Today is Father’s Day. I miss mine every day, and am comforted that he is watching over me spiritually and extending prayers my way. And while I can’t comprehend how, I do sense and feel his presence when most needed, and it also brought to mind the subject matter of this post. So, before I begin thoughts on heroism, let me share another caveat of being in an uncomfortable social situation, and asking for, and receiving validation. Like the last social event I spoke about, making the choice to act as my evolving self, and humbly asking for help to do so, I had another fortuitous encounter with my recent past. The venue where this social event was held looked remarkably like the venue of my son’s wedding, the memories of which brought me so much love and happiness. It turns out, both venues are owned my the same people (the properties are hundreds of miles apart), and for that reason I felt calmer…but that wasn’t the end, the same two bartenders, mother and daughter who served us so efficiently at Riley and Bri’s wedding were there. She recognized Steve and I and the moment felt heaven sent, as we were gathering to sit for dinner, (dinner placement is always unnerving for me, since I have no control and have to sit where I am told) she came running around the bar and gave me a big hug. We chatted and she remembered so fondly that day, how we teamed together to make sure all the bridesmaids drank water in between open bar cocktails…Isn’t that remarkable? How extending simple love does make an impact on a person. She wanted to give me her card in case we ever needed them for another event, because the venue we presently were at was just sold, and this was her last event there, so fortuitous!. Any way, just another example of how wielding love does make a difference, and love itself came around to give me another big hug for doing so.
Teilhard describes human existence as a heroic evolving quest, having the courage to push evolution forward by embracing the physical world, harnessing the “energies of love,” and willingly enduring suffering for the greater good. He believed it is far more “heroic” to dive into the work of the world—science, politics, and daily labor—and sanctify those actions instead of looking down on them like traditional religions tend to. Jesus displays this notion clearly by disassembling traditional understandings of power and redefines heroism from a focus on power, strength, and glorification of conquer, to a model based on love, humility, service to others, and self sacrifice. Jesus also says that the greatest show of heroism is to sacrifice personal preferences and safety for the sake of another, and to break the cycle of violence and vengeance by doing good for those who hate us and pray for those who persecute us. A difficult skill to master, assuredly, which is why it is all so important to master it in the everyday. Just like you can’t climb a mountain without the rigor of training, nor can you be your best hero without the same kind of diligence.
That is what my father represented to me. He wasn’t perfect, he knew that, but he showed up everyday, and committed to the kind of qualities Jesus preached about. He was one of the few men in my life who actually saw me, and loved me for it. He desired the best for me, and while in the end he questioned whether or not he was successful, the fact that he was committed to being a hero according to his faith for all those he came in contact with certainly made him a hero in my eyes. Happy Father’s Day!