I used to be Fierce

I was chatting with a practice member’s wife in our clinic the other day, and discovered that she was the book-keeper at the first job I had out of college.  When I told her my name, her mouth dropped open and she exclaimed, “Oh my God, you’re Mary Flood!!!  I used to wonder what happened to you!”  She spent the next few minutes talking about my energy and kindness and how crazy the priest was that we worked for.  This was one of a few experiences of running into people from my past.  Listening to how they remember me, not only surprised me, but made me a little sad…I used to be so fierce!  Words and phrases like fearless, boundless energy, passionate, a force to be reckoned with were used to describe my antics…and I often don’t feel that way anymore.  One of the forces that drove me when I was young is the belief that no amount of energy would be wasted, that all things were possible if you threw yourself out there.  While I still espouse those beliefs philosophically, I don’t think I’m walking that talk as much as I did when I was younger.  I know that one reason may be that I am tempered with experience and wisdom, but I’m also aware that deep down I just don’t trust the world as much as I used to.

When politicians spout invective rhetoric on a daily basis about each other, don’t even understand the basics of American history and can’t seem to work together….ever, and then the news has story upon story of the improprieties that they commit almost on a daily basis, I do find myself less compelled to throw myself out there.  I was at a political meeting last night, and while my extemporaneous rantings made people laugh, I realized that I was just angry and fed up.  Angry that our political leaders are, and here it comes….SO STUPID, and fed up that they couldn’t work together to solve a problem if we put a gun to their heads… I look to other places for salvation.  Yes, my faith is a central source…but for the most part I call out all you smart reasonable human beings out there who don’t want to sit by and watch evolution stop, to put your fierce on and on the most basic level…be reasonable, listen to facts and not rhetoric, be willing to be uncomfortable in conversations with family and friends, share ideas that you may have about fixing the many problems we face today. And most importantly, be proactive…don’t wait for someone else, or sit idly by and wait.   Let the inner tiger come out, even if starts as a cat….

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