriety, whereas our more presentable parts do not need this. But God has so constructed the body as to give greater honor to a part that is without it, so that there may be no division in the body, but that the parts may have the same concern for one another. If (one) part suffers, all the parts suffer with it; if one part is honored, all the parts share its joy. Now you are Christ’s body, and individually parts of it.

It is within the context of this living body of humanity, and the fact that we are all connected together in one body, that the freedom to be as we were intended is balanced with the direction that God has intended for us to follow. In practical application, no single body, community, or civilization can exist without the application of systems or conventions that balance individual freedoms with the freedom of the whole to prosper. As humanity evolves, so too must those systems that balance individual freedom and responsibility to the whole. Think of it this way; the brain, lungs, hands have evolved over time to achieve greater function, but without the body…they cease to have any function or purpose at all. Their value must be seen in light of the whole. This is a bit of a conundrum, especially if ‘the whole’ deviates from God’s purpose and somehow decides that you can’t be who you were meant to be for often fear based reasons. I think the Savior understood the necessity of challenging power and money for this reason. It is also why Paul emphasized that there would always be parts of the body that are given greater spiritual power and understanding because it was their responsibility to make sure greater propriety was given to the weaker parts, because they too, are essential to function of the whole. If the weaker parts fail, so does the whole…if the weaker parts thrive…so does the whole.

When I think about living free from hindrance or restraint, and expressing my blueprint to the best of my ability, I must also take into consideration all those other essential parts of the body who choose to walk with me on a higher plane wherever they are. And rather than being left to figure out on my own how to do that, it is my faith and commitment to the God of love to lead the dance on this higher plane and show me the necessary steps I need to take to balance developing my own blueprint, and the responsibility I have to the rest of those I choose to love as we all move forward. I make this distinction because I can’t be everything to every part of the body of humanity, but I can center my regard and love to those parts of the body who cross my path every day, especially those trajectories I send out love to. I also have to acknowledge how much regard and love I’ve received from those who have been instrumental in helping me figure out the melody of my soul so the part I play in this body is also effectual in the body moving forward. I’m beginning to see that my simple footprint in this world does make a difference and choosing love as the source of my actions every day is all the proof I need to believe in its power.

Besides working to keep the body healthy and in tact, standing still is never an option. The body of humanity will continue to evolve, perhaps not as much from the physical sense…but directionally from a consciousness perspective, and the stakes could not be higher. According to my faith, and indeed many other faiths, there is a cosmic consciousness that has set the direction of humanities’ journey through time, and because of the freedom to choose, it is incumbent upon all of us to decide individually, if we are going to choose God as the cosmic brain that moves us forward or not. The Savior didn’t really give any of us a ton of options. Either we follow him forward as expressions of the Kingdom of Heaven, or we choose the alternative…which is bleak. Now I hate ultimatums just as much as anyone, but laid out over time, not only throughout history but my own life, I came to the conclusion early on that the choice the Savior offered me makes perfect sense, especially in regard to the rhythm of my own soul. Now I also know that humanity has made terrible mistakes when it comes to the applications of all the Saviors teachings especially within traditional church structures, which is why it is always important to keep challenging them, as even Jesus did when their behaviors run contrary to tenets and axioms of what God requires. It is at this point in time where choosing which kind of energy: fear or love will determine whether we evolve forward or backward. For a moment, let me also use science to support this argument.

So, there is also a natural blue print for life as we know it from a scientific perspective which I will explore in a deeper sense in my next post, so I’ll just give you a taste…Teilhard spoke about the necessary precursors to the development of consciousness in humans:

To culminate in humanity at the stage of reflection, life must have been preparing a whole group of factors for a long time and simultaneously. It is true that in the end, from the organic point of view, the whole metamorphosis (i.e. evolution) leading to humans depends on the question of a better brain. But…how was this cerebral perfectioning carried out–how could it have worked–if there had not been a whole series of other conditions brought together at just the same time? The birth of reflective thought marked a critical transformation–a mutation from zero to “everything.” But that birth could be compared with the emergence of a fetus from the womb. The baby at that point still must undergo constant growth before they would become a mature complete human. So it is with humanity: what first issued across the threshold of reflective thought was not yet a complete human, but rather a sort of pre-human. If the creature from which humans evolved had not been a biped, their hands would not have been free in time to release the jaws from their prehensile function, and the thick band of maxillary muscles which had imprisoned the cranium could not have been relaxed. Thanks to two-footedness freeing the hands, the brain was able to grow; and thanks to this too, the eyes (brought closer together on the diminished face) were able to converge and fix on what the hands held and brought before them–the very gesture which formed the external counterpart of reflection. How is it then, that we are not more sensitive to the presence of something greater than ourselves moving forward within us and in our midst.

In conclusion, I will say this about freedom on a higher plane: God gives us individually the right and power to develop our blueprint without hinderance or restraint, but also with the understanding that we do so within the context of being a part of the body of Christ. It is in this context that embracing the power of love, which is the source of our existence and the power by which, in all its expressions, we will keep evolving forward. Like the famous line in the Beatles tune “The End” says: ‘And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make’…

Higher Ground…and so We Begin

Van Cliburn – pianist 1960

I’ve spent the last few days in deep study and reflection in preparation for the idea of living and walking on higher ground. It afforded me an opportunity to look back in hindsight and in doing so I realized how I have spent my lifetime trying to incorporate this very theme into my life and work. It was then, that the directives of this year’s theme became even more exciting, because of how it opened up my mind and spirit in the past. I am cautioned, however, because when I look back objectively, the implementation of this idea throughout my life in specific moments wasn’t altogether very effective. The mechanisms, the events, curriculums, and programs that I created independently never achieved the goals I had anticipated and I was sometimes even punished for them, often leaving me feeling ineffectual. And yet, when I strung them all together over my lifetime…well what I saw wasn’t ineffectual but something else entirely. I had thought, given this direction, that I was to start the year by extracting what I learned from the failures of these accumulated experiences of my past. Failure, as much as accomplishment is often a great gage for me to improve, change or enhance my understanding of how I need to move forward. After last night, however, that is no longer the case. In addition to a powerful dream, another older dream was brought to my mind. To begin, here the dream I had years ago about Van Cliburn’s Hands. https://maryfrancesflood.com/2010/01/28/van-cliburns-hands/

Perhaps it was my attempt to describe my new bed using one of my favorite pianists, or my definite need for a massage, but I have had a recurring dream with Van Cliburn’s hands in it.  Usually it is just the hands, moving beautifully, bringing forth music.  Only the music doesn’t come from a piano, but from me.  My face turned red just writing that phrase, not because of some untoward sexual reference, but because of the intimacy of the action…of being played and the resulting progeny, a tune so beautiful and melodic that it brought a tear to my eye.  I couldn’t remember the melody when I woke up, except the tune was familiar and once I started to sing it, I flew upward into the clouds where a group of ancient looking kings and queens danced in a circle while holding hands.  I wanted them to hear the song, that I could sing it better than anyone else.  I woke before I heard an answer.  For the life of me I couldn’t remember anything else about the song, except those amazing hands and that I had heard the tune before.  Perhaps a connection to a past event or theme?  Who knows, but it was an amazing dream….

It seems personal sharing wasn’t limited to last year, however given this post was written 16 years ago, and it was brought to my attention in another dream I had last night, I think it is very pertinent. I dreamed I was a monkey in a crowd of dancing monkey’s (no, this is not a joke…it is a very serious metaphor connected to the concept of the “100th monkey”…look it up). I saw a director/person in charge leading us to a train of sorts, and I wanted to show him a new dance that had suddenly come to me. I bowed and caught his attention and started to dance to a tune in my mind. At first he really didn’t notice, until all the other monkey’s started dancing to it as well. In my mind, my Spirit guide whispered, “Van Cliburn’s hands” It was then that I woke up and realized that that melody I dreamed of so many years ago is still alive and well inside my soul and this year, hopefully, I can better share this melody and create a choreography, of sorts, that is the result of all the past “movements” I have worked toward, one that others can also dance to, in hopes of creating an expanded way to live out our beautiful blueprints, and love each other more easily and fully. Not to great of a goal, right? Of course I never shirk from throwing it all out there, and I am, after all this time, completely aware that the results of my prayers and year’s journey will be beyond anything I have or can possibly fathom. I also feel the time requires it. This planet, the Body of Humanity and the direction that the God of Love desires for us to shed our light into the darkness also requires all of us all to participate, or it will never come to fruition. For this is what the God of Love requires of us:

So whoever is in Christ is a new creation: the old things have passed away; behold, new things have come. And all this is from God, who has reconciled us to himself through Christ and given us the ministry of reconciliation, namely, God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting their trespasses against them and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. So we are ambassadors for Christ, as if God were appealing through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.

2 Corinthians 5:17-20.


I urge you therefore, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, your spiritual worship. Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect. For by the grace given to me I tell everyone among you not to think of themselves more highly than one ought to think, but to think soberly, each according to the measure of faith that God has apportioned. For as in one body we have many parts, and all the parts do not have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ and individually parts of one another.

Romans 12:1-5.

So I begin, taking what I learned from the past, and walking forward, with the commitment to continue to work on the emotional stability that I learned last year is necessary for wielding love, and with full faith in the God of love and all the beautiful trajectories in my life to share the melody of my soul in all its beauty and uniqueness in the hope that will help us walk and live together on a higher plane. God is my orchestra and you are Van Cliburn’s hands.

Faith in Each Other

Throughout this journey of mine, focusing in on yearly themes: Clarity, Bearing Good fruit, Truth, Love, Joy, Leadership, Seeing and Hearing, Power, Hope, and now Faith, the path forward for me has become so much more clear and open than when I began, and yet my movement forward, while seemingly unobstructed, is with an even greater amount of trepidation. I think the more I’ve observed, learned, and pondered the more I realize the limits of my ability to do anything about what I’ve learned. The painful reality of stripping away the illusions that I’ve embraced over a life time, is the vulnerable smallness of what is left. I am aware of my limited power and capacity as a microscopic and seemingly insignificant part of the body of humanity to have any impact on what appears to be pathological spiral toward extinction, all the while dragging me along for the ride. I believe one of the greatest illusions of our time is to think that we are not significantly connected to every other living being on our planet, and to believe that: 1) the choices we make have no impact on or create consequences for anyone else, or 2) we are aware that our choices do impact and have consequences for others but justify the degree to which any given choice is acceptable by embracing multiple ideologies available out there as a defense or justification. All that being said, I also know, even subtly, that my actions send out ripples that can be life affirming or not, and even if I am just a cell in a larger body, I will hold myself responsible for the life force I’ve been given to play my part in keeping the body healthy and moving forward.

Yes, I am fully aware that this is a post about faith in each other, in which I still have the greatest confidence, so I will shift from the negative to something more positive. My confidence lies, predominantly anyway, in the other simple cells like me who are trying their best to play their part in keeping the body healthy. I don’t want anyone to think that one cell is unimportant in the scope of things because we all know the havoc one cancerous cell can do to a body, eventually. I also want to wake up those small parts of the body who have been chained to the belief that they have nothing to offer, because you do, we all do. We need every gift, every light if we are to survive. One never knows how one’s innate gifts will affect the body of humanity’s ability to thrive. I think the greatest source of evil and darkness in this world are the people who encourage the condemnation and extraction of parts of the body of humanity that have been determined unworthy. There are plenty of loud voices in power clearly determining who the lesser parts of this body are and that they don’t matter. God says otherwise though, that every person is of consequence. Every creation, every gift, every light sends out ripples that can influence and help another part of the body thrive. Every individual has a gift unique to them, a beautiful blueprint that should be celebrated. We have to stop undermining these simple blessings of goodness that make the world go round

This body of humanity still holds and reflects such incredible beauty, some of which I have tried to capture in my art, and has become a powerful fuel for kindling my faith in moving forward. One of my greatest transformations is that once I learned to see and recognize beauty in its multiple forms, I see it so much more clearly, readily and often, (even amidst the all the subterfuge or being co-opted for nefarious purposes). I think the result of recognizing and developing one’s own unique gift, or ones light…and then using it, you begin to have a greater impact and create stronger ripples into the world, bringing that positive energy into someone else’s line of sight, thus influencing them to do the same with their own gifts. The last painting I did (up above) was something completely different, unassociated with anything I know of personally. Somewhere on the other side of the world, I was able to capture an image of a character in a story seeing something beautiful. I don’t think that assessment is a personal invention, because where I have it displayed at our clinic, or at a one of my shows, others stare at it and feel the same way. One person said to me they felt “calmly encouraged” That will be my mechanism for future work. There is just so much beauty I want to capture out there, that I want everyone to feel calmly encouraged.

Leadership, Lies and Loyalty

While it may appear that I’m being swept away by alliterations, I think that this is the most apropos way to end my discussion on leadership and lies. Think for a moment, why would anyone remain loyal, pledge their fidelity to a leader who lies to them? There are many of us who have given our fealty to people who didn’t deserve it, whether it is due to ignorance, willful or not, fear of violence, retribution or loss, perpetuating an environment that supports our own personal illusions, or because stepping away they would lose any advantage they believe they might have as a result of an association with them. I completely understand there are a myriad of reasons why people do what they do, but this isn’t about that, this is about not wanting to remain loyal to a liar. If you don’t care, move on…but if you want to grow and evolve, it would seem to make sense that any loyalties you have should grow and evolve too. This is about analyzing and letting go of loyalties that are just not good for you anymore…and while it should go without saying, the first step is to recognize and acknowledge when you are being lied to.

While I can’t comment on anyone else’s reasons for choosing who to be loyal to, I can tell you the reasons I choose. I remember a long time ago when discussing codependency, I was challenged to look into those relationships that had, but did not deserve my loyalty. Initially, standing on my “strong woman” platform my gut reaction was that that my circle was not huge and that everyone in it was already worthy of my loyalty and I theirs. I thought it would be an easy task and like many of my initial conclusions, I was so wrong. Instead of seeing who certain people really were, I saw them as who I needed them, or wanted them to be much of the time. Without going into detail, I had to decide what criteria was necessary for me to choose who to be loyal to, and secondly, based on that criteria, did the people already in my circle deserve it. And finally, was I deserving of their loyalty too, it is a two-way street after all.

My first criteria is the foundation for any and all of my deep connections I have in my life, any loyalty has to be founded in truth. Liars, carnival barkers and gas lighters need not apply. I had to evaluate whether my associations worked to my detriment or to my sustenance and growth. Did I like who I was as a result of this association, did it bring out or stifle my potential, or did it bring out my better angels and in turn, did I bring out the best in that association as well. It was and still continues to be a long and harrowing journey, because some of the constructs and people I held onto for dear life, began to dissolve before my very eyes when they didn’t hold truth anymore, and the road ahead became more ambiguous and challenging without those comforting landmarks that no longer gave me confidence and hope. I have learned that while life’s journey is filled with many people, most moving beautifully in and then out of ours lives, more often than not our personal journey is a solitary one. And after awhile, I felt comfortable seeing my sojourns as solitary ones, even in the presence, direction and companionship of any leader I choose to follow along the way. Ultimately, where I end up at the end of my life is on me. I feel as if I can see, hear, feel and understand God much better once I stopped trying to see, hear and feel God through someone else’s construct. I think that is why I have such a visceral reaction to those lying liars who lie. Loyalty to these types of leaders is inviolate, never to be questioned or challenged, and more times than not is not reciprocal.

My second criteria is responsibility. Any leader who blames everyone else for their problems, or scapegoats other groups when they get caught up in a lie, making a mistake, or acting in a way that is contrary to what they say they believe, is unworthy of my loyalty. Leaders, regardless of their effectiveness make mistakes…period. If they admit them, take responsibility for them, and learn from them, it is a sure sign that they may indeed deserve my loyalty. The phrase “the buck stops here” has so much more meaning to me now, given the state of blamers out there. I am firmly of the “those who have not sinned throw the first stone” kind of attitude when it comes to responsibility. When a leader understands that they are not infallible, I think they work harder to get it right.

My third criteria is courage. It takes courage to stand in the forefront, share your vision and ask people to follow you even when you may make mistakes, even when you tell them the road may be hard, and there will be challenges and sacrifices along the way but that a renewed commitment to those fundamental building blocks, and axioms that hold us together as a group will set our path toward success. It takes courage to say that one leader doesn’t have all the answers and that we all need to work together and use our individaul gifts collectively. It also takes courage to make choices that help foster unity and not divisiveness, regardless of how hard it is. As the apostle Paul said so eloquently:

But as it is, there are many parts, yet one body.

The eye cannot say to the hand, “I do not need you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I do not need you.”

Indeed, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are all the more necessary,

and those parts of the body that we consider less honorable we surround with greater honor, and our less presentable parts are treated with greater propriety,

whereas our more presentable parts do not need this. But God has so constructed the body as to give greater honor to a part that is without it,

so that there may be no division in the body, but that the parts may have the same concern for one another.

If (one) part suffers, all the parts suffer with it; if one part is honored, all the parts share its joy.

1Corinthians 12:20-26

So all of you leaders out there who have deemed me as inconsequential and unnecessary, or anyone else who you blame for the word’s ills because you are too cowardly to take responsibility for your own actions…you will never have loyalty from me.

Leadership and Listening

In the first book of Kings in the Old Testament there is a story I love when the Lord speaks to Elijah who is in crisis, and tells him to stand outside a cave where he will be passing by. The Lord is not in wind rending the mountains and crushing the rocks, it was not in the earthquake, or next a great fire that pass Elijah by. The Lord was in a whisper that Elijah had to be still to hear. I love that story, because it goes to the heart of the matter of God’s influence. When we shut down the chatter and move away from the noxious drama and all the noise…we will be in a better position to hear God, that is if we really want to hear what God has to say. Listening, while not as flashy as some of the other qualities of a great leader, is, for me anyway, the most essential quality. How can you lead anyone if you can’t hear their pain, their fears, their concerns, their hopes, their passions about the journey ahead? The role of a leader, contrary to many of those who presently act in leadership positions, is not to forge ahead with their own agenda, with everyone else be damned. It is to do what is in the best interest of those who are following you. That being said, the listening only comes after your commitment to what it is you stand for and proclaim, because I guarantee, in the listening process that follows, there will be those who will try to convince you to sway from those ideals to pursue an agenda that will not benefit the whole.

I know I’ve used this before, but in the the first book of Corinthians in the New Testament, Paul creates an apt analogy of the Church being the Body of Christ, with all the many members having different functions to sustain the body, and those differences should be celebrated, because it is their interdependence that allows the Body to fully function. Knowing that in any hierarchy there is a tendency to give greater power to those members that seem more honorable like a foot or hand, and less power to those more unseemly parts, Paul would have none of that and he states logically, if all parts were the same where would the body be? He declares if one part suffers, all parts should suffer, if one part is honored, all parts should share it’s joy. What a beautiful image, right? Sadly it is one where we have failed miserably…and perhaps it is because no one has taken time to listen to the parts of the body that suffer, or to listen to God in the whispers to tell us what to do.

I seem to be in tears a lot these days…a reflection of a developed sense of empathy and artistry, I hope. I hear the pain of those parts of the body of our country, and the scramble of those who try to convince us the pain isn’t real, or those who would damage the rest of the body just so they will listen. So lets all be better at listening, for a start, before we write off a part of this body that isn’t like “our part”. None of us can function if can’t work together and see the value of each gift an individual brings that will keep this body functioning. It need not start from the top down, it just needs to be a reflection of who we are and what we stand for.

In My Shoes

my shoes

I think this will be my last post detailing my year of clarity. I feel complete, for now anyway, and want to enter into the season of light focused only on that. It seems funny that showing you the context of all my previous posts this year will be the subject of my last. I think it’s because I needed to do the journey first, before I open up my coat and share life in my shoes. Perhaps then you can understand why I believe as I do and maybe take something away that you can use on your own journey. The bottom line, is that I can never unhear, all I’ve heard; I can’t unsee all I’ve seen; and most importantly I can’t unknow all I’ve learned. I am who I am because of it.

Also, I needed to have the strength to say to those who are reading this just to be judgmental or to find fuel for your dislike, to say stop reading, or better yet, go ahead, keep reading…because I don’t give a shit anymore. I don’t wish you ill, but I certainly don’t wish you well. Harsh, it’s true. But I think I’ve spent too much time parsing words and feelings not to offend anyone, or try to be my best Solomon in all my posts. While being fair and balanced and living as a disciple of Christ is still my main objective, this election cycle has brought out the true character of many who I just won’t waste my time or breath on anymore. I embrace that is who you are, I just don’t have to listen to you anymore. Make no mistake, I am not talking about those who have a polar opinion from mine, there are still plenty of you in my posse…I’m talking about those who judge before they listen, embrace fear, refuse to look for truth, or only enough to justify their world view and those who only associate with people who are just like them. While the number I disassociate from may be few, it is something I have never done before but need to because of the impact it was having in my life. What’s funny, is I’m sure those people will never know it because they stopped really seeing or listening to me a long time ago.

No axiom, truth or ideology ever comes to me lightly, except the love of God and the call to be a disciple of Christ. While I may be a good student, I am not an easy one. I’ve pissed and moaned and thrown many a tantrum learning valuable lessons. So let me highlight just a few of those instrumental ports of call on my journey of faith. Don’t worry, this isn’t going to be like one of those infernal slide shows that go on forever…just a few tidbits. Know that there are some givens: I have a great family, I’m blessed with privilege and a great deal of comfort. The experience that follows are in addition to, or in spite of.

When I was in college, I used a January term to live in a contemplative monastery in the desert of New Mexico. During my stay at Christ in the Desert, we began our day at 2:30 in the morning to pray according to the divine office of the Rule of St Benedict, an order that balances prayer and work. Without going into depth, I understand why Jesus began his ministry in the desert, in prayer and silence. It was the hardest (and not just because I wasn’t allowed to talk) and most transforming experience of my life. I fought with and conquered many internal demons over that month. It was the foundation for everything that what was to come.

The next January term, I chose to work with the United Farm workers (UFW) movement in La Paz California. There, I saw what solidarity behind a spiritual and nonviolent leader, Caesar Chavez, could do for the powerless and disenfranchised. I was also witness to racism for the first time in my life, and how protesters gallantly withstood all the horrible words and actions taken against them, all just because they desired to be treated fairly, with dignity and pride. I worked as a laborer that month, it was hard, humbling and it refined and polished me in ways I never could have predicted.

After I started working in ministry, I received the chance to travel with the National Council of Churches to then Soviet Russia. It was a terrifying, mind boggling, heart wrenching, uplifting, life transforming experience. It was during that trip at the ripe age of 24 when I saw the impact and effects of raw political power. It was there that I learned to recognize its lizard qualities that slithered and slimed their way into the world. I was no longer the naive, altruistic girl that I once was living in a global world.  I went back four years later to see how it had progressed, doubting that democracy could ever work there efficiently…I was right, it couldn’t. Not that its people aren’t marvelous, they are…there were actually more Christians there than members of the communist party. Politics, though, are another story. It is also why I despise Putin so much.

Throughout my ministry, I worked with the poor and homeless, did respite for the mentally disabled, worked in a nursing home, a drug treatment center for adolescents, was part of a team who worked with modern media and the gospel message. I got to teach, write curriculum and preach the good new of Christ. It wasn’t always easy, but I learned so much and was graced with interacting with so many incredible people. I’ve worked with prisoners and laborers, met rock stars, politicians in Washington and media moguls. I’ve eaten on clay floors and dined on Italian marble. In every one of these experiences people are often the same with varying levels of brokenness. Every one of them needed love beyond the basic dignities of life.

I’ve had the pleasure of having many gay friends who have shown me great sacrifice and commitment in being able to love who their heart chooses. When I was teaching, I was blessed to live in a wonderful neighborhood far beyond my pay grade when I was rented a room in a house from an incredible lesbian woman and her daughter, also gay, and who is now an incredibly powerful pastor in Minneapolis. I will attest to the beauty and strength of all my gay friends and their families and children, and am happy to have them in my life and the life of my family and children too. It is so natural and easy to love them and support them, I cannot fathom why anyone would not (which is a bit sarcastic because traditional religion is the true culprit for all the hate).

I’ve learned to understand sexual abuse, mental illness, suicide and PTSD, all first hand from students, friends and family. I’ve had to live with structural and physical maladies that have greatly altered and challenged my life. Yet in all these times, that in spite of these challenges I was always aware of and felt God’s presence. In fact, all these challenges gave root to all of Jesus teachings for me. The Gospel doesn’t make sense in a perfect hardship free life. Personally, I’ve endured misogyny and abuse, and also great and deep love and support. It’s true, that when you most need them, in the darkest of times special people enter your life to be what you need, and then are on their way.

My latest destination on my journey is to this small little hamlet on the St Croix river. It is insular and safe, uncomplicated and many times without the challenges of the greater world. It was a good place to raise my children except I could never let them be part of the bubble that can exist here. I had walked too far for that. I left my church here, and found another that had a more open world view. And to my boys, I know I forced you to give your Christmas to a poor family, invite the fringe to all your birthday parties, serve on mission trips and study  the bible, and challenge every assumption or stereotype you threw in my face. I demanded you research and listen and be open to others, and dad, more than me made you put only good things in your bodies. Hopefully you will thank me for it some day, cause I am sure proud of how you turned out. We have a wonderful business that brings health to our community and our patients are some of the best people I have ever known.

So after all these steps, this is why I refuse to stand for bigotry and hate. This is why I stand for all my LBGTQ brothers and sisters. This is why I will fight for people of all ethnicities, religious beliefs, and political ideologies. This is why I stand for truth and will never shy away from pointing out inaccuracies that so deeply penetrate our media today. This is why I try so hard to root the Gospel in the most subtle of actions and behaviors. I am who I am, never to be pigeon holed into a left or right column, or belittled by any limiting moniker. My path is one of power and love, because I am a child of God and these are MY shoes. And as a servant of Christ I will fight for your shoes too.

 

Living Without Permission

book of kells

A wise teacher once told me that to truly live, you must do so without permission. Seeing myself as a free spirit and natural rebel, I couldn’t imagine he didn’t see that I had already mastered the concept. “Think about it for a moment”, he then said, “to whom or what do you seek permission?” I just looked at him blankly, wondering what the infernal hell he was talking about. “Total up all the, ‘Don’t think that’, ‘Don’t say that’, ‘Don’t Be that’, or ‘A good Christian says or does’, ‘An attractive woman is’, ‘A successful person is’ and don’t forget all the ‘You have too’s’, and ‘you can’t do that’s’, and you can see that your life is more restrictive than need be. Except no one can define you, restrict you…without your permission. You have all the power to decide, no one else. You decide who or what enhances your life. And it isn’t always easy…because we can’t always choose who the people and circumstances are that surround us and fill our heads. But personal survival depends on those you choose to submit to.” He then gave us an assignment to list what permissions must be extended, and those that must be denied. I cried for a long time while doing that assignment. When challenged to do so, I felt the terrible weight of the shackles that I had the key to unlock all along, and that meant letting go of some people and ideas and learning to see others in a new light. Change sucks, and I certainly understand why people talk themselves into staying in a situation that is toxic, and they are bound, because once the shackles are off…you have to walk on your own.

The reason I bring this lesson to light has much to do with my year of clarity. When I get lost in the business of living, it’s easy to hand over your life in pieces without even being aware of it until suddenly, voila, my journey is weighted down by those shackles again. Except this time, no tears, just resolve. I choose, once again, to live without permission. I’m not talking about anarchy here. There will be always be rules and laws that I submit to because I understand that in the long run they will be as much a service to me as to those that I love, live, work and play with. But to those voices, people and structures who try and rewrite the blueprint that is me because it serves their purpose, I respectfully decline. I know my heart and with clarity I can see who is helping me become and who is keeping me from becoming all that I can be. I decide.

I also know that when I live without permission, I must extend to others the same accord. I must let them live according to their rhythm too. That means dancing a careful dance between support and control, and between fear and love. I am as guilty as any person of treading too far, of overpowering instead of graciously offering, and yet I won’t let myself be punished for trying too hard, even if I am sorry I overstep. And to those who have grown and expanded under my tutelage, I know that is because they have also brought out the best in me too. Because when you live without permission and allow others to live with out permission, everyone benefits. We all get to be our bigger and better selves.

So let me now extend a request. In the comment section on wordpress, share with me one way you would like to live without permission, and I would gladly pray for that to be extended to you. If you wish your comment to remain unpublished, I will submit to that too, (but I will still pray for you). The benefit of throwing it out there for all to see though, is that you will have many more wonderful people out there praying for you too.

Can Optimism Rule?

julian-of-norwichI have to say, this one is a tough one to write. It’s tough because I am, at heart, an eternal optimist. Maybe its the way my brain is wired, or faith, or experience, or insight…or delusion, or any combination of therein. My life has not been easy or tragedy free. All I know, deep in my gut, my core is that all will be well and all manner of things will be well. So it is hard to admit, given how I’m wired…why I’ve struggled with pessimism lately.

Pessimism, you weigh heavy on the world like a thick blanket, and rightly so I suppose, given the circumstances, be it depression, disease, violence, poverty, isolation, ignorance or evil, it can be overwhelming. I have to remind myself daily, no hourly, and sometimes minute by minute that being an optimist doesn’t reject those bad things in the world, it simply means that you decide not to be defined or defeated by them. Life is, at times, hard and depressing because that is its nature. Hardship often presents the greatest lessons and growth, the most poignant evolution. And while my rational mind scoffs at this obvious conclusion, my emotional, more intuitive side stamps its foot at the difficulty and discomfort of it all. It’s at this point of the book when I want to skip over the hard and scary parts and jump to the conclusion and see how it all ends.

I know my life and movement is tethered to the many, that my single commitment to optimism is doomed if others can’t be swayed to jump on the hope train. The reason is that my faith demands that I be part of a larger body and help make it work. I am not alone, and yet I feel alone a lot of the time. There is unrest and anger that inhibits the function of the larger body I am part of. There is fear there too, paralyzing fear. Fear that is covered up by institutional mandates and paranoia that on the surface state that they are there for our own protection, but really serve no other purpose but to cut out those parts of the body that are felt to be less honorable. Remember what Paul said:

those parts of the body we consider less honorable we surround with greater honor, and less presentable parts are treated with greater propriety. Whereas our more presentable parts do not need this. But God has so constructed the body as to give greater honor to a part that is without it, so that there may be no division in the body, but that the parts may have the same concern for one another. If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it; if one part is honored, all the parts share its joy.

Being an optimist does require embracing at the most fundamental level that the dynamic gifts of each person on this planet are essential to keeping the body of Christ functional  in transforming our world to make it better. So to all you pessimists out there, if you can’t embrace the dynamic gifts of those you hold to be less honorable, then you doom us all. Your pessimism halts the function of the body. It makes it weak and susceptible to the very evils that were vanquished by the death, and resurrection of Christ.

I am vague on who the less honorable are, because they are different for every individual. You may hold gay people as less honorable, or transgender people, or straight people, poor people, or rich people, or powerful people, or famous people, or beautiful people,or the sick, the dying, the imprisoned. It doesn’t really matter who. What really matters is that you, pessimist, with your inability to see that each person is essential in God’s eye, limit the power and function of the most powerful body in existence. A body that has the superpowers of Grace and love, and a gospel of instructions on how to make the body move. It would be easy for me to tell you to get lost, find another body to be part of, but then I would be no better than you. My anger would keep me from recognizing your value, your part to play. So let me say this: my optimism trumps your pessimism. I do know the ending to this story, and I win. So win with me, say over and over again that all things shall be well and all manner of things shall be well, and soon your eyes will be open to the world I wake up to every day. As dark as the world may seem, know that the battle is won. When God is with us (and I mean all of us) who can be against us?

Being an optimist begins with you, it means embracing this truth: you are an essential ingredient in maintaining, sustaining and transforming our human evolution. It means that you have impact and worth regardless of any feedback. You act, because you know on even the smallest level that you can move the world forward. Let it bring a smile to your face, a confidence that you have never had before. No one, not even the most pessimistic hater can ever take that away. Let me honor you, celebrate you and share your joy. And if you can’t, know that I will suffer with you, and pray for your transformation.

 

IBS of the Soul

broken crossIt is a slippery slope when science modifies nature without regard for the consequences. As uncomfortable as it is talking about the mess we’ve made with our foodstuffs it pales in comparison to what humanity has done with the scripture that is meant to save the world. While I realize that the words of Jesus are subject to interpretation, like our modern made food stuffs, if we aren’t careful the words can be compromised. The torture for me is trying to understand and embrace the real truth. How can I have a better handle on the teachings of Jesus than anyone else? I’m just a person with a singular perspective. Yes, I have a degree in theology, I have devoted much of my life in the service of Christ and yet I have no greater claim on truth than anyone else who shares in the gift of grace. So here is my take. While it took me awhile to realize that the bread I was eating was poisoning and being rejected by my body, so it is with my soul rejecting some of what is being preached as the Word of God and not in the way that the Gospel challenges us and makes us uncomfortable to become better Christians, but more visceral. Like the body’s rejection of manufactured foods, manufactured faith is just as lethal. I’m speaking about the kind of faith that may taste good, but really isn’t good for you.

After writing and then deleting the start of this paragraph about 50 times, once again I have accept the fact that I may sound self-righteous and a bit arrogant…but there is so much violence and hatred even among Christians, that I just can’t stand it anymore. I think of it like this: the primary focus of our faith shouldn’t be on weaponizing it to keep people out, or beating down Satan in the way of pointing the finger at the evil of the moment. For the love of all that is Holy, people! Jesus fought that fight, so we don’t have to. Our only job….let me say that again, OUR ONLY JOB is to LOVE ONE ANOTHER AS JESUS LOVED US. Love feeds the soul and makes it stronger. Hatred, judgement, fear, anger, self-righteousness emaciates the soul and makes it weak.

Just think about it for a moment. Is the Body of Christ alive and well? Does it consist of only what you have a taste for? Scripture, like life, can’t be rewritten to appeal to the crazy pace and affluence of modern living. Our bodies become stronger when we exercise and put forth hard effort, even when it’s uncomfortable. Our immune systems become stronger when they are put to work naturally to fight off illness, and sometimes that means dealing with sickness or physical challenges. Our souls, demand the same kind of workout. Being a Christian isn’t always about consuming things that taste good, sometimes we just can’t eat candy or cake…we need vegetables and protein.

The Word of God, is Gods and when the Word is used to serve only individual purpose we poison them. In the end, the strength of the soul will be defined by how well we can love one another…of that I am sure.

Disassembling Christ

Parts-of-the-human-body-systemSomeone told me the other day about a new religious group they were concerned about that held the attention of a family member. Essentially it had the audacity to say that the words of Jesus are mostly irrelevant because he was only speaking to the Jews, and that modern Christians should focus on the epistles only to shape their behavior because Paul spoke to the Christian Church. I was speechless…and yeah, that almost never happens. I calmly and clearly said that I thought that was the most diabolically ingenious way of disassembling the power of Christ that I’ve ever heard. Seriously, just think about it. What better way to justify the growing trend of almost reinventing Christianity than to render the very words of the one who saved us null and void because they were directed to a population that has historically been the focus of so much hatred?

While it may be easy to disregard groups like these as delusional, I think there are plenty more watered down examples of the same kind of twisting of Christian tradition to justify a particular politic, policy or personal taste. Jesus did not speak in hyperbole. When he said love your enemies, he wasn’t just talking about a rival team, or just the Jews. He said that “I am the way, the truth and the life,” and no, disrespect to Paul…the only the way to eternal life was through Him. In my book that means following his message, which is so much more universal and inclusive than is being presented 2000 years later.

Think of this: what better way for evil to take hold of us than to twist the very thing that was meant to save us into a version that satiates the twisted, deep seated neuroses that justifies hatred and judgement of those who are physically or ideologically different that we are? We are all the Body of Christ, (Go Paul!) no part can say to the other that they are not important because they have a different part to play in the function of the whole. God placed the parts, each one of them, in the body as he intended. We were all given to drink of one Spirit, so the whole body could function as a whole, even though our roles would be different. Wouldn’t the best diabolical plan of the evil one, who was destroyed by the death and resurrection of Christ, be to disassemble the Body that Christ and paralyzing it, rendering it nonfunctional by twisting the very words of scripture to do so? What makes us work as Christians is that we are all in this together. When one suffers, we all do…when one is honored, we all share the joy. Anything less is buying into an illusion whose sole purpose is to obstruct the way that is already open to us.

It is completely illusory to think that Jesus was speaking hypothetically…EVER. His words are pretty clear. He loved everyone, even those whom no one loved, he fed the multitudes and taught anyone who would listen. The world’s power was not his power but  God’s. He said they would know we are disciples by how we love one another and that with love we could do all things. He is the way, the truth and the life. Isn’t it about time we take him at HIS word? I do.