Tag: Marriage

Not to Convince, but to Love

Rainbow_Thumbnail_mediumLove will always win.  Love, after all, is the source of our world and all that is part of it. And though I am flawed, I was made whole by love through Jesus Christ.  I think a lot about that last statement and what it means as I walk in the world day-to-day. In response to the seminal ruling last friday, there seems to be so much angst for many Christians, to which I respond…Good!

I say that because we have focused so long on what love is supposed to look like: what the acceptable expression and demonstration of it must be that we have limited the very power of  that which was unleashed to save us. I think much of the anger is steeped in a historical revulsion of sexual expression period. I think it also brings up the fear of change in the institution of marriage that has already rightfully evolved throughout history (and that includes biblical history) from slavery and control to mutual love and respect. As I have always taught my children…sex isn’t love. Love can transform sex into something more, and marriage is an amazing and protective institution to do just that. It isn’t just a means for acceptable moral sex, but a shout out to the world that you are making it sacred by a commitment and vow to another person.

I thought of using Jesus’ words as a means to convince people not to be afraid or to judge, or to not throw stones, but all that logic has to do with sin…and then I realized that I am not talking about sin here, but love and it is not my job to engage in debate or convince anyone of my point of view. The only job I am commanded to do as a Christian is to spread the good news, the gospel that Jesus paid the ultimate sacrifice for our salvation and to love one another as he loved us. That’s it. That’s all. Anything else has to do with fear and hatred and I quite frankly, have no time for that. The world is already an expert in hate and fear. We need to practice love and remember what that entails.

By scripture’s standards, love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interest, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all thing, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things. Love never fails. Let’s focus on this phrase: love believes all things. Love believes all things, that God made us all in his image, that it doesn’t matter who you love, but that you love. Expanding marriage means expanding love. That is true growth, true evolution.

DOMA

rainbowThis one is hard for me.  Not because I have trouble voicing my opinion…but because this issue is so rooted in fear and hatred of the gay community.  Strip away all the rhetoric and what is left is fear at its weakest and hatred at its strongest, neither of which is an acceptable motivation in my book.  Scripture teaches that the opposite of love is fear, so that is where I stand first and foremost.  Regardless of where anyone of you stand on the issue at this moment, which is a freedom richly fought for and celebrated in this country, level heads must prevail…which is easier said than done.  I know that.   I’m not the one fighting for my self-respect.  What I do know, is that I have many dear and beautiful friends who are gay whom I see as naturally no different from any of the other dear and beautiful heterosexual friends I have.   Sexual orientation isn’t something I even recognize so by extension regarding love, marriage and children I see no difference.  Period.   Except I know that in society there is one.  I know social media is rife with profile picture changes and scripture quotations making a clear unwavering stand for their positions on the issue.  So how do we come together?  We talk, we discuss, we challenge old judgments and work together, and for my part as a Christian…work together as the body of Christ.

When I hear people quote Scripture as an indictment against homosexuality, I wince.  Most often because the words are taken literally out of history and out of context.  For example, I did question someone when they quoted the first chapter of Romans to me about the literal word of God, but balked when I challenged them on their view on gun control.  Jesus did tell us to love our enemies and turn our swords into plowshares after all.  I really wasn’t trying to be a smart ass…really I wasn’t.  I did want to support the notion that it is dangerous when you use scripture to justify a bias literally on one issue and disregard it in the next.  I also challenge all of you who use Romans 1:24-32 to continue reading to the next chapter where Paul admonishes people for judging…you will be judged by the same measure with which you judge others.  Never mind that Paul in the first chapter was talking about the state of Rome under Nero, after the edict of Claudius expelled all Jews and converted Jews out of Rome…that he feared for converted Gentiles who lived there that they were falling into old pagan practices.  Never mind that the wickedness that Paul lays out in verses 29-31 could describe any one of us…so to heap all those horrible qualities on just gay people is ridiculous…period.  I also believe that to take Jesus words in Matthew as an indictment against gay people is just short of blasphemy… yeah, I said it.  Jesus was being tested by the pharisees about divorce as a means to find something to use against him, as they often did.  Jesus spoke to the hardness of the people themselves as a reason for divorce.  He went on to make sacred a union that in his time was often unfair to women, who had no voice, were considered chattel, and who could be dismissed by her husband if the marriage was unsatisfactory.  To use the beauty of a verse that celebrates love into a tool that indicts gay people renders its message void, especially since the verses that follow have Jesus blessing the children,  entering the kingdom of God by loving God and your neighbor as yourself and concluding with how hard it is for a rich man to get into heaven.  It’s curious how few take the verse “Go and sell all you have and follow me” literally…not that I would either, I’m just saying.

Jesus spent his whole ministry challenging the notion that we get to pick and choose who we love, and who we should treat with respect.  He spent his time with those whom society rejected and he often berated those that held positions of esteem…because it is wrong to use position and power to keep others out.  He is the corner-stone whom the builders rejected.  He championed our eternal destiny by bearing our flaws.  I can’t help but think, as Easter our most sacred day comes near, that we do him a dishonor when we focus more on judgement than we do championing love.  Love, as I’ve stated before is so much bigger and more powerful than our limited comprehension of it.  When it comes right down to it as Paul goes on to say in Romans…”There will be joy, honor and peace for everyone who does good…there is no partiality with God.”