As I begin the New Year with fresh resolve, I can’t help but feel a little anxious about my newest year long commitment: truth, in every sense of the word. Today, the edges that contain me seem less defined, more transparent, less protected, and after my prior commitments of years past: asking God to open my eyes to see and ears to hear, clarity, and understanding and celebrating the fruits that each of us uniquely hold, I think those once defining lines may dissolve completely. I’m not sure if it means that what people see is without any illusion or embellishment…but I certainly hope so. I’ve also spent the last few days wondering if I am afraid of the personal exposure that truth brings and I’ve come to the conclusion that I really don’t think I am. One of the parts of this journey I’ve asked for and taken is to weather through every step, every obstacle that comes before me, ripping away every illusion I had about myself, having faith that the result will be the best me possible in the end. I am not the woman that I was three years ago, and most of the time I am glad of it. It’s too hard to pretend to be something else, even if I wasn’t sure what that something else was. I’m embracing truth this year not only for personal reasons but because truth itself is under attack, plain and simple. I hold truth as our last great hope. The lines between reality and illusion have become too altogether murky and dark. I fear the going trend is that anyone can simply decide what truth means to them to circumvent facing personal responsibility and the harsher, concrete structure of truth in a universal sense.
I do have some trepidation about facing some of the things that embracing truth brings. Coming face to face with deception in the world outside my personal perimeter goes hand in hand with embracing truth. And in truth? (pun intended) sometimes its easier to hold on to deceptions and illusions for fear of what the truth will bring. I accept that it is necessary, regardless of the pain it brings, because the love of God, self and neighbor means nothing without truth. It was the question of truth, in the end, that brought Jesus to death:
“You say I am a king. For this I was born and for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone who belongs to the truth listens to my voice. Pilate said to him, “What is truth?” When he had said this, he again went out to the Jews and said to them, “I find no guilt in him”
I want to be guided by the truth, by his voice and testimony. And so my journey begins…
I was inspired by the readings for the second Sunday of Advent, with a tone of reconciling opposites. From Isaiah 11:1-10
On that day, a shoot shall sprout from the stump of Jesse,
and from his roots a bud shall blossom.
The spirit of the LORD shall rest upon him:
a spirit of wisdom and of understanding,
a spirit of counsel and of strength,
a spirit of knowledge and of fear of the LORD,
and his delight shall be the fear of the LORD.
Not by appearance shall he judge,
nor by hearsay shall he decide,
but he shall judge the poor with justice,
and decide aright for the land’s afflicted.
He shall strike the ruthless with the rod of his mouth,
and with the breath of his lips he shall slay the wicked.
Justice shall be the band around his waist,
and faithfulness a belt upon his hips.
Then the wolf shall be a guest of the lamb,
and the leopard shall lie down with the kid;
the calf and the young lion shall browse together,
with a little child to guide them.
The cow and the bear shall be neighbors,
together their young shall rest;
the lion shall eat hay like the ox.
The baby shall play by the cobra’s den,
and the child lay his hand on the adder’s lair.
There shall be no harm or ruin on all my holy mountain;
for the earth shall be filled with knowledge of the LORD,
as water covers the sea.
On that day, the root of Jesse,
set up as a signal for the nations,
the Gentiles shall seek out,
for his dwelling shall be glorious.
And also in Romans when Paul wishes that we have harmony with one another, but most importantly by the admonition of John the Baptist in Matthew’s gospel: “Therefore every tree that does not bear good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.” That’s it. That’s my resolution for next year. While my year of clarity paved the way for wiping illusion away, next year will the year of bearing good fruit. I won’t be blind to the troubles of the world, but there is too much good that goes unnoticed. So, I will find the fruit bearers and celebrate them and hopefully create a ripple effect. It brings me hope in this season to bring light to the darkness.
Let the new year start with a hopeful attitude. Tomorrow, think this thought: In 2016, all things shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well. Walk into the new year leaving all baggage behind. Release the layers of accumulated guilt, anger, failed promises and wishes, and instead walk bare, with vulnerability and trust into the immediate future. Whatever comes in your path, believe that you have the ability to continue forward and that God, who does hold you in dear regard, will be right beside you in quiet support when you ask, and unfailing love when you open your heart.
It took me a bit to think of how to issue in 2014. I despise platitudes and resolutions, like somehow they mark a beginning, a fresh start that isn’t connected to what has flowed from the past. Not to be negative, but I think there are enough illusions in the world, so I refuse to begin with pretense. So I offer this: the road for this year is wide open, if I choose to see it, no subterfuge, no distractions, no excuses. I will walk forward, setting down baggage that weighs me down, that is unnecessary for the completion of the journey. Jesus said his yoke is easy and the burden light. This year I will try to take him at his word…to see through the deceptive fog that would entice me be to believe that I don’t have what it takes, that would direct me off the path, that would sway me from my destination, wherever that may be. The road is open, and that is good.