Tag: the body of Christ

Higher Ground…and so We Begin

Van Cliburn – pianist 1960

I’ve spent the last few days in deep study and reflection in preparation for the idea of living and walking on higher ground. It afforded me an opportunity to look back in hindsight and in doing so I realized how I have spent my lifetime trying to incorporate this very theme into my life and work. It was then, that the directives of this year’s theme became even more exciting, because of how it opened up my mind and spirit in the past. I am cautioned, however, because when I look back objectively, the implementation of this idea throughout my life in specific moments wasn’t altogether very effective. The mechanisms, the events, curriculums, and programs that I created independently never achieved the goals I had anticipated and I was sometimes even punished for them, often leaving me feeling ineffectual. And yet, when I strung them all together over my lifetime…well what I saw wasn’t ineffectual but something else entirely. I had thought, given this direction, that I was to start the year by extracting what I learned from the failures of these accumulated experiences of my past. Failure, as much as accomplishment is often a great gage for me to improve, change or enhance my understanding of how I need to move forward. After last night, however, that is no longer the case. In addition to a powerful dream, another older dream was brought to my mind. To begin, here the dream I had years ago about Van Cliburn’s Hands. https://maryfrancesflood.com/2010/01/28/van-cliburns-hands/

Perhaps it was my attempt to describe my new bed using one of my favorite pianists, or my definite need for a massage, but I have had a recurring dream with Van Cliburn’s hands in it.  Usually it is just the hands, moving beautifully, bringing forth music.  Only the music doesn’t come from a piano, but from me.  My face turned red just writing that phrase, not because of some untoward sexual reference, but because of the intimacy of the action…of being played and the resulting progeny, a tune so beautiful and melodic that it brought a tear to my eye.  I couldn’t remember the melody when I woke up, except the tune was familiar and once I started to sing it, I flew upward into the clouds where a group of ancient looking kings and queens danced in a circle while holding hands.  I wanted them to hear the song, that I could sing it better than anyone else.  I woke before I heard an answer.  For the life of me I couldn’t remember anything else about the song, except those amazing hands and that I had heard the tune before.  Perhaps a connection to a past event or theme?  Who knows, but it was an amazing dream….

It seems personal sharing wasn’t limited to last year, however given this post was written 16 years ago, and it was brought to my attention in another dream I had last night, I think it is very pertinent. I dreamed I was a monkey in a crowd of dancing monkey’s (no, this is not a joke…it is a very serious metaphor connected to the concept of the “100th monkey”…look it up). I saw a director/person in charge leading us to a train of sorts, and I wanted to show him a new dance that had suddenly come to me. I bowed and caught his attention and started to dance to a tune in my mind. At first he really didn’t notice, until all the other monkey’s started dancing to it as well. In my mind, my Spirit guide whispered, “Van Cliburn’s hands” It was then that I woke up and realized that that melody I dreamed of so many years ago is still alive and well inside my soul and this year, hopefully, I can better share this melody and create a choreography, of sorts, that is the result of all the past “movements” I have worked toward, one that others can also dance to, in hopes of creating an expanded way to live out our beautiful blueprints, and love each other more easily and fully. Not to great of a goal, right? Of course I never shirk from throwing it all out there, and I am, after all this time, completely aware that the results of my prayers and year’s journey will be beyond anything I have or can possibly fathom. I also feel the time requires it. This planet, the Body of Humanity and the direction that the God of Love desires for us to shed our light into the darkness also requires all of us all to participate, or it will never come to fruition. For this is what the God of Love requires of us:

So whoever is in Christ is a new creation: the old things have passed away; behold, new things have come. And all this is from God, who has reconciled us to himself through Christ and given us the ministry of reconciliation, namely, God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting their trespasses against them and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. So we are ambassadors for Christ, as if God were appealing through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.

2 Corinthians 5:17-20.


I urge you therefore, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, your spiritual worship. Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect. For by the grace given to me I tell everyone among you not to think of themselves more highly than one ought to think, but to think soberly, each according to the measure of faith that God has apportioned. For as in one body we have many parts, and all the parts do not have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ and individually parts of one another.

Romans 12:1-5.

So I begin, taking what I learned from the past, and walking forward, with the commitment to continue to work on the emotional stability that I learned last year is necessary for wielding love, and with full faith in the God of love and all the beautiful trajectories in my life to share the melody of my soul in all its beauty and uniqueness in the hope that will help us walk and live together on a higher plane. God is my orchestra and you are Van Cliburn’s hands.

Faith in Each Other

Throughout this journey of mine, focusing in on yearly themes: Clarity, Bearing Good fruit, Truth, Love, Joy, Leadership, Seeing and Hearing, Power, Hope, and now Faith, the path forward for me has become so much more clear and open than when I began, and yet my movement forward, while seemingly unobstructed, is with an even greater amount of trepidation. I think the more I’ve observed, learned, and pondered the more I realize the limits of my ability to do anything about what I’ve learned. The painful reality of stripping away the illusions that I’ve embraced over a life time, is the vulnerable smallness of what is left. I am aware of my limited power and capacity as a microscopic and seemingly insignificant part of the body of humanity to have any impact on what appears to be pathological spiral toward extinction, all the while dragging me along for the ride. I believe one of the greatest illusions of our time is to think that we are not significantly connected to every other living being on our planet, and to believe that: 1) the choices we make have no impact on or create consequences for anyone else, or 2) we are aware that our choices do impact and have consequences for others but justify the degree to which any given choice is acceptable by embracing multiple ideologies available out there as a defense or justification. All that being said, I also know, even subtly, that my actions send out ripples that can be life affirming or not, and even if I am just a cell in a larger body, I will hold myself responsible for the life force I’ve been given to play my part in keeping the body healthy and moving forward.

Yes, I am fully aware that this is a post about faith in each other, in which I still have the greatest confidence, so I will shift from the negative to something more positive. My confidence lies, predominantly anyway, in the other simple cells like me who are trying their best to play their part in keeping the body healthy. I don’t want anyone to think that one cell is unimportant in the scope of things because we all know the havoc one cancerous cell can do to a body, eventually. I also want to wake up those small parts of the body who have been chained to the belief that they have nothing to offer, because you do, we all do. We need every gift, every light if we are to survive. One never knows how one’s innate gifts will affect the body of humanity’s ability to thrive. I think the greatest source of evil and darkness in this world are the people who encourage the condemnation and extraction of parts of the body of humanity that have been determined unworthy. There are plenty of loud voices in power clearly determining who the lesser parts of this body are and that they don’t matter. God says otherwise though, that every person is of consequence. Every creation, every gift, every light sends out ripples that can influence and help another part of the body thrive. Every individual has a gift unique to them, a beautiful blueprint that should be celebrated. We have to stop undermining these simple blessings of goodness that make the world go round

This body of humanity still holds and reflects such incredible beauty, some of which I have tried to capture in my art, and has become a powerful fuel for kindling my faith in moving forward. One of my greatest transformations is that once I learned to see and recognize beauty in its multiple forms, I see it so much more clearly, readily and often, (even amidst the all the subterfuge or being co-opted for nefarious purposes). I think the result of recognizing and developing one’s own unique gift, or ones light…and then using it, you begin to have a greater impact and create stronger ripples into the world, bringing that positive energy into someone else’s line of sight, thus influencing them to do the same with their own gifts. The last painting I did (up above) was something completely different, unassociated with anything I know of personally. Somewhere on the other side of the world, I was able to capture an image of a character in a story seeing something beautiful. I don’t think that assessment is a personal invention, because where I have it displayed at our clinic, or at a one of my shows, others stare at it and feel the same way. One person said to me they felt “calmly encouraged” That will be my mechanism for future work. There is just so much beauty I want to capture out there, that I want everyone to feel calmly encouraged.

Leadership, Lies and Loyalty

While it may appear that I’m being swept away by alliterations, I think that this is the most apropos way to end my discussion on leadership and lies. Think for a moment, why would anyone remain loyal, pledge their fidelity to a leader who lies to them? There are many of us who have given our fealty to people who didn’t deserve it, whether it is due to ignorance, willful or not, fear of violence, retribution or loss, perpetuating an environment that supports our own personal illusions, or because stepping away they would lose any advantage they believe they might have as a result of an association with them. I completely understand there are a myriad of reasons why people do what they do, but this isn’t about that, this is about not wanting to remain loyal to a liar. If you don’t care, move on…but if you want to grow and evolve, it would seem to make sense that any loyalties you have should grow and evolve too. This is about analyzing and letting go of loyalties that are just not good for you anymore…and while it should go without saying, the first step is to recognize and acknowledge when you are being lied to.

While I can’t comment on anyone else’s reasons for choosing who to be loyal to, I can tell you the reasons I choose. I remember a long time ago when discussing codependency, I was challenged to look into those relationships that had, but did not deserve my loyalty. Initially, standing on my “strong woman” platform my gut reaction was that that my circle was not huge and that everyone in it was already worthy of my loyalty and I theirs. I thought it would be an easy task and like many of my initial conclusions, I was so wrong. Instead of seeing who certain people really were, I saw them as who I needed them, or wanted them to be much of the time. Without going into detail, I had to decide what criteria was necessary for me to choose who to be loyal to, and secondly, based on that criteria, did the people already in my circle deserve it. And finally, was I deserving of their loyalty too, it is a two-way street after all.

My first criteria is the foundation for any and all of my deep connections I have in my life, any loyalty has to be founded in truth. Liars, carnival barkers and gas lighters need not apply. I had to evaluate whether my associations worked to my detriment or to my sustenance and growth. Did I like who I was as a result of this association, did it bring out or stifle my potential, or did it bring out my better angels and in turn, did I bring out the best in that association as well. It was and still continues to be a long and harrowing journey, because some of the constructs and people I held onto for dear life, began to dissolve before my very eyes when they didn’t hold truth anymore, and the road ahead became more ambiguous and challenging without those comforting landmarks that no longer gave me confidence and hope. I have learned that while life’s journey is filled with many people, most moving beautifully in and then out of ours lives, more often than not our personal journey is a solitary one. And after awhile, I felt comfortable seeing my sojourns as solitary ones, even in the presence, direction and companionship of any leader I choose to follow along the way. Ultimately, where I end up at the end of my life is on me. I feel as if I can see, hear, feel and understand God much better once I stopped trying to see, hear and feel God through someone else’s construct. I think that is why I have such a visceral reaction to those lying liars who lie. Loyalty to these types of leaders is inviolate, never to be questioned or challenged, and more times than not is not reciprocal.

My second criteria is responsibility. Any leader who blames everyone else for their problems, or scapegoats other groups when they get caught up in a lie, making a mistake, or acting in a way that is contrary to what they say they believe, is unworthy of my loyalty. Leaders, regardless of their effectiveness make mistakes…period. If they admit them, take responsibility for them, and learn from them, it is a sure sign that they may indeed deserve my loyalty. The phrase “the buck stops here” has so much more meaning to me now, given the state of blamers out there. I am firmly of the “those who have not sinned throw the first stone” kind of attitude when it comes to responsibility. When a leader understands that they are not infallible, I think they work harder to get it right.

My third criteria is courage. It takes courage to stand in the forefront, share your vision and ask people to follow you even when you may make mistakes, even when you tell them the road may be hard, and there will be challenges and sacrifices along the way but that a renewed commitment to those fundamental building blocks, and axioms that hold us together as a group will set our path toward success. It takes courage to say that one leader doesn’t have all the answers and that we all need to work together and use our individaul gifts collectively. It also takes courage to make choices that help foster unity and not divisiveness, regardless of how hard it is. As the apostle Paul said so eloquently:

But as it is, there are many parts, yet one body.

The eye cannot say to the hand, “I do not need you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I do not need you.”

Indeed, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are all the more necessary,

and those parts of the body that we consider less honorable we surround with greater honor, and our less presentable parts are treated with greater propriety,

whereas our more presentable parts do not need this. But God has so constructed the body as to give greater honor to a part that is without it,

so that there may be no division in the body, but that the parts may have the same concern for one another.

If (one) part suffers, all the parts suffer with it; if one part is honored, all the parts share its joy.

1Corinthians 12:20-26

So all of you leaders out there who have deemed me as inconsequential and unnecessary, or anyone else who you blame for the word’s ills because you are too cowardly to take responsibility for your own actions…you will never have loyalty from me.

Leadership and Listening

In the first book of Kings in the Old Testament there is a story I love when the Lord speaks to Elijah who is in crisis, and tells him to stand outside a cave where he will be passing by. The Lord is not in wind rending the mountains and crushing the rocks, it was not in the earthquake, or next a great fire that pass Elijah by. The Lord was in a whisper that Elijah had to be still to hear. I love that story, because it goes to the heart of the matter of God’s influence. When we shut down the chatter and move away from the noxious drama and all the noise…we will be in a better position to hear God, that is if we really want to hear what God has to say. Listening, while not as flashy as some of the other qualities of a great leader, is, for me anyway, the most essential quality. How can you lead anyone if you can’t hear their pain, their fears, their concerns, their hopes, their passions about the journey ahead? The role of a leader, contrary to many of those who presently act in leadership positions, is not to forge ahead with their own agenda, with everyone else be damned. It is to do what is in the best interest of those who are following you. That being said, the listening only comes after your commitment to what it is you stand for and proclaim, because I guarantee, in the listening process that follows, there will be those who will try to convince you to sway from those ideals to pursue an agenda that will not benefit the whole.

I know I’ve used this before, but in the the first book of Corinthians in the New Testament, Paul creates an apt analogy of the Church being the Body of Christ, with all the many members having different functions to sustain the body, and those differences should be celebrated, because it is their interdependence that allows the Body to fully function. Knowing that in any hierarchy there is a tendency to give greater power to those members that seem more honorable like a foot or hand, and less power to those more unseemly parts, Paul would have none of that and he states logically, if all parts were the same where would the body be? He declares if one part suffers, all parts should suffer, if one part is honored, all parts should share it’s joy. What a beautiful image, right? Sadly it is one where we have failed miserably…and perhaps it is because no one has taken time to listen to the parts of the body that suffer, or to listen to God in the whispers to tell us what to do.

I seem to be in tears a lot these days…a reflection of a developed sense of empathy and artistry, I hope. I hear the pain of those parts of the body of our country, and the scramble of those who try to convince us the pain isn’t real, or those who would damage the rest of the body just so they will listen. So lets all be better at listening, for a start, before we write off a part of this body that isn’t like “our part”. None of us can function if can’t work together and see the value of each gift an individual brings that will keep this body functioning. It need not start from the top down, it just needs to be a reflection of who we are and what we stand for.

Breath

Suddenly the air is gone, lungs burn, the automatic function of living is momentarily halted because of an unthinkable tragedy…we have to breathe and we can’t, the shock of it halts the involuntary exercise of bringing air in and exhaling it out, it seems impossible, painful and exhausting. The heart stops and then begins to pound as the adrenaline and panic kick in. There is an unconscious will that supersedes the painful blow and we suck in air and as the pain spreads air is forced back out, and brought in again. Your thoughts go straight to no, no, no, this can’t be happening, this can’t be right, there must be a mistake. Lives so vibrant can’t be gone…life doesn’t, couldn’t, shouldn’t work this way. The sadness is enveloping, overpowering and paralyzing.

There is no correct script for handling death…and there are no feelings that are off limits. The path that the immediate family walks is obliterated and altered to the road never wanted to be traveled, ever. But it is the love that fills in the cracks of all who are shattered by the simple gestures of loved ones: hugs, stories, prayers, and food that will help hold them up for whatever is to follow. The love is what will augment and keep resilient the shattered and brokenness of the present moments. It is the love that is the strength of this small community and the connections that are depicted in scripture when the apostle Paul talks about the body of Christ being many different parts holding on together each with different jobs to do to keep the body living and breathing together, in love. This body becomes a sanctuary that protects these moments of intimacy, and makes breathing, in and out become less stressful when it is done together. Being cherished and loved will make the new road traveled less lonely. It is impressive thing to witness for this big city girl.

There is much comfort that lives in this place, even amidst the pain. Kindness and generosity flow in waves over this community who have pulled together more than once to celebrate the ripple effect these two young men and others have brought into the world. It is a reminder to all of us to remain on our best behavior and place the pettiness that often overwhelms us aside and remember who we really are. The presence of these beautiful young men must continue to be reflected in our daily lives. Their ripples that flow outward into the world are now our responsibility. We now breathe for them and for all those who loved them.

The Whole is Greater than the Sum of its Parts

While this quote of Aristotle always inspired me whenever I felt overwhelmed or alone, frustrated with my own limitations and inadequacies…it also rendered me dissatisfied and disillusioned in my quest to be a member of that one great whole, or team that I could latch onto and add my small part to a much greater and more powerful transformation. While I’ve been a party to many groups in my lifetime, with the pledge to add my part to build something greater, also came the disappointment that comes with recognizing even the whole itself is horribly fallible. When the big picture starts to be a reflection of the flaws of its smaller parts at a greater rate than the many gifts that are present…then it’s time to pick a new team.

In choosing clarity as my focus for the year, sometimes it means that we look at those groups that we are but a small part of. It is never easy, trying to be objective about a group that you’ve committed to, at least in theory, and asking these questions: Is the whole, the group that I’m part of really greater than its parts? Is it pulling the best of the many into an even better whole? Does it reflect the best of me? If you don’t like the answers to any of these questions, then it may be important to step away and reject the whole, in favor of just a solitary part. If the whole doesn’t embrace the best parts of me…even with all my flaws, its’ time to step away.

I could remain vague, but I don’t think that would fall in line with my commitment to clarity, and would leave you confused. So I say this: While my commitment to be an active part of the Body of Christ is as strong as it has ever been, I am leery of the the body that calls itself church as the primary means to create and keep the body of Christ functioning. Oh yeah, I said it. Remember, I am making this claim. While I do see progress in the name of building the Body of Christ all over the world, the progress lies in the small parts and not the whole. I can give you a ton of individual anecdotes about people doing wonderful things…But when it comes to the whole? whew, those “bodies” are too much a reflection of people who look alike, think alike, and talk alike about what the rest of the world needs to do to be more like them, and what the “real” church has to look like.

So I call bullshit. If we are to really be a church, an expression of the Body of Christ and the Kingdom of God….then it has to reflect all of us, even the lesser parts (which will look different to every individual part who thinks they are so much more important, enlightened, and blessed than everyone else). It includes the wealthy and the poor, men and women, all ethnic groups and gender expressions, idiots and geniuses, the strong and the weak, the courageous and afraid, liberals and conservatives etc., etc. Because truthfully? All of us are fallible and fragile on our own. All of us need God, and not in all the same way. We do need each other to move ahead. But we need to use our best selves and allow others to be their best selves to do it. The Gospels are full of ways to be our best selves…when was the last time you walked in someone else’s shoes, not judged, gave out of need instead of excess, sold all you had, visited someone in prison, danced naked before the Lord..(ok, that last one is my favorite…you really should try it sometimes, it makes the other stuff so much easier to do).

And so comes the how. It is by God’s grace, and Christ’s essential commandment: Love the Lord your God with all your soul and with all your mind and love your neighbor as yourself. It may be messy. It may be hard. But it is what is required of us.