Tag: validation

Seeing Through Shadows on a Higher Plane

I took the above picture initially so I could gage what flowers to purchase to decorate our back patio on the edge of our beautiful woods where I tend to spend a lot of time in the summer. I noticed the interesting shadows, and retook it from another angle…the picture almost appears to have a large demon/monster towering over me (I am covered in a huge blanket, since it was cold that day, and no I am not in a wheelchair, but a high top bar chair sipping iced tea. đŸ˜‰ ). It made me laugh, but also made me think. How often do we give credence to looming shadows in our lives and allow them to instill fear in us? Except when we really look at them from multiple angles, allow light to disassemble them or ask those we love for another perspective, they become nothing like what we feared they would be. I am guilty of succumbing to fear initially, but am also diligent in shifting direction and shedding light upon them. The operative word here, is “light”. With so many shadows that creep up on all of us every day, given how deeply invested the shadow masters of the world are into keeping us steeped in illusion (you know all the liars and wolves in sheep’s clothing out there), it does take a continuous commitment to the truth, to love, to having faith in a future free from those illusory fears that often impede our movement forward, especially in a world that is filled with an increasing and evolving reality. I have experienced first hand that I cannot face the darkness alone, and that, in and of itself, is releasing a shadow over me. It is often with herculean effort that I release the kinds of shadows that trap me into thinking that I am alone on this journey every single day, and ask for validation, for additional help from those I trust, and the support necessary to see things clearly as I move forward. Face it, we need each other, and while stating that may seem simple and obvious, asking for it, not only from heaven, but to someone’s face can feel heroic. So, be a hero…ask for what you need.

Weathering Turbulence

The above is a painting I’m working on which calms me a great deal while I forge ahead with building and sharing my gifts. I’ve placed some of my jewelry in a local boutique, and am finalizing details of the installation of my paintings in the public library during the month of July…both of which while great, still make me a little sick to my stomach.

Not that I believed living on a higher plane would be smooth sailing, or a simple exercise in mastering my sea legs…but I didn’t expect this kind of turbulence, especially the kind that nobody else can see, but those who choose to live on a higher plane. I hated writing that last sentence, because it sounds so pretentious, but really, its the opposite. The turbulence comes from the interactions and situations I am presented with, where I can’t unknow what I know now and am forced to choose between the person I was, or the person that I am in the moment, or the person who, in continuous evolution, I really desire to become, meaning every movement forward is a conscious choice between who I am going to be in that exact moment. I’m exhausted, and yet determined to never go backwards…so far, so good (except when I’m alone and I spill or break shit and swear like a sailor…that hasn’t changed). I’m not talking about the overthinking that I sometimes get trapped in…it is those obvious moments where I instinctively know there is a choice to make. The evolution also hasn’t been without help. I’ve had enough smacks on the head from God over my lifetime to remind me to ask for Love’s help when I need it, or to reach out to those I trust to ask for help too, and I’m getting better at it.

I was in a particular unsettling situation recently, ( for me anyway) when I needed a reminder that I was indeed a good person, who does good things, and has made a difference for good in my own way. So being aware that I was in a vulnerable place and didn’t want to backslide, or just coast through, I asked God for a little validation in the physical world from my trajectories, and it came…but not from where I thought it would. I recognized one of my old students at this social gathering, (I had to look him up on Facebook to make sure I didn’t embarrass myself, and it was him) I approached him and said Hello, and it was wonderful! It’s nice to not only be remembered, but to be remembered so fondly and then be introduced as his mentor, and have him share with me how much I have helped him in his life, especially with his faith, well, it made my heart full, and that one validation circumvented those who didn’t. It felt fortuitous that our paths crossed in the way it did and I am thankful to God for that. Accepting that we are all works in progress, evolving at our own pace is what I needed to be reminded of in that moment so I could learn to better deal with any turbulence that comes my way in the future, as well as be supportive of others during their turbulent times. It takes practice to be vulnerable and ask for help, and not look at it like its a weakness, because needing help is a simple facet of being human, and the quicker we all understand and embrace that notion, the quicker we can all evolve forward.

I told someone recently that everyone needs a place where they can feel safe to get all messy and emotional as we work through leaving our past selves behind and not be judged or rejected for it. It’s certainly what I want from those I choose to love, and expect from those who choose to love me. Regardless of my whirling dervish nature, I am worthy of that kind of safety as are those whom I have tamed, not only in the physical world, but the spiritual world as well, because we are forever responsible for those we tame, and also because that is what unequivocal love looks like in my book and it is the only way we keep moving forward together.