So, this post may sound a bit esoteric but bear with me. I have found standing in the still point and being open to receive particularly frustrating and confusing, especially since what was “coming to me” felt like it originated somewhere else and didn’t belong to me…like I was a receptacle or something. I’m not saying that I felt like I was being a cosmic garbage can, but more specifically a receptacle for other’s energy that I could only sense once I was standing still, unmoving as it were. It felt like energy that came to me because I was the one that opened a conduit by sending out trajectories of love outward to help let other’s light and blueprints shine. Think of it like I explained how quantum theory changes the dynamic of knowing the placement of one molecule when measuring another because the probabilities of what that becomes change according to the mechanism of the tool of observation. I know that’s too heady, so suffice it to say, when I was asked to stand still and stop moving, there was energy there all around me, coming from the sources to whom I was projecting my prayers of love. I also wondered if that was why I had so many conflicting emotions and why I truly was all over the place. That, coupled with figuring out why exactly I was learning to embrace and understand all aspects of love, especially where I was weakest and whether or not I would move forward loving unequivocally, I think I have figured some things out.
OK, I took a break to go out and have supper (I really didn’t feel like cooking) and while I won’t go into specifics, my phone blew up and gave me the undeniable proof I needed that I was right on the mark with my above assessment. While I know I had to go through this on my own, (although it would have been nice to get a heads up from my spirit guide that I was on the right track) I will say this. I know I have been struggling with the whole God’s whisperer role, its purpose and practice…now I no longer feel that way. I compare it to facing a difficult challenge, and the moments of doubt that plague me right before I complete it, or get to the top, wondering whether or not all this struggle was worth it just to have that doubt obliterated when I actually do complete it…like getting to an ever higher mountain and my view is forever changed. I see how empowered I am as a result. You think I would know this by now, but in truth…every new challenge has pushed the envelope of usual convention so far, that it almost seems reasonable to doubt whether or not there actually is an envelope to push and I just made all this shit up. Thankfully, God came through and offered me an insight and reward that let me know I had fulfilled the challenges of embracing unequivocal love. BOOM!
From my small and simple place, a world away somewhere in a crowd, in a foreign place (a line from my new favorite song) I, God’s whisperer, and now muse…I send out to all those who come here for inspiration or are a simply a fellow sojourner on a path of evolving faith and love, an even more powerful prayer, because I now get why I needed to understand and embrace all manners of love and what it requires so I can wield it more effectively. I feel demonstrably different and I am physically a different person than when I began this year of faith. I am a more powerful source of energy and prayer for God because I asked to be, especially for those members of the body Christ who may need help and felt alone. As a result, I want to extend unequivocally to all of you who are working to express your beautiful blueprints in the manner that love requires of all of us and will become a light to the world, a prayer, that when you ask in goodness are promised by Christ that it will be given to you:
I pray, as promised by the Savior that all things asked in goodness shall be granted to me, that I will be unencumbered by doubt and fear as I utilize the gifts you have given me to spread my gift, my blueprint as light to the world and become a tool to defeat darkness, and that I can break through my own limitations, and like Peter did step out of the boat when Jesus said “come” and allow the power of all Jesus promised to bring hope to the world through the simple gifts you have given me. I pray that through my example that others too can celebrate their gifts and share them with the world, thereby strengthening the body of Christ and bringing forth the Kingdom of Heaven,
From my vantage point, I just want to let you know that you will never be alone, that I am praying for you always from a much more powerful position than when I began…that doesn’t mean I’m done with my journey, just this part of it (thank you Jesus, it almost killed me). I must say, too…that many of you have inspired me as well and forever changed the way I see a wheat field. I know I will never be the same, and I have you to thank for that. Ok, I have to stop before I dissolve into a blathering idiot. Peace and love to you.