The phrase: “No Limits”, was a guiding principle of my early life, as well as the phrase: “If it was meant to be it was up to me”. I thought I was holding to the principle that with God, everything was possible, which I still believe is true, however, none of us are on this journey alone, and when you’re so hell bent on moving forward at any cost, you do miss the occasional freight train coming your way that inevitably throws you off course. I missed seeing plenty of them, and have shouldered the consequences of the trauma caused, and yet at the same time have evolved by lessons from them that I would have never learned otherwise. I did settle down, and more importantly took the time to evaluate a situation when a huge obstacle seemed to be thrown down on my path. Sometimes, I believe the obstacles were heavenly blessings, sometimes a consequence of my impatience or inability to see when I was acting recklessly (like the time I swan dived off the top of a telephone pole with a simple harness to prove to the asshole guys below that while I may have been just a “peanut” as they called me, my metaphorical balls were bigger than theirs…which is why I went last, so there would be no discussion) Like I’ve said before my greatest weakness was thinking I had none, and I’ve paid a huge physical consequence as a result. Sometimes the limitations I face are just examples of living in a flawed human world. Lastly, some of the limitations were a result of people who threw obstacles in my path simply because they just didn’t like me or care or just didn’t give a shit and wanted me to fail, which is another reason why it’s important to surround yourself with those few people who have tamed you and have your back. Another essential caveat in understanding why I am standing where I am at this point is a prayer I made while part of a peace keeping mission with the National Council of Churches in Soviet Russia in 1984. I was the youngest by about a decade and in reaction to the bombast of many Pastors and Ministers I interacted with on the trip…I simply asked this : Lord, whatever it takes please, please, please never let me become an asshole (pretty much word for word). I believe God held true to that prayer and placed many obstacles and sent karmic blasts my way that kept me in my place.

Appreciating limits, learning from them and never wanting to become an asshole, to put it bluntly, are essential guiding principles for me now, besides all those other axioms of my faith. Which is why, and I’m going out on another limb here, I need to state clearly that I am not seeking fame, notoriety, or using a subject of my art as a steppingstone or any other misguided belief others have about why I paint what I paint and where it goes once I’m finished. It has always been my practice (even though I’ve only been doing this for five-ish years) to first offer the portrait to the subject in it if they want it as a gift before I put it up for sale. There are plenty of joyful examples of that in my small circle and I do it without bragging or notoriety. I do it because I simply want to continue the ripple (which is why I’ve also thought more than once why this gift came to me so late). Since the internet is, for me anyway, a kind of wild frontier, it has become one of those limits that I will have to learn to navigate around, with as much respect as I can. And I know I am pushing the limit of the prayer I made all those long years ago to God about not being an asshole…but if I see one more reel of an attractive Asian man sands shirt or other clothing in clearly visible underwear brands my fucking head is going to explode…put your damn clothes on. One of the things I’ve appreciated about Asian TV and films is a more genteel approach to human interaction, and people aren’t nekked and eating face all the time, plus modesty to the XY’s in my house were never and still aren’t a priority much to my chagrin, so I’ve seen enough for a lifetime….

Lastly, I don’t have much of an online footprint, because my presence is more to observe and learn and broaden my perspective. What I find hilarious and representative of my relationship with God is that when you search my name according to the AI info on Meta, It turns out I’ve had a long and illustrious career as a beauty pageant consultant (and I’m dead). Best laugh I’ve had in a long time…and for some I may need to say this, that is one of the many adventures that I haven’t had.

Let your next limitation be an opportunity to learn, re-evaluate, and redirect if needed, while still holding onto the power that guides you…as I said in the beginning, with God all things are possible.