Joy and Dancing

I keep thinking God is punking me with  joy as a my yearly focus…especially given all that is happening in the world right now…what exactly is there to be joyful about? And then I had an epiphany…and danced. In context, my beautiful niece got married last weekend. Most people had to travel (we did) and some from abroad. There were cancellations, concerns, anxiety and some frayed nerves. Yet love was celebrated, families were together, and in the face of  growing world fear, an opportunity for joy. So this is what I exercised during this trip: conscious joy. In every moment, to find the joy, because its there, always present and waiting to be seen and felt.

I saw joy when myself and others exercised kindness, others so appreciated it. I saw joy in the joining of two phenomenal people in love, and felt joy in all that we as parents accomplished with such amazing offspring and support for one another. I found joy in the warm sun, beautiful surroundings and time to breath (and I don’t mean that metaphorically). I felt overwhelming joy watching my brother and his daughter dance together, and felt an other worldly presence of my niece’s mother and my father who both have passed that washed over me with joy also. I practiced joy in re figuring crazy moments and laughed about them. And then, even though I didn’t want to at first…when given the opportunity, I danced…just like I used to. At that moment I remembered how much I loved it, why I did it and could feel my joy alter the world, even if in a minuscule way. I’m still paying for it now (my body just doesn’t work that way anymore) but it was the best reminder of why my favorite verse was David dancing naked before the ark of the covenant. It transformed my fear, and I realized that joy can be found at all moments. It reminded me why I am a  person of faith. It reminded me that all things are indeed possible if we have faith in God, ourselves and each other.

I am beginning to appreciate that my theme this year is joy. I think God knew I would be prone to dark moments and hopelessness. So I am conscious of it at all times. Joy can be found even in the darkest moments, because we are the very creation of love, and with that understanding comes joy. And this understanding will be crucial as we move forward in this crisis…for me I will try to exercise joy.

You would know the secret of death

ireland-cross

Here is the poem I read at my father’s funeral…I made it almost the whole way through, until the part about dancing…

On Death

Kahlil Gibran

You would know the secret of death. But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life? The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light. If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life. For life and death are one, even as the the river and the sea are one.

In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond; and like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring. Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity. Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honor. Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king? Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?

For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun? And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?

Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing. And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb. And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then you shall truly dance.

 

I still hear his voice, telling me that the smallest gestures can make the largest impact, to live fearlessly and faithfully. I embrace fully in the dream of building the Kingdom of God, one simple brick at a time. Papa, you taught me that and you showed me that by all the people that showed up to celebrate you…from your students, neighbors, colleagues, family, the diocese, and many friends. Your heart was open wide to the body of Life and from above you still walk with me and all those you love to keep singing and dancing until we meet our King.