And Another Thing

So, here I am…krooked face and all.  It is what is is and in all likelihood I will get better.  True to my competitive and yet optimistic nature, I plan on being the valedictorian of recovery.  Which means that I have to admit while I think I am super woman…sans the tights and the cape…not a good look for me, I cannot do it all.  It kills me that I have to rest because I feel like crap, that my elocution sucks (and let me tell you extemporaneous speech is one of my superpowers) and that half the time I can’t see because my left eye doesn’t blink on its own anymore.  My inability to recognize my limits may be my kryptonite.  At first thought, I had the same attitude I always have had…simply that I’ve walked around with a fractured spine for 30 years undetected, this can’t stop me either.  Except it did.  I am forced to wear a vulnerability right out in the open and I don’t like it.  It was awkward at parent teacher conferences last night, because it’s hard not to keep staring at my flapping lips, when I want to talk as fast as I always do and can’t, and that I have to explain what happened over and over.  People have been beautiful about it, don’t get me wrong, that isn’t the issue.  The real eye opener (pun intended) is that I am part of the 100% of the population who is fragile and vulnerable and broken and weak.  We all are broken, I just happen to have it written on my face right now.  We should all be as beautiful to each other as those who can see it on my face have been to me.  It just isn’t always as obvious.  Who knows what internal paralysis may be going on inside someone, hidden to the outside world.  It has given me pause and challenged me to be more sensitive, and kind to others.  I do plan on posting the after picture as soon as possible.  Until then, I appreciate the prayers.

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