Testament

 I was thinking today about the men in my house.  Most of the time they drive me absolutely nuts.  I attribute this partially to the fact that I have an abnormally high aptitude for common sense and they have none. at. all.  Which pretty much leaves my facial expression locked in complete incredulity all the time.  Why?  Because sweaty underwear should never end up on my kitchen counter, toilets should never be left to overflow in the presence of all three of them unnoticed, and they can wipe their boogars on the wall, but are too squeamish to load dirty dishes into the dishwasher.  That being said, they are all remarkable in their own way. 

When I think of the men in my house I think of the parable of the tithes, where three servants are given part of their master’s wealth to protect and improve while the master is away.  Steve and my eldest son are perfect examples of this.  They take whatever gift they have and magnify it ten fold.  Steve told me once that he wishes that he could just do his job and never have to deal with payment.  He is passionate about leading people to health and wellness and knows more about the technical aspects of the nervous system than anyone I’ve every met.  He gets thrilled about attending seminars about blood pathogens and the impact on the nervous system.  His mind is formidable when it comes to pharmacological contraindications , genetics and nutritional effects on the spine and nervous system.  I think he is just saddened that so few people care to understand their bodies or are willing to trust his judgement when he tells them that he can indeed help them, but it might mean uncomfortable life changes and behaviors and committment to following through.  I don’t think his mind computes this phrase “I won’t do it if my insurance doesn’t cover it”  which loosely translates to “my body isn’t worth it”, “I want solutions, without changing my behavior” or the one that hurts the most “you’re not worth it, I can go somewhere cheaper”  What they don’t realize is that he gives 100% to each patient he works with, even if that means after hours, on weekends and holidays and at our home.  He has taken every gift he has been given and multiplied it a million times over, all with a laugh and a kind word.

For my oldest, he is that old soul who continually wanders off the beaten path to find new and interesting things just to share them with others.  He has a brilliant intellect and while it may be unconventional, exercises it every day in the hopes of becoming one of the worlds great innovators.  He is passionate about all things future.  He is awe-struck everyday with how unlimited the human imagination is and truly believes that if you can imagine it, you can make it.  Yet, he also knows the loneliness of innovation in a world that doesn’t really like to think outside of the box.  He told me once when tired of being the victim of the male posturing  that comes with adolescence, “I don’t care about being king of the hill, why can’t they just leave me alone?”  He unabashedly dances when he hears a great song, and most often couldn’t care less that other kids his own age who are so fearful of judgement they barely move without someone’s approval.  Yet at times it does wear him down, so that he hides inside our house with computers or the novel he is writing.

And to my youngest who is afraid to take the gifts he’s been given and bring them into the world.  I don’t know why he has so many fears…he’s smart, good looking, funny and incredibly athletic.  Somehow, he has allowed others to limit his potential by telling him that he’s no good.  He is naturally quiet and somewhat shy, and perhaps shadowed by the glorious personalities of this father and brother…its hard to compete with those who seem to be unafraid.  What I wish he could see is that we all have gifts we are given to bring to the world, and that this uncomfortable place he’s in right now will pass.  Trials can lead to great success if you let them.  Mom isn’t a credible source for him right now, and I understand that.

What I do want to do to those who try and harm these gifted, yet truly complicated,  ADD men is put my super hero cape on and beat the living crap out of anyone who tries to take advantage of their generosity and purpose in this life.  They may drive me absolutely mad, but I also see the potential in them to bring greatness to this world.  I. see. them…when the rest of the world may not.  I stand for them when no one else does.  I will be a testament to the gifts God gave them even when they do not.  That is my greatest gift, to see ahead and pave the way to the goodness that I know is coming.

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